An unfiltered fire hose of flaming condemnation

She fell over!

  • StacyG

    The pictures of Chuck as a Chick belong on a Hallmark card of some sort. Too funny! I loved all the pics.

  • Gia on Guam

    Finally…photo climax!

    And there’s a George to boot!

  • Molly

    I am in tears from laughing so hard! I am so happy that you had a good Mormon Halloween.

    Leta is an adorable Frog! She looks about as amused as you are in the first photo!

  • Yeah! Thank you for sharing the rest of the story!

  • Susie

    I am falling in love with Chuck. Would he ever consider participating in a doggy-exchange program? My dog is demon-possessed.

  • Jen

    I love the look on Leta’s face in the work party pic. It’s as if she is SO not impressed. Thank you for sharing the cuteness!

  • AndreaBT

    Well, *of course* the focal point of that picture is of Chuck’s heiney! Any idiot can see that 😉 (In all truthfulness, that was my first thought…George took a picture of Chuck’s butt!)

  • IHateToast

    leta! ready for college!….outside of god’s lap, of course. oops. did i not cap the g in god? am i going to hell for not shifting? for having a lazy pinky? guess they’ll kick me out of the constitution party now!

  • I must admit, I was not totally sold on George before now. I remember the previous posts, yes, and while I had a fairly good image of George in my mind, some dynamic of his personality was missing. This post, however, has completed it. What could be more George than taking a picture of his car, of the pizza, and a horrible focal-point-less photo of the Armstrong den, revealing way more carpet, floor, and magazine bin than we could ever have previously imagined? All, probably, with the secret intent of having Heather put them up to expose the very Georgeness that is George?

    I’m sold.

    Heather, if you were a super-hero, Jon and Leta would be your super-hero family, and George would be your fantastic sidekick. What other super-powers does he have?

  • jin

    LOL 😀 hey, aren’t you afraid that you might get sued for this?? *kidding* i love Leta Frog!! just adorable!!! and not to mention your bird-like dog…

  • danielle

    for me, this pic just screams “help, help, I’ve fallen and I can’t get up!” (originally spoken in a cranky-old-lady voice)

  • SO FUNNY! – You’re posts were great today!


  • Oh ditto!! I was laughing so hard I coughed up blood.

  • Ack! You wore it! I feel like such a celebrity! It looks great with your lovely new hair!

  • Your mom is a trip! I couldn’t stop laughing reading that post. Chuck has a cute tushy.

  • George

    You’re right, I was just seeing if she would post my shitty pictures. And Jon did ask later on in the night if anyone had taken a picture, you can thank me later.

    I know I have no picture taking talent, it just felt good to mess with such a good camera.

  • I am very against posting off-topic on this page, because it’s all about my Leta Frog…

    But George, thank you for capturing the insane pizza. When I ordered it, the guy on the phone was like, “Dude, you don’t want the 23 incher.” And I was like, “Dude, do you know what happened when I married my wife? The maelstrom convergence has caused massive ripples in the space-time continuum. The pizza HAS NO CHOICE BUT TO BE ORDERED.”

    I was entirely sober when I ordered the pizza, despite 3.5L of booze parked next to the pizza.

    George, it wouldn’t have been the same without you. The pizza wouldn’t have been the same. It’s feeding Leta and Chuck for the next few weeks.

  • In that first picture of Heather and Leta, Leta’s all like, “What the fuck are these fuckers doing? Fuckers.” SHE’S PERFECT!

  • OMG Heather. If my kid wakes up because of me laughing at that last picture of Chuck I’m going to be so pissed off at you. Must… contain…
    ah fuck it. HAHAHahahahahAHHAHA HAHA AHAAAA

    (If he wakes up I’m sending him over to your house with his rod and reel and he can stay up half the night jumping on YOUR chenille couch/boat.)

  • mrs. george #2

    I love George. In his infinite hottie wisdom he chose to photograph Chuck’s ass and the Big-Mother-Fucking-Pizza. It’s all about personal decisions, and George is no John Kerry when it comes to making a committment to his decisions. Go George (the Mormon, not the Texan).

  • George!

    Love the beard.

    And, hey, lay off the guy and his undeveloped eye for stellar photography! The boy just needs practice.

  • Washingtonienne

    More snaps from the office party please. Especially of that guy in the background sitting on the floor of what looks like an empty office. Some party, hey? Also, I like how the Google ads have suddenly turned all christian and loving, as if to warn that someone is not quite on the right path to salvation. I suspect they are a response to the unholy size of that pizza. God does not have a pizza oven that wide, and is warning people prior to their ascent. Or perhaps he’s simply saying that you’ll never make the ascent if you’re carrying that much cheese around your waist. Yes, that must be it. The Christian God is a gnarly desert-rat surviving on biscuits and water. (BTW, are mouse and cat two of the 9 barn animals?) So that’s the mystery of the Google Ads revealed. A bit of divination and hermeneutics on a day when anything and everything will be called upon to predict the outcome in the fight between moderately good and unspeakably evil.

  • Is it wrong that that totally makes me laugh? I am mean.

  • kim

    thank you heather, thank you. this is why i love to come here for my daily dose of smiles: “chuck’s ass the focal point of the shot”? i love it. thank you!! and what are the white things in the pizza? they look like plastic..??

  • George is wearing a Kentucky shirt (one I’m assuming is a UK shirt), that means George is only the most awesome person alive at this very second. I’m officially a George fan.

  • George

    I love my favorite cousin Leta Frog Armstong. Just thought I’d get back on topic.

  • Lovin’ the George!

  • mrs. george #2

    ditto. i heart george. (leta, too!)

  • Sue From Ohio

    Dooce, I love that picture of you and Leta. You look like you’re saying, ‘Show me to your liquor cabinet’. And Leta is saying, ‘Yeah, that’s right. You better show her to the liquor cabinet or I’m gonna sqwak at ya!’

    …and one last thing, ‘GEORGE, GEORGE, GEORGE!’

  • Susan (Lady Mystic)

    First time posting here, but I’ve been addicted to your site for a couple months now…

    Leta is so adorable in that froggy costume! Those baby feet look so scrumptious!

    And as if you haven’t heard it a million times before, you and Jon take very skilled and beautiful photographs.

    On another note, your “Performance Anxiety” entry has me cracking up. I read it ten minutes ago and I can’t stop laughing!

  • Melissa

    Heather, I totally love you. I have been having the most miserable and depressing day and seeing the photoshop dressed Chuck photos has literally changed my mood. God I love that dog! You’re the best. Thanks for cheering me up.

  • I’m sorry, but did I see Leta standing in the photo your friend took of the living room? It sure looks like a Leta Frog is standing in the background holding something. If so, this is big news to me. Yeah, Leta! And yes, my ovaries are sore from being “hit with a cute hammer.”

  • Leta makes the cutest little frog and in that first picture of your post today you both have matching pissy faces – how damn fucking cute! Feel free to hit me w/ the cute hammer all day long. It feels gooood…

  • oh yeah – i’m off to vote 🙂 – for BUSH! Just kidding now….More cute frog baby pictures please.

  • I think next Halloween, Leta should definately be a turtle. She already has the “stuck on her back” thing down. :o)

  • The socks make the photo. Without a doubt.

  • LT

    this is bad. I should be posting about Leta, but I can’t stop wanting to throw a lot of love notes George’s way. Maybe I should go back to talking about science?

  • tiny

    that really made me giggle. it still makes me giggle.

    i’m still giggling.

  • Lisa

    Ditto to Annette’s comment: Go George, go Wildcats! (Although we’ve had a terrible football season, basketball is just around the corner….)

    Many hugs to Leta and Chuck.

  • Chuck is truly a furry person. Cute ass, too.

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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