An unfiltered fire hose of flaming condemnation

Self Portrait With Tongue

  • Sue

    That’s funny! Even when you’re messing around you have a knack for getting a good picture…That interview was great!

  • Heheheh
    You are smashing!
    And OMG where will the blond hair go..?!?

    Anyway we all loved it :)))

  • di

    i dig the look!

  • When will we get a look at the new color? I’m betting it’s red.

  • Let us not forget the follicular tragedy that was Poopy Septic Tank Red hair. Proceed cautiously when ousting the blonde.

  • I love the pic! You are so funny. I could never look funny with my tongue sticking out.

    Can’t wait to see your new color!

    Love in Christ,
    Amber <><

  • Heather-You have a great sense of humor.

  • Svetlana

    Is there hair visible in that picture? Oh well, somehow we will all have to find the strength to go on.

  • foofer

    I’m betting you’ll be blonde again within 3 weeks. Bets, anyone?

  • When you make that face with a toilet behind you, one wonders if it’s a reaction to something stinky in the bowl.

    Constipated People Unite!


  • Kat

    This is a really great site. And I love the photos!

  • Love the site doocie, its great 🙂
    Have spent all afternoon reading about you and your life.

    Great photo/blog/site you have here.
    Keep up the excellent work,

    また ね,

  • I also wonder what color your new hair will be!

    I think red would look great =)

  • Septic Tank Poopy Red is back!!

  • I wish my tongue was that pointy. Pointy tongues are cute. Mine is always kinda rectangular no matter what I do. And we all know that’s so uncool.

  • Ooh new hair, can’t wait! Come over to the brown side, it’s nice here!

  • Gia

    My goodness you have good posture.

    Can’t wait to see the new hair! 🙂

  • Jeff

    Hasn’t your mom ever told you. “Make a face like that and it could get stuck” 🙂

  • Mir

    But can you touch your nose with your tongue? Looks like you might be able to.

  • My sister *can* touch her nose with her tongue…not only that she can PICK it!

    It’s a great trick for babysitting. My kids are just riveted. I am too…but in a disgusted kind of way.

  • erika

    Look at ya holding your baby!!
    We have the same camera!!

  • Hey, I won a talent contest once for touching my nose with my tongue. I can’t pick it though, that is DISGUSTING!

    Can’t wait to see the Return of the Septic Tank Poopy Red. Or maybe the Chemical Plant Neon Green?

  • Im voting for blue black!!!!

  • Sarah

    Heather, I think you would look great with all different shades of blonde with copper and burgandy mixed in (kind of a highlight with lowlights too)!

  • what color will it be?!?

    i demand a pic right away of the new dooce-hair! 😉

  • i can also touch my tongue to my nose. shame i am not a lesbian really…

  • I’m with Angie…brown hair is extremly underrated. Go brown! (Now brown with streaks of gray on the other hand…sigh…)

  • ooo…dye it blue. I think you could pull off blue.

  • So, what color will it be henceforth? Is blonde your natural color?

  • a jus a jus jus. wah wah waaaaaah.

    (Mama is crossing her fingers for pink or purple locks.)

  • Oh Dear

    How I’d love to see some color on that bathroom wall! Something bold and fun! Oh, on your hair, too!

  • Leon as Julie Brown

    I never seem to poop even with a good book
    I can take all the potty pictures I want when I look like I look
    ‘Cause I’m a blond, D-O-O-C-E
    ‘Cause I’m a blond, don’t you wish you were me

    450 posts and counting on a post about poop
    Seems the entire world is stuck in my constipated loop
    ‘Cause I’m blond, nya nya nya
    ‘Cause I’m a Dooce, nya nya nya

    Dooce – now with more bathroom stinkface

  • I dyed my hair green once. It worked out poorly. Dont do it–just imagine the hate mail you’d get. You cant raise a child if you have green hair.

    I cant picture you un-blonde. You’ve got a rosy complexion that fits nicely with it. Although the copper look might be awesome…

  • Laurel 825

    {looks at calendar} Yes, it’s October.

  • You’re going to shave your head, aren’t you?

  • abc

    weird. I think I just dreamed about you with dark hair. OR maybe I was just thinking about you with dark hair. In my spare time I imagine Dooce with various hair colors.

  • i have LOADS of pics of me like that.

    but that’s just cause i’m a narcissist.

    and have nobody else to take my picture.

  • I love the composition of that photograph! That picture rocks.

  • My memory hormones kicked in–your husband looked like Dennis Quaid in that photo. I think Dennis is pretty hot, even though I’m not too sure he’s a very nice guy. Jon sounds much better!

  • Gia on Guam

    There is no reason to think Dennis Quaid is not nice. It was Meg Ryan that went off and canoodled with the Gladiator.

  • zebob

    OMG! Your camera is so hot!

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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