An unfiltered fire hose of flaming condemnation

Chucknuts roasting on an open fire

  • Laura C.

    Merry, merry, merry super happy!

  • Merry Funky Christmas! Cheers! Love,
    Long time fan!

  • jo

    I swear that Chuck needs his own television program. That face tells a thousand stories. Of course most involve give me that Pop Tart, but still.
    Merry Christmas.

  • Merry fucking belated Christmas, everybody!

  • sophie

    Chloe, bitter much?

  • Michelle Brady

    Thanks for pointing that out, Mrs. DoF.

    That’s so weird… yesterday, on my husband’s laptop, the comments weren’t numbered. I’m completely freaked out now.

    I hope everybody had a Merry Christmas, if Christmas is your bag. If not, then happy everything!

  • Merry Christmas Jon, Heather, Leta, and Chuck!

    -from boston’s biggest DOOCE fan 🙂

  • Bluedevil

    Michelle, they don’t number when I’m on my work computer either. I’m sure I could figure out why if I applied my brain to it, but I don’t care that much. Lookit Chuck!

  • Kelly

    Last, last!! Could it be that I’m really last??!! Merry Christmas, everyone! Remember to sing “Happy Birthday, Dear Jesus” today… I certainly have been.


  • Kelly

    Whoops, I meant sing it yesterday… I’ve lost a day.

  • Sorry Kelly. You’re not last. And I won’t be last either. That’s just the way the world works.

  • blairrrrr


  • Sorry Blairrrr. You’re not last. And I won’t be either. That’s just the way the world works.

    And now I will go get a life.

  • Merry Christmas (a little late, but whatev…)

  • so glad the whole thing is over–on to 2005.

  • Darcie

    In today’s Washington Post:

    Great Moments in Religion, 2004

    Archaeologists excitedly announced that they had discovered, in ruins on the Wittenberg, Germany, property of 16th Century philosopher Martin Luther, the actual stone toilet on which he often sat while composing the manifesto that launced the Reformation. (Luther stuffered from severe, chronic constipation, to which he frequently alluded.)
    –Daily Telegraph (London) Oct. 22

  • Thats a cute dog.What breed is he? My 3 Heinz 57’s were cute 1 time. But now their just my 3 loveable sons. One’s 70 lbs,50 lbs and 25 lbs. They get along with my 2 manx-siamese cats[the bosses] My first time here but not my last. Merry Christmas n a Happy NewYear. Fa,la,la,la,la,, la, la ,la.

  • *LOL*

    Ahh… that poor fuckin’ dog. I think I’d better go torture mine a little bit. {evil grin}

  • GMM

    Doesn’t he look like a noble steed?

  • ok, which one of us is gonna go in and rescue that poor defenseless dog. he does suffer a certain degree of humiliation at holiday time. what will he be made to do come valentine’s day? let’s wait and see. and then dammit, someone’s gotta bite the bullet and go in after him.

  • Chuck is SO cute! I want to know if he tries to fight you when you’re dressing him. Go Chuck!


    The “George” wasn’t, by some freaky chance, in Dallas this weekend, was he? My hubby and I were at the Best Buy and this guy walked by that I SWEAR was George. I almost took a picture of him to send you, but the husband took the camera away from me! Mean hubby!

  • happy holidays, heather, jon, leta & chucknuts! MWAH!

  • Bill

    Happy Boxing Day from Houston! Hey, you guys missed all the snow. Next blizzard: 2090. See you then!


  • Anonymous

    Any new posts yet that I’m just not loading for some reason?? I need my daily fix of Dooce!!!

  • Liv

    Ohmigod! We ALWAYS did that to my dog! We used to take him out for walks with them on and all the cars honked at him!

  • poor. dog.

    omg! someone actually sent you those emails??!! omfg! thats funny!


    heres the # of that bitch that you talk about on the front page, apparently she is looking for a job too.

  • RosebudPeas

    Oh, she’s in for it now. Awesome. What a jackass.

  • I will never get sik of that damn dog.

  • Pissed Off and Surprised Like a MoFo

    WTF is Debbie Jean Niemeyer of 634 Kettle Creek Road in Grovetown, GA (zip code 30813), phone number 443-857-5526, alternate email address ‘s problem with Heather?

    Gosh, I hope no one hires her as their nanny. She sounds horribly mean and nasty.

    She should’ve sent her nasty gram anonymously via Remailer, lmao. Now she’s gonna get it.

  • When did you make fun of Turkish people? I’m confused.

  • I love Chuck! He looks so smooth and intelligent. My mom even asks about Chuck and Leta, whom she calls “the frog”, now.

    Anyway, I can’t believe people send Dooce emails like that. Coocoo!

  • Nick, I found that too. You’d think that if she were going to send Dooce hateful (unsolicited) e-mail she would use an ANONYMOUS address so that we couldn’t find her portfolio and full name within 30 seconds. Maybe someone should send her an e-mail that says “your work does not even slightly resemble graphic design, and I mean that in a REALLY bad way.”

    Don’t worry Dooce, we’ve got your back.

  • George Lover

    If she was able to write a coherent email it might not be so pathetic. Either way, it’s just mean, mean, mean. She needs to channel her post-Christmas blues SOMEWHERE ELSE.

  • She spelled “their” as “thier”

  • I also don’t recall ever reading anything bad here about the Turks. Has Heather said anything bad about Turks?

  • dude. seriously. you ain’t all that debbie jean. i wouldn’t let your freaky eyebrow havin ass nanny my kid.

  • Interesting … Debbie Niemeyer’s portfolio started bringing up 404s as I was perusing her lack of talent. Wonder if her bandwidth allocation got exceeded. Wonder if it’s costing her money.

  • George Lover

    And, I hope anyone who is considering her as a nanny isn’t interested in literate children because her job solicitation or whatever it’s called is also fraught with typos. “Gandar”? Isn’t that some character from “Lord of the Rings”?

  • Why did Constantinople get the works?
    That’s nobody’s business but the Turks…

  • COOL! Her shitty web site now no longer works. Looks like too many hundreds of people tried to get in there at once. I wonder how long it will take her to realize that she brought this all upon herself?!?!?

  • I think this is the post that mean-spirited, crappy-designing, aspiring nanny took such offence to:

  • George Lover

    From almost three months ago? Way to be current.

    Oh, yeah, and Heather, that negative comment you made a year ago about Jennifer Garner’s pleated pants? Take it back. (Just kidding.)

  • Katy

    Looks like Debbie Niemeyer can teach your kids how to spell negotiate – n-e-g-o-c-i-a-t-e. Is that how they spell it in Turkey?

  • I have a REALLY good idea… since Dooce doesn’t have a daily photo for today, I think a left-click and “save as” on Debbie Niemeyer’s photo is in order. A little Gaussain Blur, adjust the color balanca and voila! The perfect daily photo. Dooce can call it “Illiterate Miami Nanny”.

  • Oh well. I hate that this chick felt that she had to call you names and insult you. You can’t please every damn body. Fuck her.

    I’ve think that for every genuine person, there are 4 that don’t give a fuck. They are the ones missing out.

    And you are beautiful. I’m not gay, but if I was, I’d be a lesbian. What?

    Much love bebe.

  • maura

    I dont post all that often but wanted to put in my 2 cents. Those of you that have such a big problem with dooce, then why the hell to you read the site? just move on!! I sure hope she gets bombarded with nasty emails and phone calls herself!! You surely deserve it hon!!

    Heather ~ you know we all love ya’


  • consider her hate mail sent

  • damn that stupid turk! she disconnected her phone! (or maybe couldn’t read it in the superior language of english to know the pay date and it was shut off)

  • totally kidding about english of course.

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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