An unfiltered fire hose of flaming condemnation


  • Gavinator

    I told my husband last night I thought your husband was a hottie. He wasn’t amused. I’m going to be in trouble after this. Jon is SMOKIN’!

  • anna

    Now, I might be happily married and all, but even I know you’re tempting fate by posting all these hot pictures of your man.

    Hordes of women (and men?) are about to descend on Utah to enjoy the scenery, snack on the luscious babies, and steal your smokin’ husband.

    Damn, you’ve got a visually stimulating life. Did I say easy? I did not. But boy it’s good-looking, judging from your snaps.

  • catdog

    one hot honey w/a side of fall foliage- great scenery you’ve got out there

  • catdog

    one hot honey w/a side of fall foliage… nice scenery you’ve got out there

  • Did you know that your husband looks a little bit like Leta? No, for real! Hold her up next to this picture and squint…

  • He’s got the look as if he’s thinking: “Poopy diapers again?”

    nice nice :))

  • KellyH

    I gotta say it too- I’m very happily married, but Jon is yummy. And hot.

    Is it weird to have people you don’t know say this about your husband?

  • Mir

    He is obviously thinking very hard about your constipation issues, wondering if a different flavor of Doritoes may in fact be the key to keeping things moving.

  • There is only one flavor of Doritos.

  • Barbara

    I can’t be all checking out your husband while reading about everyone’s poop. Yer killing my Hot Guy buzz!

    Hey! Was that your plan all along?

  • Katy

    He’s so rugged. He’s quite the hottie.

  • “Jon’s first day contemplating his new job as an internet model.”

  • your husband looks like Aidan from Sex and the City… you are SOOOO LUCKY!!!

  • Is there a story behind that nickname?

  • Handsome, of course. But I kinda miss the beard.

    I like beards.

  • I’ve gotta start posting pics of my hot husband, too. The internet’s obsession with his hotness must amuse him.

  • Whoah. Oh my goodness. Geez Louise, look at those MOUNTAINS!!!

  • Erin

    Actually, there are regular Doritos (nacho cheese), Cool Ranch, Salsa, and Guacamole, as well as other flavors I don’t know about, perhaps. But I have to say that there is only one GOOD flavor of Doritos, and that is the regular kind. Just my two cents.

    Cute husband, BTW. Oh, and Heather, a spinach salad a day does it for me, even during pregnancy. Since you asked. 😉

  • That’s funny – My dad’s nickname was PB… but it stood for Persistent Bastard. (My mom declined to accept his proposal the first 7 times…)

  • oh…umm…wow.

    did it just get hot in here?

  • Mmmm, scrumptious husband. He reminds me much of my own hubs.

    Geeks are *so* hot.

  • brent

    i dont know why the ladies think jon’s hot. he just looks like a regular guy to me. maybe thats cuz i’m straight, i dunno.

  • Kat F.

    yup. totally read that as ‘pumpkin boy.’

  • Kimberley

    I think I am going to convince my boyfriend that we need the D70. I keep admiring your photo’s, but now is the time for *ACTION*!

  • You’re giving me a complex for older men!!!! (Ok, he’s not an ‘older man’, so to speak, but im only 19, so in my world he is)

    Nicely done

  • Jon’s hairdo looks like, what we call in England, a ‘Hoxton Fin’ (like a fake mohican but done with a hairbrush and gel rather than clippers and superglue)… or is it just the way he wind was blowing?!

  • Leon as Peter Schilling

    Ground Control to Major Jon
    Are you receiving?

    Standing there alone
    You’re wife’s not pooping
    You could always go
    Yet she’s all clogged up

    Back in pottie central
    There is a problem
    Grab the Metamucil
    She’s not responding
    “Hello Major Jon, are you receiving?”
    “Get her coffee and cigarettes!”
    “Can’t you hear her cry?”
    …..there’s no reply

  • Very handsome–but you already know that! In this photo, he reminds me of Dennis what’s his name who was married to Meg Ryan. Ack, give me memory hormones!

  • Katie

    Ah, yes Dennis Quaid. You’re right, Margaret.
    Besides the hot man standing up front, this photo looks like a painting. Wow.

  • Tracy

    Leon – heh.

    30-something punks-turned-geeks are the hottest. I managed to snag one too. Cheers!

  • He looks A LOT like Leta.

  • Did you hear? Mt. Rushmore’s missing a head.

  • He’s like the hot epilogue to SLC Punk.

  • Lesley

    Jon looks a little bit like the guy who stars in Garden State.

  • It’s the Demon Frog Frown!

  • E.

    He’s a punk fan?? Oh, you lucky lucky woman.

  • wheezer345

    Do you feel lucky, well do you, PUNK!

  • Jon looks a lot like Leta? I think Leta looks a lot like John. Which came first the chicken or the egg? I don’t know. It’s all geek to me.

  • Gia

    Could Jon look more like Leta in that photo! Wow – family resemblance! (sorry Dooce – she looks like you too – I swear!)


  • Ev

    Worst. President. Ever.

  • Ev

    Sorry! Meant to post that at Jon’s site.

  • The pictures are actually pretty neat, all with the background to be remembered. Perhaps, you should come up with another site for just your expansive gallery?

  • the furrowed brow. the squinty eyes. the look of discomfort.

    wait a minute.

    i though YOU were the one who was always constipated.

    (sorry jon. 😉 you know i love you both)

  • Holy moses, it really is the demon frog frown. Unbelievable. How hilariously adorable!

  • IHateToast

    Jon ponders a poop problem: If a poop is leaving a bottom at 6:30 pm in a 2 minute pooping human and another poop is leaving a bottom at 4:30 pm in a 5 minute pooping human, when will they meet? Bonus Question: When will Dooce Poopce?

  • Damn. He’s hot. Good job.

  • Why? He doesn’t look like a punk!

  • amy

    Ahem… your daughter looks so much like your husband. Like you never heard that before 😉

  • 1) Not used to being referred to as “hot”. A little weird.

    2) Punkboy™ was an alter ego who was going to dress like a Republican and scream a lot. It started with an anthem to buy t-shirts when I played in a ska band in the early 90s. Then I saw Bob Roberts and just made some t-shirts with a logo and “Punkboy” across the bottom and sold them when I was in a punk/jazz band. The t-shirts paid for a clutch replacement in my 1988 Subaru wagon. Neither punk nor boy, really, but that was the joke.

    3) Still not used to being referred to as “hot”. Very flattered, but very, very taken. If anybody in this family is hot, it is Mrs. Armstrong. S M O K I N G.

  • my husband and i met under Blur circumstances, too.
    but his nickname was Shoe Gazer Boy.

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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