the smell of my desperation has become a stench


  • brian

    2004/11/02 at 8:58 am

    My friend PDiddy told me to vote, so I did.

    And in Cincinnati Ohio, the center of all that is contraversial, it’s a big one.

    I’ll support whomever wins. Hopefully it’s the best candidate. I love democracy.

  • Lacy

    2004/11/02 at 8:59 am

    Totally unrelated to voting … my officemates and I are total dooce-a-holics and think it would be a cool to have a calenderish type of photo archive page – with the small thumbnails visible? or maybe the thumbnail of the next and previous pictures up there with the buttons?

    I’d love to see a thumbnail of the “limp dick” windshield wiper blade …. 😉

  • Lisa

    2004/11/02 at 9:04 am

    I voted in Lexington, KY today, before the rain hit. I was the 283rd voter in my precinct, which was good. The election officer said that many of the people she normally sees in the afternoon actually came in the early morning: another good thing because now it’s raining cats and dogs, which is likely to keep a lot of folks away from the polls, sadly enough. If you Lexingtonians take your sticker to Sqecial Media, you can get 20% off of anything. (I don’t work there.) In addition to voting in the presidential election, I voted against the amendment seeking to define marriage, or ban gay marriage.

    Many hugs to Leta and Chuck.

  • Isis

    2004/11/02 at 9:07 am

    I also did not get a sticker, and I was a little peeved. So I made my own. You can download ’em in PDF format and print them on self-stick label sheets in your printer.

    That is, if you’re geeky enough to have self-stick label sheet lying around the house.

    They come in two flavors — the standard ‘I Voted!’ and the peeved ‘I Voted! (And I didn’t even get a lousy sticker)’ varieties.

  • Ellewiz

    2004/11/02 at 9:08 am

    Leta voted? Isn’t that, well, kinda illegal?

    I’m glad you didn’t get arrested like the press photographer in Florida taking photos of people waiting in line to vote!

  • Michelle in San Diego

    2004/11/02 at 9:11 am

    Well– I’m on my way to vote and I live in the darkest blue state imaginable down here in the lala land that is southern california and it is another absolutely perfect day.

    I think today is a beautiful day to elect a new president. In fact, I’ll bet you that is true even in places where it isn’t 70 degrees all year round.

    I too did a dance this morning and I would even do it in public.


  • lily

    2004/11/02 at 9:11 am

    hey i’m in TX but i still voted for Kerry but i didnt get a sticker! where’s my sticker!

    LOL 🙂 “I’ve never been so nervous in all my adult days. I couldn’t stop farting in the booth, which made me laugh. I was a laughing, farting, Kerry-votin’ machine.”

  • canada girl

    2004/11/02 at 9:12 am

    Question: so is the winner determined by how many “states” they win? not by individual votes? that seems odd to me.

    not that canada is any less bizarre…we don’t even vote directly for our prime minister. we vote for our local member of parliament, and whoever wins in each local riding gets a seat in parliament. whichever party gets the majority of seats has their party leader as the new prime minister (right now we don’t have a majority government, which is quite nice…lots of different opinions heard at once).

  • Cristina

    2004/11/02 at 9:13 am

    I will be going after work. I will be one of the few people going red in a blue state. Oh well I’m still going to get out and vote.

  • Amanda B.

    2004/11/02 at 9:16 am

    Yeah, apparently P.Diddy will pop a cap in yo ass if you don’t vote. And he’s been running marathons lately, so he’s not only wiley but FAST!

    Thanks Brian for being a nice calm voice in the midst of all the chaos!

  • Frank

    2004/11/02 at 9:17 am

    On this election day, a few quotes from great men of history:

    “Free speech exercised both individually and
    through a free press, is a necessity in any
    country where people are themselves free.”
    — Theodore Roosevelt, 1918

    “The truth is found when men are free to pursue it.”
    — Franklin D. Roosevelt, 1936

    “Any time we deny any citizen the full exercise of
    his constitutional rights, we are weakening our
    own claim to them.”
    — Dwight David Eisenhower, 1963

    “What is objectionable, what is dangerous about
    extremists is not that they are extreme, but that
    they are intolerant.”
    — Robert F. Kennedy, 1964

    “Go fuck yourself.”
    — Dick Cheney, 2004

  • Liisa

    2004/11/02 at 9:19 am

    It’s really not going to matter who wins because it’s so split down the middle we are going to endure another four years of a great number of battles among the people of this country. UNITED States, indeed. (yes, I know it’s always been that way and always will be…I guess I should be glad we are allowed to disagree without penalty of death.)
    On that sour note…here’s an even more sour one. I think what George was trying to capture in the picture of ‘everything’ was not Chuck’s ass, but Heather sitting CROSS-LEGGED ON THE FLOOR IN JEANS! HOW DARE YOU! I bet they were not even stretch denim! I imagine you are one of those people that can rise from a full-blown floor sit without using the coffee table to propel yourself up, Eh? No getting up with one knee firmly planted on the ground for you, eh? Oh, you skinny wench!I still like you, but a heck of a lot less than most people I know that have given pregnancy a go and came out fit afterwards. Have you no shame? Cross-legged on the floor in….
    Harumph! Go eat a cake. And a batter-dipped ham. And buttered bacon.
    Thank you for your time and have a nice day.

  • kim

    2004/11/02 at 9:23 am

    How exciting it is to see so many democrat voters in Texas. Strange that they are all in one place –!

    I’m in Dallas proper and am effin amazed at the voter turnout in Dallas, Collin and Tarrant Counties! Maybe it IS a good omen!

    (oh, and my dad lives in the flight path of the jets who patrol the sky when he is at his little ranch… dad is in Meridian where are you? )

  • Catherine

    2004/11/02 at 9:25 am

    There once was a man from Nantucket. Or at least he had a summer house there. You should vote for him because in our life time people still die every day for that right. Let your voice be heard.
    America – FUCK YEAH!

  • Lisa

    2004/11/02 at 9:26 am

    Another random thought because I am grading papers and would rather be reading Dooce and thinking up ways to get more people to the polls. There should be petting zoos near the polls, a donkey and an elephant, both available for rides (if one doesn’t believe that’s abusive). I bet more folks would come out if that were the case. Not that Dooce readers need the incentive, thank goodness.

  • Shmee

    2004/11/02 at 9:37 am

    Not that I want to influence anyone or anything, but for global vote’s virtual election (, more than 100,000 non-Americans voted 77% in favour of Kerry. Interesting huh? Doesn’t look like the media picked this up though.

    Many of us here in Canada will be glued to the television tonight (actually, tonight I’m doing a seminar at the local college on ethics…kind of ironic).

  • justduckie

    2004/11/02 at 9:38 am

    Glad you voted, Utah needs all the help it can get!

    I work at an engineering firm, and while reseraching state departments of transportation… I found this on the Utah site:

    “Procurement Contracts

    From here you will find all purchasing contracts for UDOT. Bla bla bla. Ipsum dipsum elo bralo. Ipsum dipsum elo bralo ipsum dipsum elo bralo. Ipsum dipsum elo bralo ipsum dipsum elo bralo. Ipsum dipsum elo bralo ipsum dipsum elo bralo.”

    That’s not even a language, is it?

  • Ada

    2004/11/02 at 9:43 am

    I’ll be voting for the first time in a few hours… it pays to turn 18 a month before election day… viva bush!

  • Susie

    2004/11/02 at 9:45 am

    Why, thank you, Christine! How kind of you. I have never had the national anthem played in my honor before. I’m likin’ it!! Feel like an Olympic gold medalist, just for voting!!

    See, voting is good. Go vote, everyone!

  • Danika

    2004/11/02 at 9:46 am

    *crossing fingers and toes and legs and arms and.. * you get the point. PLEASE let the era of Bush be ended!!!!

    I WISH I could vote in your election! (I did vote on that link someone posted not long ago for non-americans to vote online)

  • Lori

    2004/11/02 at 9:46 am

    I’ve been singing patriotic songs in my head and I got a little misty eyed at the line by the election booths this morning.

    Blue in a blue state, phew.

  • Shmee

    2004/11/02 at 9:48 am

    Re: Liisa (#112). Ditto, ditto, ditto. I was wondering the same thing myself (I mean the part about dooce cross-legged on the floor). Harrumph indeed.

  • Jodi

    2004/11/02 at 9:51 am

    I voted Kerry in the small unknown state of South Dakota.

    I doubt either candidate cares how we vote but SOMEDAY we will be important! SOMEDAY! 😉

  • Marie

    2004/11/02 at 9:51 am

    i grew up in dallas but now live in the ‘burbs of houston (*sigh*)…seems to be a LOT of bush support down here, of course….i remember reading somewhere last week that the dallas morning news endorsed bush….is that true? wtf?

  • krissy pants

    2004/11/02 at 9:52 am

    Go Jodi! Your vote counts…from a former South Dakotan.

  • Elizabeth

    2004/11/02 at 9:55 am

    My dog and I voted this morning and then I went to the dentist. Luckily, we live in the dark ages out here in Massachusetts, so our ballots involve taking a PENCIL and writing an “X” next to the person you want to vote for. Kinda hard to mess that up. 😉 Still, I was SO focused on who I was voting for, that I messed up and had to get a new ballot! Which, since it’s just a pencil and an “X”, was not a big deal.

  • Karen

    2004/11/02 at 9:55 am

    I voted back on October 20th — reason? I bought Fahrenheit 911 the night before, and decided that I couldn’t wait until November 2nd to cast my vote — even though here in Texas (as so many before me have said), my vote doesn’t count!

    Incidentally, the candidates don’t seem to think that Kerry votes in Texas count either — I haven’t seen one Presidential ad on local television here in Houston. I would laugh my ass off if Kerry takes this state. I seriously would. I’d be assless. And trust me, I have a helluva lot of ass to laugh off.

  • Fish

    2004/11/02 at 9:56 am

    As a citizen of a state that’s neither red nor blue, but more importantly as a citizen of the United States, I’m proud to say that I Voted.

  • Laura

    2004/11/02 at 9:58 am

    This is my first election (I’m freshly 19), I voted and I couldn’t be more excited. And scared. haha. Love the site, love Leta, love Chuck, love the whole kit-and-pooping-caboodle.

  • Kevin

    2004/11/02 at 10:00 am

    Red vote in a red state 20 minutes after the polls open(8:00) gets me a sticker.

  • Kristina

    2004/11/02 at 10:05 am

    I’m leaving to vote in 10 minutes. Voting blue in a blue state (Illinois–that’s not as fun as voting blue in a red state). I’m terrified, but GO KERRY!

  • patti

    2004/11/02 at 10:07 am

    The place where I voted didn’t have the punch-card style ballots, it has arrows, and you had to draw a line with a marker to connect the arrow near the choice you wanted. I had never seen this before, so I asked for help from one of the ol’ ladies, and she told me THREE TIMES to draw a line “here” if I want to vote straight party ( she pointed at the REPUBLICAN choice THREE TIMES)I should have told her I was going straight Libertarian, but my son was with me and I did not want to cause a scene, plus I voted for Kerry, and I didn’t want to lie in a church!

  • blue voter

    2004/11/02 at 10:10 am

    the other day through work I spoke with a red voter in a red state (GA) who said and I quote, “…President Bush has done a good job in difficult times…” to which I WANTED to SCREAM, “President Bush has done a good job at CREATING difficult times!” But, since it was a work call and I work for the Federal Govt., I could not. But, I can vote Blue, and I did.


  • Louise

    2004/11/02 at 10:11 am

    Kim-I voted in Texas (Tarrant Co.)but never said it was a democratic vote. Either way I will support the whiner-err winner, whatever the outcome.
    And I did not get a sticker.:(
    Dooce For President 2008. Let’s start campaigning now!

  • Becky

    2004/11/02 at 10:12 am

    I just cast a vote for the two Johns, here on the beautiful UC Santa Cruz campus in non-swinging, but very happening California. I saw lots of students up early and voting, which is a good sign. Or maybe they hadn’t been to bed.

  • Jenny Mahler

    2004/11/02 at 10:17 am

    I, too, just voted. I, too, woke up electrified! I had all these weird voting nightmares last night – all involving people trying to make it hard for me to get to the voting booths, and vote for John Kerry. But luckily, I was able to do just that. 🙂

  • Becca

    2004/11/02 at 10:29 am

    If someone doesn’t go vote today, they shouldn’t be a citizen.

  • Han

    2004/11/02 at 10:32 am

    Britain is crossing its fingers for you! (well I am anyway) My friends and I are staying up, getting really drunk and waiting for the ‘result’ all night.
    I know you’d be proud 😉

  • gji7

    2004/11/02 at 10:32 am

    I voted and got my sticker! Then I happily turned my sticker over to the best bagel company in town to get my free “I voted” bagel.

    What a great morning!

  • Kellie

    2004/11/02 at 10:32 am

    I voted at 7:10 this morning, and I am proudly wearing my “I Voted” sticker, right above my “W For President” sticker. Like Brian said, I will support whoever wins. But I am hoping for a Bush/Cheney victory.

    I just hope all of this is over TONIGHT!!

  • Sherri

    2004/11/02 at 10:38 am

    I voted! However, I’m convinced there was some illegal voting going on at my location (mainly because their system of signing people in was crummy). I’ve tried calling the Board of Eelctions and the NBC hotline, but haven’t been able to get though all day.

    So if Brooklyn becomes this year’s Florida, dont’ say I didn’t warn you here first.

  • Chloe

    2004/11/02 at 10:38 am

    I was also oddly excited all day today to go and vote. I totally feel ripped off, though. I want a sticker! My brother got a sticker. Where’s my sticker?! I was sort of surprised how anticlimatic it was though. There was no line at all. I had this huge book, and there was no one there… maybe you have to wait in line for sticker?
    Also, George: cool car. And what instincts– the internet needed a picture of Chuck’s butt. Then again, maybe not.

  • Elise

    2004/11/02 at 10:39 am

    I just noticed with a chuckle that Google is running an ad for the Mormon church on this site.

  • manda

    2004/11/02 at 10:41 am

    I voted.
    I’m not so much into politics, but since I live in Florida and we’re a swing state, we’ve been bombarded by gazillions of campaign ads. Do another re-count. Take all the time you need. Just, PLEASE NO MORE CAMPAIGN ADS!!!!

  • Sherri

    2004/11/02 at 10:47 am

    *cry* I didn’t get an “I Voted” sticker.

    How much of a nerd am I that I saved my “I Voted” sticker from the very first time I ever voted?

  • Sari

    2004/11/02 at 10:51 am

    Your photo proves it! Voting turns you into a super-sized hero!

    Only two hours (plus waiting-in-line time) until I get my coveted sticker!

  • mrs. george #2

    2004/11/02 at 10:56 am

    I voted in Texas, got my sticker, and dammit it COUNTS. Just look at all the folks on here alone who said their Texas vote “doesn’t count”. I’ll bet if all the Texans who stayed home today because they thought they’re vote didn’t matter had gotten off their lazy asses and to the polls, Bush would have been out of office by noon.

    Vote! Or else you’re a baby-murdering pagan.

  • Fujiko

    2004/11/02 at 10:57 am

    I voted blue in a red state on Friday, and I didn’t get a sticker, either. But it was my first vote ever. I was born a month too late to vote last time.

    For all of the Canadians and other foreigners: The outcome of the election isn’t decided by the popular vote, it’s decided by the electoral college. The electoral college is made up of all 100 senators and all 400-some representatives in congress. Whichever candidate a state votes for the most (i.e., in North Dakota, Bush will probably have the most votes), that state’s Senators and Congresspeople will vote for that candidate. That is why there are “swing states”; most states usually have one party outnumbering another, and it is highly unlikely that the party’s candidate will lose. Like, my state is full of old hicks, so they will all vote for Bush, and so North Dakota’s three electoral college votes will go to Bush. But in those swing states, the popular vote could go either way, so the candidates campaign there more so that they might get more electoral college votes. Whoever gets 270 (or is it 271? the majority, anyway) electoral college votes wins.

    I have no idea why the system is set up like this. It really makes no sense to me. Why can’t we just decide from the popular vote? Then I would really feel like my vote counts!

  • Jodie

    2004/11/02 at 10:59 am

    I am extremely blue in an extremely red Western Oklahoma. I work for an oilfield company that competes against Halliburton for business, and it’s the middle of hunting season. Talk about a scary place!

    If Dr. Seuss was alive, I’m sure he’d be drawing some of the best Democratic cartoons we’ve ever seen. Shortly before his death in 1991, he answered a question from his future biographers—whether he still had any message for his readers–in writing:
    “The best slogan I can think of to leave with the U. S. A. would be: “We can…and we’ve got to…do better than this.”‘

    Go Kerry! We can do better than this!

  • Olivia

    2004/11/02 at 11:00 am

    It’s so great to see kids in the voting booths with their parents- it’s a good thing to teach them about it.

    I saw the best thing this morning when I voted (woohoo!)- this woman, wearing her pajamas, had her 4 children and dog with her. She brought them all in the booth with her- including the dog. I wanted to run up and hug her, because obviously nothing was going to stand in her way when it came to voting. Way to go pajama voting lady- when I do my retarded chicken dance, I will think of you.

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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