the smell of my desperation has become a stench

Project Outburst

Just this morning I had a dream that I was walking down the runway on “America’s Next Top Model” and Heidi Klum was whispering something nasty about me to Tyra Banks and I shouted, from the runway and out loud into the bedroom, “SAY IT TO MY FACE, BITCH.” Jon woke abruptly and said, “Heather, are you okay?” And at that moment I realized it was just a dream (phew!) and that it was Christmas Eve, so I said, “SAY IT TO MY FACE, Lovely Sister Peace on Earth.”

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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