the smell of my desperation has become a stench

Femelist 2004

Instead of doing a typical year-end review of things — I had a baby, and then I got really sad and angry, and then I ended up in a psyche ward, and now the baby has teeth, it was a good year — I thought I would open up a post about the women on the Internet who have touched my life.

Most of the year-end reviews I have read include a whole bunch of links to men and their websites and then more men and then more men. It’s not that I don’t think men contribute a whole stinking bunch to this wonderful place, I just think it’s time to REPRESENT, ladies. We are writing, we are designing, we are setting standards. We are uniting, we are building communities, we are giving the world a more friendly, more empathic, more beautiful voice.

Here is just a small list of the women who have helped me survive this year:

Heather Powazek Champ
Gail Armstrong
Claire Robertson
Margaret Mason
Sarah Brown
Mrs. Kennedy
Mimi Smartypants
Sarah Hepola
Melissa S.
No Title Yet
Juliet Martinez
Tracie Masek
My Lovely Beth
French Toast Girl
Old Hag

Please feel free to post a link in the comments to the women you feel have contributed to this whole wonderful Inter-world: Designers, writers, crafters, mothers, sisters, friends, lovers, photographers, editors, painters, illustrators, geeks, nerds, dog and cat owners.

Happy New Year, Ladies. Thank you for sharing your lives with me. It’s good to be alive.

  • wixlet

    2004/12/31 at 9:04 am

    i heart joolie at that girl always starts me t’thinkin’.

  • Leslie

    2004/12/31 at 9:05 am

    Samantha –

    She is a very dear friend of mine. And I would go nuts if I could not chat with her daily.

  • Kari

    2004/12/31 at 9:07 am

    That’s a great post. I’m excited to check out all the blogs listed here.

    I visit these two regularly

    Plus I love QueSeraSera & Fussy.

  • Michelle

    2004/12/31 at 9:08 am

    Sars at Tomato Nation – – never fails to make me laugh, and also gives me an outlet for my crazy-cat-lady-ness: when she writes stories about her two cats I always think, in between snorfling madly: “thank god I’m not the only one.”

    Pamie at makes me laugh too; she’s getting married today and deserves all the happiness in the world. Michael Moore once told her she was a good person, and he was right.

    Gina at is smart and tough and funny and sweet and if she didn’t already have a girlfriend I’d consider being her internet stalker. In the nicest way possible.

    My very good friend Eve needs to update her blog more often. With more cute dog pictures! .

    And, Heather, your blog’s been an amazing read all year long. I know I speak for many when I say that we (selfishly, unabashedly!) hope you never stop… there’d be less funny on the internet, and also fewer terrifying yet highly educational stories of new motherhood… and that would be a bad thing.

  • Thel

    2004/12/31 at 9:10 am

    Flea at
    is a daily must-check for me. Why? Writing like this, of course, from

    “I heard on the radio this morning that the whole Festivus thing is starting to take off. Really? Are there really people wrestling around an aluminum pole in the living room? Why do these people not live on my block? I’m surrounded by all those ridiculous inflatable snowmen that lie there lifeless and deflated in the daylight, turning our neighborhood into one big episode of Law and Order: North Pole.”

  • D.

    2004/12/31 at 9:10 am

    I nominate Rivka, at Respectful of Otters:

  • Sherri

    2004/12/31 at 9:12 am
  • Amy

    2004/12/31 at 9:12 am

    Well, besides the ones that have already been mentioned, I’d have to say that these blogs make my day!:

    Thanks for putting into words what I’ve been subconsciously feeling about this community of women for the past few years!

    RAWK!!! Keep it up, my friends!!

  • Stacey

    2004/12/31 at 9:14 am

    The baby crew:


    All these women rock, I love em all.

  • Anna

    2004/12/31 at 9:20 am

    There’s already been some overlap, of course, but here’s the ones I’ve not seen mentioned yet…

    Christine Castro:
    Lisa Schmeiser:
    Audra Williams:
    Wendy McClure:

    There are some people on my LJ friends list who I have grown to admire and love in a way… They don’t write the most moving or world-relevant things but they are lovely people who are growing up and getting there.

    And of course, I love Heather.

  • Danielle

    2004/12/31 at 9:26 am

    Sara Donati is my favorite author (historical fiction).
    She also has a blog where she is very open about her writing process.

  • Beardedman

    2004/12/31 at 9:29 am

    My girl LoxyFady at:

  • AuntieClio

    2004/12/31 at 9:32 am

    Birdie at Beauty Dish has already been mentioned, but I gotta give props to My Friend SisterR who is amazing in her own right, and alas, blogless. I also gotta give props to my sister (in-law) who keeps me laughing.

  • Dale Cruse

    2004/12/31 at 9:38 am

    I don’t know anyone (male or female) who writes as many consistently readable personal observations as our very own Heather Armstrong.

    But no woman has had more of an impact on my life in 2004 than Courtney at:

  • Old Hag

    2004/12/31 at 9:44 am

    Wow! A link from the mighty Dooce! I AM SPEECHLESS.

    I would be remiss if I didn’t mention these women: (of course) (monthly authorly updates) (your admirer DanaStevensakaLizPenn’s brilliant film essays) (Carrie Anne Frye’s equally brill lit and life moments)

  • Holly

    2004/12/31 at 9:50 am

    I was introduced to your site a few months ago and I visit daily. You put a smile on my face and sometimes terror in my heart. I mean that in the most desperately of nice ways, honest. I just started my own blog actually.

    Anyhoo, I’d like to give thanks for my friend Lauren She’s been my online galpal for about 6 yrs now. Without her, I don’t think I could have made it sometimes.

  • Leon

    2004/12/31 at 9:50 am

    Dooce and DJ Blurb;

    Thank you


    For candidly sharing your lives
    For providing others with the affirmation that you can have a sense of humor about everything
    For your wit and perspective
    For the immense effort you make everyday to keep these dog and pony shows rolling

    I honestly had never paid Blogs any attention. Until this year. Any Blog now that I read, I’ve found as a result of you guys.

    Happy New Year Armstrongs. Thanks again.

  • sweetney

    2004/12/31 at 9:52 am

    beth, natch

    but i’d also like to give a shout-out to the lesser-known
    — my friend claire, who is always an interesting and amusing read.

  • Poppy

    2004/12/31 at 9:55 am

    Fluid Pudding –
    Welfare Queen –
    Cranky Mommy’s Rant Site –
    Jodi –
    And several others that have already been represented.

    Thanks for sharing this tough year, Heather. My daughter’s two weeks younger than Leta and we went through so much of the same stuff. You helped me get through.

  • Old Hag

    2004/12/31 at 9:55 am

    Also, I just wanted to say that you were a great help to me this summer when I was also doing the great drug switcheroo. (And by “great”, I actually mean “soul-sucking and debilitating”. ) Without you and Jerod Poore at, I would have been lost. (He is not a woman, but he can be an honorary one if he likes.) So happy New Year to you and your beautiful family!

  • Sue

    2004/12/31 at 10:02 am
  • Chantal

    2004/12/31 at 10:02 am

    Some of my favourite chicks on the ‘net:

    Cecily –

    Sarah –

    Margaret Cho –

    …and of course, let’s not forget that chicks can sometimes piss you off, but are good for a chuckle:

    Prada Princess –

    Happy New Year!

  • Heather

    2004/12/31 at 10:03 am

    I’m glad you have Sarah Brown on that list. Without her and her rice krispy treats and our fishnet stocking excursions, I’d be a whole lot less of woman.

  • elena

    2004/12/31 at 10:09 am

    No, thank YOU for sharing a piece of yourself with us! You bring laughter to my bad days. You share your pain, and help me realize I’m not alone. You, yourself, are an inspiration to all women. So, yes, THANK YOU! And Happy New Year to you and your beauteous brood. 🙂

  • courtney

    2004/12/31 at 10:10 am

    Aw shucks, Dale…:)

    Heather, I as well want to thank you for your honesty and candid writing. No site I read regularly has the power to make me laugh out loud, cry, or get spun up about something as consistently as yours.

    Happy New Year to you, and Jon, and the Frog Princess (who, as I told you, most likely does not have autism), and Chuck (who makes me want to have a dog). Best wishes to you and those you love.

  • Shelagh McIntyre

    2004/12/31 at 10:12 am

    I have to add Julie’s site: She’s very insightful, creative, sensitive, and makes me want to be a better person.


    Happy New Year to all!

  • Shelagh McIntyre

    2004/12/31 at 10:12 am

    oh my goodness, Shy Me beat me to it!!!

  • Sarah B

    2004/12/31 at 10:14 am

    Kicking creative ass and giving back: Cinnamon Cooper of

    She’s closed up shop on the blog but has a book deal–read her archives. Kept me going all year:

  • pismire

    2004/12/31 at 10:21 am

    For some reason I am really drawn to sites by women bloggers. Here are a few that I visit every single day:

    These are three very strong women, and I enjoy their wit, creativity, and intelligence. And I bet you will too!

    Now I’ll be visiting many more women bloggers with all the great suggestions here. And thanks for the ride Dooce! Happy 2005.

  • Adam

    2004/12/31 at 10:24 am

    My wife, Mary.

    She finds you inspiring. I find her amazing.

    Peace out in ’05,


  • sam

    2004/12/31 at 10:25 am

    Leslie rocks my world. I am amazed every day by all the new and wonderful neurotic issues we can bond over:

  • Jennifer

    2004/12/31 at 10:28 am

    Most of my favorites have been covered here. But not all. My blogroll is filled about 95% full of smart, witty, beautiful, strong, vulnerable, rock-your-face-off WOMEN. And I love them all, every single one.

    But you certainly set the precedent here at

    Happy New Year’s, Heather.

  • Supa MB

    2004/12/31 at 10:30 am

    As she puts it: “Trish, 37, morning radio jock, punk rock mom, shutterbug and
    all around awesome babe.”

  • Cecily

    2004/12/31 at 10:31 am

    Wow, Chantel, thanks!

    Everyone has already listed a lot of women i admire, but I have to add Moxie at Great writer and great chick!

  • Jamie

    2004/12/31 at 10:35 am

    Heather, YOU have made a difference for me this year. I’ve never posted to you and don’t keep a blog here. But I keep you bookmarked and really enjoy lurking on a daily basis. So thanks for being here for the other ladies on the Internet. You are an absolute joy to read.

  • joanie

    2004/12/31 at 10:45 am

    my friend brandi introduced me to your blog because she knew you and i shared a mutual respect for all things potty.

    her websites, generally dealing in non-potty, are awesome. her photosite, in particular, shows some of her most amazing shots. and her journal is well written and funny…

  • joanie

    2004/12/31 at 10:46 am

    and here are brandi’s links.,

  • Alice

    2004/12/31 at 10:51 am first introduced me to the art of blogging. Heather Corinna at is a lovely person.

    Happy New Year!

  • Sunny

    2004/12/31 at 10:55 am

    Heather…thank you for sharing your life with us!! May your 2005 be filled with wonderful experiences, joy, love and fun!

  • Tricia

    2004/12/31 at 11:08 am

    GetupGrrl. Without a doubt. Oh, and you of course!

  • amandarin

    2004/12/31 at 11:11 am

    In addition to and many of the other female bloggers mentioned here, I also read http://WWW.SOLBEAM.COM religiously. Sol quit her job at in favor of traveling the world. Her writing is beautiful and her adventures are truly inspiring.

  • Bea

    2004/12/31 at 11:14 am

    I love Moxie. She has a terrific three-year-old on, and she lets us all know that not all Christians are right-wing, fire-and-brimstone loonies.

  • Bea

    2004/12/31 at 11:15 am

    Um, that’s “son,” not “on.”

  • byrneout

    2004/12/31 at 11:19 am

    More love for Mo at, who introduced me to your site. Thanks, Mo!

    I also can’t get over my old friend sweetcoalminer (, whose recent posts about her uterine struggle are astonishing in their searing honesty.

    (“Searing honesty.” I’m going to start writing book reviews.)

  • Ali

    2004/12/31 at 11:23 am

    I’m going to have to share a few fantastic female bloggers as well: – the lovely donaville – maura – rachel

  • Wilma

    2004/12/31 at 11:28 am

    Willa at and Sara at Hooray to them, AND to THE DOOCE!

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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