the smell of my desperation has become a stench


The color on every wall and every door and every closet in every room except the kitchen of our new house:

The color we painted the living room this weekend:

The color on every surface of the kitchen, including the surely once magnificent 80-yr old wood moldings:

The color we plan to use in the kitchen to match the polygamist housewife-style linoleum on the kitchen floor until we have enough cash and time to redo the whole kitchen:

The color of the 20 yr-old carpet covering the 80-yr old hardwood floors in every room of the house:

The color we’re paying a Phish roadie to restore the hardwood floors to this weekend:

The color we’re putting on the already painted 80-yr old moldings in the bedrooms:

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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