An unfiltered fire hose of flaming condemnation

Know What I Feel?

I challenge anyone to listen to this song (mp3 link now unavailable) (“No Culture Icons” by The Thermals) only once and be able to go throughout your once bearable life without singing it in your head EVERY SINGLE SECOND OF THE DAY.

After I’d heard the song for the first time I couldn’t help but answer people who’d ask me, “Are you hungry?” with “HARDLY STARVING!!” over and over again. It was funny for the first three seconds and then I wanted to smash my head in with an axe just to dull the banging pain of a catchy song gone horribly wrong.

Now that I’ve heard it three hundred times I lie awake at night beating out the rhythm uncontrollably with my toes. I try to think of sheep but all the sheep in my head are dressed like little emo kids wearing bowling shoes, and each and every one of them are mouthing the words with their little fuzzy sheep mouths like freaky animatronic emo monsters.

What songs are you having trouble getting out of your throbbing, unsuspecting and tender little noggin?

  • michele

    Dooce, SO sorry! Had a problem with my browser.
    Please delete a few so I don’t look like a complete dork! Please!

  • bit2byte

    Thank you Jay Z.

    The original version(1977): “It’s the Hard-Knock Life”  performed by Andrea McArdle and Orphans

    Just try getting this out of your head.

  • I’ve been listening to baby music from Pottery Barn Baby for the last ten months since the little one has been around.

    How about:
    No Bananas
    The Trolley Song
    Three Little Fishies

    as for adult music:
    Holiday In The Sun – Sex Pistols
    Sound Of Silence – Simon/Garfunkel

  • lee

    I constantly have “Big Booty Hos” in my head. I never should have memorized the lyrics. (“Let me see you touch the ground…”)

  • The phenomenon is called Stuck Song Syndrome (SSS). Hell, even the word ‘phenomenon’ reminds me of the Muppet’s song: …ma na ma na…
    …Ich lieb dich nicht du liebst mich nicht …da DA DA DA…I don’t love you you don’t love me …da DA DA DA (by Trio)
    …push the little daisies…make ‘em come up…push the little daisies…make ‘em come up…[repeated ad finitum] (Ween)
    …They’re coming to take me away, ha-haaa!! They’re coming to take me away, ho-ho, hee-hee, ha-haaa…To the funny farm…(Napoleon XIV)
    …don’t worry…be happy! (Bobby McFerrin)
    I have to give credit to ‘brunette’ for beating me to post the ultimate SSS song: “It’s a Small World”

    thanks loads, Dooce. 😉

  • “The Billy Flynn Rag” from Chicago soundtrack..It’s even in my dreams…I liked it about the first ten thousand times it went through my it’s like torture!!!

    It there a drug..and can I BEG some from you?

  • boom boom boom boom
    i want you in my room
    so we can stay together
    from now until forever
    (vengaboys…i curse you for haunting me a whole summer.)

  • dvl

    “Your Stupid Cat” by Phineas Gage – this was a brilliantly funny song by a garage band in L.A. 10+ years ago…. I so wish I knew what happened to them.

  • Tom Jones’ “What’s New Pussycat”. Uh, yeah – because it’s been on that damn Telus commercial for months.

  • Chelsea

    At the risk of sounding ridiculous… “The Chicken Song”

    Ah, the shame.

  • bdk&e

    Tinky Winky, Dipsy, Laa-Laa, Po; Teletubbies, Teletubbies, say Hell-lowh. (Over and Over I find myself singing aloud these words, in the car, the grocery store, where ever; in an operatic, country, and perhaps a wannabe rapper voice.)

    -Getting you prepared to join our world.

  • chili’s fucking baby back ribs.

    and i’m a vegetarian.

    fuck them and their bar-b-que sauce.

  • pretty_paranoia

    the ringtone on one of my collegues mobile phones.

    everytime i manage to get it out of my head it fucking rings again.


  • Dun, da-dun, da-dun, Inspector Gadget,
    Dun da-dun da-dun dun dun,
    Woo woo!

  • Ah, Death Cab For Cutie, “Company Calls.” I never really got into them before but a friend gave me their last album. Now I’m really digging them and playing them on my radio station all the time. That and that McLusky song where the singer is screaming “my love is bigger than your love, SING IT!!!” Sing it, damn it!!

  • scannovision

    so many posts i can’t imagine anyone’s still reading… which is why i feel safe admitting that — after seeing my sister perform in “joseph and the amazing technicolor dreamcoat” — well, “i feel handsome, i feel smart/i am a walking work of art…” i take comfort in the fact that as i walk among the seemingly normal i know they, too, have ridiculous songs running through their heads. i’m not alone.

  • kate

    Ha, unfortunately, I’ve had “Father Figure” by George Michael in my head for days. Ugh.

  • Heard Pink’s “Get this party started” before I went to class tonight (MIDTERMS – ARGH!) and it’s on perpetual replay.

    Oh well, better than “It’s a small world” or “I’m Henry the 8th, I am.”

  • Chris

    ‘The Witch Doctor’
    sung by Homer Simpson. 🙂

  • J

    “ta da da da da da
    *mumble, mumble, mumble*
    because you’re beautiful,
    yoooou’re beautiful.”
    since 530 this goddamn morning. on the upside, i was thinking this when i looked at my little baby (kitten).
    God just shoot me now!

  • Phil

    Speed Lab…
    John Vanderslice

  • I’ve had this song stuck in my head for weeks. Did I pass this on unwittingly by blogging on it?

  • Kelli

    OMG, Julia. I am so with you. And to make it worse, I just got MMMBop out of my head after like four years, because my sister found the need to watch – get this – the Spice Girl movie. That’s right. Now I’ve got MMMBop and “Too much of something is bad enough…” Oh sweet sweet lord…

  • Spike

    The worst song of all just *has* to be “Magic Moments”. Start singing that one, and you’re screwed for months… 🙁

    Personally, that “No Culture Icons” one didn’t stick at all. I couldn’t even remember what it sounded like about 30 seconds later. *phew!*

  • SuSu LOSER

    17 years ago my boyfriend and brother formed a punk rock band (think Ramones/Sex Pistols) called “Pockets of Resistance” Thier only song was called “pockets of resistance.” It’s only lyrics were “pockets of resistance…. pockets of resistance” They played it over and over and over again in the garage, at parties … even recorded it on the community college TV station… Like a loyal sister/GF I listened and banged my head daily and of course knew all the words. Yesterday I IM’d my Brother and asked him “What band did ‘pockets of resistance’ cause I can’t get it out f my head”…. He had to remind me that it was His band and what a total loser I am for forgeting that the band ever existed. I was even asking people at work if they remembered who did this song… I thought for sure some retro DJ would be reviving this tune anyday now due to it’s relation to current events…

    I am ….as ever…. SUCH A LOSER..

  • Afternoons and Coffee Spoons by the Crash Test Dummies…

    I heard it a few days ago, and it’s still in my head. I think the song even made a cameo in a dream last night.


    Music is really powerful.

  • I’m not a Rolling Stones fan at all (well maybe some of the early stuff), but that damn disco tune they had gets stuck in my head every so often and I can’t stop it.

    Do-doot doo-doo doo-doo-doo…

    Aw crap, here we go…

  • Cat

    …yes baked and not fried Goldfish. It’s the snack that smiles back until you bite their heads off! Yes they’re made of real cheese, even though they look like fishies. The snack that smiles back: Goldfish.

  • Jodi

    When nephew was little he used to listen to some show or tape that had a song called “This is The Song That Never Ends,” and believe me… it doesn’t. It goes on and on and on….
    Sometimes my brother would call me at work and start to sing that song.Boy does it ever stick in yer craw. ARGH!!

  • xiolagrl

    head hurts…..

    my brain is on total overload. i’m going to have to agree with the mighty jimbo. that stupid chili’s song makes me insane, actually it makes me homicidal.

  • the “once, there was a girl who …” by crash test dummies. i heard it on a rerun of SNL awhile back and now it’s STUCK in my head.

  • pinky bethesda

    Its always the theme song from the cat food commercial from the 80s: My kitty cat, craves chicken. My kitty cat craves milk, etc. or the theme sog from fucking diffrent strokes.

  • Some damn company has starting running ads on television with “The Song That Doesn’t End!” Arrggh!
    This is the song that doesn’t end/
    Yes it goes on and on my friend/
    Some people started singin’
    it not knowing what it was/
    And they’ll continue singin’ it forever just because/
    This is the song that doesn’t end/
    Yes it goes on and on my friend. . .
    Continue until someone punches you in the head.

    Sort of like this story that my evil mother used to tell me:

    It was a cold dark night in Borneo, and dragons large and dragons small were gathered ’round the campfire all and Horatio said “Tell us a story.” And the story went something like this: It was a cold dark night in Borneo, and dragons large and dragons small were gathered ’round the campfire all and Horatio said “Tell us a story.” And the story went something like this: It was a cold dark night in Borneo. . .

  • cat#1

    JC: my brothers and i used to torment each other like that, too. this post is definitely providing me with enough ammo to last quite a few years…

    as for me, anything by Luscious Jackson gets irrevocably lodged in my head for hours. it becomes horrifically irritating after i find myself chanting “Fantastic fabulous, you are wonderful…” under my breath for the hundredth time.

  • Jay

    Gimme some o that
    Gimme some o that
    Runnin’ her hands through my ‘fro.
    Bouncin’ on twenny-fo’s…

  • subbacultcha

    it’s been a constant shuffle of that thermals song and “nothing better” by the postal service for the past couple of weeks. i am a slave to the indie Top 40 (or rather, 4). little yellow different Pop.

  • Smelly Cat by Phoebe from Friends.

  • This song hurts my face.

  • 1. “Goonies R Good Enough” by Cyndi Lauper

    2. “Angelina” Louis Prima

    3. “Instant Pleasure” ALA Rufus Wainwright

    4. Also, the Banner Mattress ad, which if you are a Californian you have to suffer through some fat chubby guy with a voice like Mike Tyson say “We’ll beat anyones advertised price or your matress is Freeeeeeeee.”

    So damn annoying.

  • This is our jingle for goldfish, our jingle for goldfish!

    The snack that smiles back until you bite their heads off!

    Love that commercial and the song sticks to me as does a moistened fish-shaped cracker.

  • Every time someone mentions anything about the temperature, I get “It’s Getting Hot in Herre” by Nelly stuck in my head and the only way to dislodge it is to sing it out loud.

    Also, I have had the chorus for ‘What’s Your Name?” by Lynyrd Skynyrd stuck in my mind for weeks! WEEKS!
    Shoot me. Shoot me now.

  • Oh, I kid you not peoples… But I cannot stop singing “Mystery Date”… Are you ready for your mystery date? Don’t be late! For your mystery date!

  • john

    “Always look on the bright side of life”, from monty python. With the whistle.

  • Speaking of Monty Python, they have a song on their “Contractual Obligation” CD that is apropos to this thread: “Here comes another one”

    It goes:
    Here comes another one
    Here it comes…again
    Here comes another one
    When will it ever end?

  • I’m dying!!! Meow Mix, Conjunction Junction, Low Book Sales, Inspector Gadget…not to mention the comment about eating people in the temple and emos!!! hahahahahahahaha!!!

    Mine: Shake your pants by Cameo

    and just a tip, if you really want to piss people off, imitate the chicks voice from Nelly’s Hot in Here song (I…am…getting…so…hot…)

  • No, the stickiest Monty Python song is “Eric the Half-a-Bee,” which in some ways is fun, because if you sing it enough, people around you start going homocidal, while you’re inexplicably perky and happy.

    Ah-la-dee-dee, one two three, Eric the Half a Bee!

    A B C D E F G, Eric the Half a Bee.

  • Did I just type homocidal? I meant homicidal. Hehe.

  • Hopefully this works, click above to hear the one in my head for days.


  • Mahna Mahna by the Muppets. (Click above)

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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