the smell of my desperation has become a stench

Email: I Lack the Fibre

Subject: none

I read some of your website and quite frankly was astonished that you are a person that has had a child at all…..I think some people should just leave such wonderful experiences to those who have the stamina and fibre to do such things!!!

Having a baby is a WONDERFUL experience, down to the labor pains and tearing…..I think by after 7 months you should seriously be over this!!!


Dooce Note: This email was written entirely in pink.

If there’s one thing we all know, it’s that I lack fibre. Constipated women just shouldn’t have kids. It should be written into the Consitution.

No one told me this experience was supposed to be wonderful!!! I FEEL SO CHEATED!

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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