An unfiltered fire hose of flaming condemnation

Know What I Feel?

I challenge anyone to listen to this song (mp3 link now unavailable) (“No Culture Icons” by The Thermals) only once and be able to go throughout your once bearable life without singing it in your head EVERY SINGLE SECOND OF THE DAY.

After I’d heard the song for the first time I couldn’t help but answer people who’d ask me, “Are you hungry?” with “HARDLY STARVING!!” over and over again. It was funny for the first three seconds and then I wanted to smash my head in with an axe just to dull the banging pain of a catchy song gone horribly wrong.

Now that I’ve heard it three hundred times I lie awake at night beating out the rhythm uncontrollably with my toes. I try to think of sheep but all the sheep in my head are dressed like little emo kids wearing bowling shoes, and each and every one of them are mouthing the words with their little fuzzy sheep mouths like freaky animatronic emo monsters.

What songs are you having trouble getting out of your throbbing, unsuspecting and tender little noggin?

  • jen

    nelly’s “pimp juice”

  • how weird is this? first off, i’ve never heard the foxwood commercials, but then i read sheila’s post: “…life is good, life is sweet, have yourself a front row seat…” and now, even though i have no idea how the song actually goes, it is stuck in my head. then, i’m going insane, so i read somelier’s post that i should just hum the girl from ipanema to get a song unstuck, so i do that and now the girl from ipanema is totally stuck in my head.

    all in all: damn.

  • TRack 4 “The Scientist” off of Coldplay’s 2nd album…because I’m not cool.

    “Nobody said it was easy,
    It’s such a shame for us to part.
    Nobody said it was easy,
    No one ever said it would be this hard.
    Oh, take me back to the start.”

  • She only wants me for my pimp juice…

    Dooce, this is the most evil topic evah. Everytime I come back, I leave dizzy.

  • The theme song for The Smurfs… evidence that I’m a dork.

  • b

    My head is so full of earworms, I can’t handle it. Jenny From Tha Block was one of the worst for me, of all times. That and (dare I say it?) It’s A Small World. I know, now you all really hate me.

  • The Angry Gumball song from that Extra gum commercial.
    But just the part that goes:
    “I’m an angry gumball!”

  • Krotchbat!! I’m going to KILL you for that. Could there be a more annoying commercial? I mean, gumballs DON’T HAVE FEELINGS. and even if they did, it’s like, get over it, gumball!

  • Yes, I know, Dooce.
    The Angry Gumball sucks.
    His rhyme sucks.
    And he sounds like he’s somebody’s Uncle Shecky stuck in the form of gumball. SToo-pid.

  • Crap, do people have no lives? I just visited this page before lunch and it hadn’t changed, I come back and 9,278 people have gotten to post before MEEEE! I am livid!

    So, I have had Tainted Love in my head all day and we have been arguing about who wrote it. Billy Idol or Soft Cell?

    Don’t touch me please, I canot stand the way you tease…

  • joey joe

    Well. I downloaded the song by these ‘Thermals’ you speak of….

    Oooh but it is terrible. Sorry to have wasted any of your gobs of gigs.

    I CAN see how having that song stuck in your head could lead to incessant crying. I believe I might try to root that tune out of my head with an icepick through the ear.

    The women in suits, however, are terrif!

  • losfeliz (way up there) “he war” IS addictive, then again, same for the whole record.

    the new evan dando LP makes me feel catchy.

  • The Shins “New Slang” and Seven Mary Three “Sleepwalking.” They’re like auditory crack as far as I’m concerned.

  • brunette

    “It’s a small world after all” and “I don’t wanna be a chicken..” (wedding song that people flap their damn arms at. yes! There ARE words to that song:
    “i don’t wanna be a chicken, i don’t wanna be a duck, so i shake my butt” *clap*clap*clap*clap

    i like to change the last verse to “so kiss my butt”. might be annoying still, but at least it’s funnier.

  • What song do I have stuck in my head? Well…how about No Culture Icons” by The Thermals? Thanks for that. After downloading it this morning I’ve now played it seven times.

    THe other song is “Jolene” a cover of a Dolly Parton song, apparently, by the White Stripes….that song just won’t go away. But it’s okay cause it rocks.

    The true killer though? “Wheels of the Bus” — the children’s song.

    wheels of the bus go round and round, round and round, round and round, wheels of the bus go round and round, early in the morning…

  • sugarsphinx

    i have lotus-goddamn-notes at work, and there’s a little ‘welcome’ button in the upper left-hand corner, which always prompts ‘welcome to the jungle…’ to play incessantly through my head. “na na na na na na kneees, kneeees!!”

  • The theme song to Gilligan’s Island will act the same way as “The Girl From Ipanema.” It clears the head, and won’t stick. But you got to sing it LOUD.

    Frequently I have Scooby Doo stuck in my head. It always starts as me singing some song that I don’t really know too well, and then I devolve into lame-brained scatting, which leads me straight into ‘scooby-doo-wah’, or some other non-singer’s scatty sound that starts with ‘scooby’. I defy you to start by singing the word ‘scooby’, and not end up at ‘You know we’ve got a mystery to solve and…’

    Damn. Stuck again.

  • if we want to talk kid’s songs…I have found myself singing the theme from Dora the Explorer outloud on more than one occasion. di di di di di dora di di di di di dora…dora dora dora the explorer!

    P.S. Tainted love was Soft Cell.

  • Oh, I just thought of something that ‘Girl from Impanema’ can’t erase!

    It’s another song sung by Astrud Gilberto, anyway I can’t remember the name but it’s very creepy-like and sounds (thus reminding you of) like the song at the end of Joan Chen’s “Xiu Xiu,” the part where Lao Jin shoots her in the head.

    Holy crap, it’s the most depressing scene/song ever — and you’d be hard-pressed to be wooed out of thinking about the song constantly, by ipanema fluff.

  • Irk

    I would like to add that Celine Dion interrupted the previous constant-flow of Shakira’s No Creo (the MTV unplugged version). I never heard of the angry gumball before today and now I’ve seen it in 3 different places. I must see this gumball.

  • bearcub

    Shit, I downloaded a few songs by this band under your recommendation “listening to”, and I think that song in particular is absolute waste! Horrible, horrible song! Usually you’re on the money…but that song…ouash.

  • Tra-la-lala-la-la, la-lala-la-laaaa…..

    “Ravage the land like never before, total destruction from mountain to shore!”

    Damn you, April.

  • Shawn

    Sadly enough, this week it has been Eye of the Tiger.

  • tee hee

    I can’t believe you let the dog sip Herradura, that’s blasphemy.

  • anna jr.

    “I play along with the charade, there doesn’t seem to be a reason to change….
    You know, I feel so dirty when they start talking cute
    I wanna tell her that I love her, but the point is probably moot.

    ‘Cos she’s watching him with those eyes
    And she’s lovin’ him with that body, I just know it
    And he’s holding her in his arms late, late at night…..:

    c’mon – EVERYONE SING!

    “you know i wish that i had Jessie’s girl!!!”

  • lordgoon

    “Thundering Hearts” by John Cougar. I shit you not. This song has been impossible to dislodge ever since it first took up residence in my brain ‘way back in junior high. That’s seventeen years ago now, people! Pity me. I should sell my brain as meat.

  • Anna Jr. , I’m with you on “Jessie’s Girl”….but the version sang in the movie “Keeping the Faith” by Dan, the asian karaoke guy. Even catchier than the original, and a hell of a lot funnier.

  • “I like BIG BUTTS and I cannot lie!!!!”

    Damn it all to hell, now I have “Baby got Back” in my head and it will never EVER leave…..

  • da

    those of you who live far from the woods of Conneticut consider yourselves lucky, the foxwoods theme WILL stay in your head until you actually drive to the damn casino and lose all your money.
    life is good, life is sweet, grab yourself a front row seat, yeah, lets live for the wonder of it aaallll. hey!

    -just kill me now.

  • cat power’s “good woman.” but maybe that’s cause i can’t seem to find one nowadays.

    and if you think those denim couches are scary, you should see the ones that faint. downright frightening.

  • Funny you should post on that today. Someone at work has been emailing “The Dildo Song” to everyone today. It’s set to the tune of the Slinky song. I can’t get it out of my head now. If you’re curious:

  • inmate!

    click my name for a link to that clip – that’s too too funny!

  • speaking of cat power, this has been plagueing me about the new record (which, if you haven’t bought on vinyl, you should! yummy warm sounds): what’s up with eddie vedder and dave grohl? and more importantly, when did dave grohl stop being hesh and start being cool?

  • Journey – Seperate Ways ( Worlds Apart ) “Here we stand, worlds apart, hearts broken in two…” ls.

  • “These are a few of my favourite things” from The Sound Of Music.

    God, how I hate it.

    But once it’s stuck in my head the only thing that will drive it out is “Girl From Ipanema” or, and just the mention of this will get it stuck in my head, “Who Let The Dogs Out?”

    It’s the cognitive itch.

  • First of all: listen to streaming internet radio. It’s worth it. They are the community station here in Seattle and John Richards in the Morning is our leader. His shows are archived so you can go listen anytime.

    Second: song stuck in my head: Young Turks by Rod Stewart. Not the whole song, just the fade-out ending part. I heard it in the grocery store late at night and here’s what Rod (heh. Rod) sings over the looped chorus:
    Young Hearts. Be Free. Tonight. Tonight tonight tonight tonight yeah. oo-oo-oo-ooh oo-oo-ooh oo-oo-ooh. Young Hearts. Be free. Tonight. Time. Time. Time. Time. Time. Is on your side. Is on your side. Is on your siiiiiide.


  • “spending the day in the shirt you wore” by poi dog pondering. puts me in a good mood instantly….also, “mr. e’s beautiful blues” by the eels. yet another feel-good tune. “such great heights” by the postal service (and for the quieter times, the iron & wine cover). the saccharine never sounded so sweet. right.

  • A friend once advised me that the best song to sing was the theme song to “The Love Boat”. It’s barely a song, nobody knows the words, and it doesn’t stick. But it gives you something to think about, so you’ll forget whatever other horror you have playing in your head.

  • How about:
    Shout, kick your heels up and shout come on now
    Don’t forget to say heyheyheyhey say you will
    Don’t know who sang it though. I’ve heard it sung by Cher and saw Bon Jovi sing it in concert as the final song. Dang, now I have 3 or 4 songs in my head.

  • Anyone not from Utah probably won’t get this one… but you know those “Low Book Sales” commercials? Those damn things always get stuck in my head.

    My boyfriend and I have this competition oft-where we’ll sing songs that easily get stuck in your head outloud, and go back and forth… driving each other crazy. Whoever’s song is in both your heads after it all… wins. Its awful.

  • Ladytron-Seventeen is haunting me.

    iTunes decided to play it twice as I wrote this. Its obviously some kind of sign.

  • Head, shoulders, knees and toes – Knees and toes.
    Head, shoulders, knees and toes – Knees and toes.
    Eyes and ears and nose and mouth.
    Head, shoulders, knees and toes – Knees and toes.

  • Beck Plays Hockey

    Speaking of songs that get stuck in your head and won’t go away, I have to nominate the jingle for “Meow Mix”… And now they mock me by making commercials about how everyone hears the jingle and can’t stop singing it! Torture! You know how it goes “Meow, meow, meow, meow. Meow, meow, meow, meow. Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow…” Repeat until crazy…

  • BTW Dooce: bravo on telling the girls next door your reason for skipping church. That ought to put a little adventure into their family’s church going experience this Sunday!

  • trucmuche

    Every morning of the last week, even before I open my eyes, I have that song by French band Autour de Lucie (Chanson sans issue*) playing in my head. And since probably no one here knows them, I’ll have to bear it all alone… Not that it’s bad, but after a week…

    *Litterally “Song with no way out”!

  • EC

    “Conjunction, Junction what’s your function…” Or any of the songs off of that School House Rock DVD. Sometimes I wonder why I had to relive my childhood.

  • Jenny, I’m all too familiar with that little bit of torture. Why on earth was that ever invented?

    For the record, the song stuck in my head is the theme from Gargoyles.

  • Cheekychk

    Yahmadallah…word up on the “Yoshimi” call…however, my stupid sushi-loving brain has it’s own demented version…Her name is Sashimi…etc. Oh, and Kindle, another song that kicks out any other, guar-an-teed: There’s a hole in the bucket, dear Liza, dear Liza, There’s a hole in the bucket, dear Liza my dear. Well fix it, dear Henry, dear Henry, Dear Henry, well fix it dear Henry, dear Henry my dear. We’ve scientifically experimented with this. On a last note, today’s OCD song for me is Shake Ya Brain–David Holmes. Just “Shake ya brain, shake ya brain” over and over and over. But I do like the song.

  • marjane

    “That’s why i’m all up in your grill, trying to get you to a hotel. you must be a football coach, the way you got me playin’ the field. so baby give me that TOOT TOOT, lemme give you that BEEP BEEP. Runnin’ her hands through my fro, bouncin on 24’s…it’s the remix to ignition, hot and fresh out the kitchen…sippin on coke and rum, I’m like so what, I’m drunk…it’s the freakin’ weekend, baby I’m about to have me some fuuuun….bounce bounce bounce bounce boounce bounce bounce bounce bounce. ”
    God, it’s awful, I can’t get it out of my head.

  • Michele

    Okay, I debated about whether to put these here because I think I’m the biggest freak when it comes to this. My husband and I get together and one song will never leave. Here are a few:
    Theme from Three’s Company
    Theme from Batman
    Hot in Herre Nelly
    Big Pimpin(every day at least once!)
    Annie’s Song John Denver
    All The Things She Said-Tatu
    Please Mister Please Oliva Newton John
    Jenny from the Block J-Lo
    Close to you The Carpenters
    Beautiful Christina Aguilara
    and the latest:
    Here comes Peter Cotton Tail from the Toy’s R Us commercial…don’t tell me you all aren’t hearing that one over and over late at night!

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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