the smell of my desperation has become a stench

Angels are coming to visit the earth

This morning in the Armstrong household we celebrated the Mormon Hymnal Recitation Bonanza. It sounds pretty fancy, I know, I know, but really, I hate to get you all excited because all it entailed was Leta sitting in the highchair staring blankly at me as I shouted “The Spirit of God Like a Fire is Burning” and Jon hunched over the counter about to fall over from his cold and sinus infection. I thought a little “WE’ll SING AND WE’LL SHOUT! Like the arr–arrr meees of hea aaaa aaaa ven, HOSANNA!” might brighten the mood a little bit.

I was wrong.

When I got to the part at the end of the song where it goes, “Henceforth and forever, AMEN AND AMEN,” Chuck started jumping up on me, as if that were a signal for treats. HOSANNA! Treats! Treats are coming!

And I was like, “Stupid dog. THE LORD IS COMING.”

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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