Prev Femelist 2004
the smell of my desperation has become a stench
Heather B. Armstrong
Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.
Kat
2005/01/01 at 6:19 amYou make me sick.
(Just kidding, happy new years!)
madison
2005/01/01 at 6:20 amwow, first?
shy
2005/01/01 at 6:20 amthat’s a scary looking thing.
Karen
2005/01/01 at 6:20 amThat is one of the scariest things I’ve ever seen.
Humbah
2005/01/01 at 6:20 amRight back atcha. Wheeeee!
Buh
2005/01/01 at 6:20 amhappy new year!!!
AM
2005/01/01 at 6:20 amBoobah?
Lisa
2005/01/01 at 6:21 amWow I’m in the top ten…
That is one scary looking um, thing, what the heck is it supposed to be anyway?!?
Fiona
2005/01/01 at 6:22 amCute! Where’s the purple one?
pao
2005/01/01 at 6:22 amthat’s a funny looking toy. what is it? happy new year, heather. 🙂 and to chuck, jon, and leta too.
maxigumee
2005/01/01 at 6:22 amOh my gosh. I saw one of those at Target yesterday. They’re creepy! 😛
Geremy F
2005/01/01 at 6:23 amThat thing scares me.
Kathleen
2005/01/01 at 6:23 amI’m not sure which is worse. That thing, or the Limbo Elmo someone gave our 2-year-old.
Annecat
2005/01/01 at 6:26 amHappy New Year Dooce – may it bring nothing but happiness to you and your family!
Pimpled penis indeed…scary 😉
Jennifer in Kansas City
2005/01/01 at 6:26 amWe were at Target yesterday & I squeezed one of those. It’s really creepy how they come up out of their little neck sac. Way too phallic. Oh well, at least you get your own, uh, time when these creatures are on tv. 😉 Happy New Year from Kansas City!
Danielle
2005/01/01 at 6:27 amHA!
Man, those eyes are something else. And the weird hands… guess they only get to have 3 semi-fingers; guess they are tridactyl.
Happy New Year to everyone!
I hope that 2005 is even better than 2004 for all of you.
August95
2005/01/01 at 6:27 amHappy New Year Everyone. Enjoy the day.
coffeegirl
2005/01/01 at 6:28 amYesterday I passed an entire aisle of those in Target, and I squeezed every single Boobah’s right hand until the whole store was filled with the Satanic sounds of Boobah. Because I’m evil like that. (insert villainous laugh) MUHUHUHUHUHAHAHA!
bushra
2005/01/01 at 6:29 amyou never where you are with the boohbahs, innit.
Dianne
2005/01/01 at 6:31 amSo that’s what BooBah looks like! You’re right it (he? she? Bueller?) looks just like a penis! LOL
Danielle
2005/01/01 at 6:32 amUnlike mickey mouse, who only has 4 fingers.
Guess Mickey is a step up from Zing Zing Zingbah.
christy
2005/01/01 at 6:32 amThat’s so sad – it has ghonorrea. What a way to start the New Year.
icexe
2005/01/01 at 6:33 amwho the hell came up with the idea of multi-colored penises that propel themselves around using farts anyway? i just knew all us kids who grew up in the 1980’s would one day get back at society with something like this.
SEK
2005/01/01 at 6:34 amMy son completely freaked out and starting crying when he saw one of those the other day, but I’m glad Leta likes it.
Happy New Year!
Colleen from NJ
2005/01/01 at 6:37 amAt first glance, I thought it was some kind of Play-Doh pleasure toy. We don’t do Boobah in this here house.
kate
2005/01/01 at 6:39 ami have a 14 month old…and i’m only too familiar with the wacky- scary-world of boombah…and the story people…
i have been brain washed…and can recite all the small catchy phrases…
soooooo scary…
look what i can do…
ffffffftttttttt…….
happy new year…
why do 14 month olds wake up so early…every morning…even the day after new year’s..?
riddle me that…
kate
midwifegoddessannie
2005/01/01 at 6:43 amWTF??? WHAT IS THAT??
closet metro
2005/01/01 at 6:45 amYikes, a pimply dick with eyes!
(That thing makes me so glad my kid is seven.)
Jennifer
2005/01/01 at 6:45 amOhmigod that might be the scariest children’s toy ever! Glad it makes Leta happy.
Happy new year!
kEma
2005/01/01 at 6:47 amGOsh this thing is ugly! It resembles blotched cucumber yukkk
i wonder how kids like this
susanna
2005/01/01 at 6:51 amthanks for keeping us all laughing Heather. What would we housebound moms do without you?
\
tickled
2005/01/01 at 6:52 amAaak! A pox on its penile little head!
Beth
2005/01/01 at 6:52 amLast night I dreamed I’d start 2005 with good wishes from an orange uncircumsized penis, and look what I get!
Happy New Year, Zing Zing Zingbah!
Circus Kelli
2005/01/01 at 6:52 amHappy New Year to you all, Dooce!
BOOOOOOOOOOOOBAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
That’s creepy with a capital CREEP.
courtney
2005/01/01 at 6:55 amThat is one of the ugliest things I’ve ever seen. But, if it keeps the little one from screaming and distracts her long enough for you to convene the procedure, then I guess it has its purpose in life. Happy New Year!
Danielle
2005/01/01 at 6:58 amI just realized that Mickey Mouse is going to be the grand marshal at the Tournament of Roses parade starting in a couple of minutes.
Now, do you think there will be a Boobah float to tie all of the weirdness together?
hmmmmm… somehow I doubt it.
but it would be strange if that did happen. almost as strange as dreaming about Boobah, Beth. 😉
bb
2005/01/01 at 7:03 amI have no idea what the craze with that is..
Karen
2005/01/01 at 7:04 amI just spent entirely too long on boohbah.com. It sucked me in…
Iraida
2005/01/01 at 7:06 amBooh bahs are freaking creepy. They Looks like weenies. Happy New Year 😀
Gordon
2005/01/01 at 7:08 amI got one of those Hallmark “Wish You a Merry Christmas” snowmen. I open to suggestion on what to do with it.
bushra
2005/01/01 at 7:08 ami meant, you never know where you are with the boohbahs, innit. (see what i mean?)
it’s no surprise that the boohbahs are from the same people behind the teletubbies…
Kahli
2005/01/01 at 7:11 amPenile allergy?
Happy New Year and buenos dias to all those managing and staffing and subscribing to the Blurbodoocery!
Cheers!
And to anybody in the Salt Lake Metro Area whom (whom)has a drunk looking snow angel in your yard.
Sorry, that was me… sooooo lame she is, so lame.
I have no idea how many I slobbered on the neighborhood…
All the best of the 05 to all y’all.
Lisa, Angela, Pamela, Renee… I love you….
Gooooder
2005/01/01 at 7:11 amAlmost as scary as Furbies!
syd
2005/01/01 at 7:16 amI bought my 9 month old neice the same exact toy. She loved it as much as we did. Especially when it made the farting sound. It may be scary and weird but the babe’s sure do like it 🙂 Happy New Year!
butterstar
2005/01/01 at 7:19 amAnd I thought teletubbies were evil when they came out. They ain’t nothin’.
I am soo glad I don’t have cable right now. SO GLAD.
And I’m also quite glad my three year old doesn’t know there’s a Limbo Elmo out there to BUY. It’s bad enough she interrupts my valuable internet time to play the damn game on sesamestreet.com.
Have a boobah-free 2005, to those who wish it. To those who use it as a distraction for your wee one so you can go have sneaky boobah sex, have a boobah-filled 2005.
Kathryn
2005/01/01 at 7:19 amGoddamm, that is not what I want to see when finally rousing myself after a night of vomitting, New Years Eve style. And why why why must it have warts all over its face??
Moxie
2005/01/01 at 7:22 amZing Zing needs to go get those genital warts burnt off.
becca
2005/01/01 at 7:25 amHappy New Year!
We have no Boombahs in our house (and am happy, as they seem sort of like a creepy toy that would come to life in a 1980’s movie), but we do get roused every morning by a dancing Elmo. So it’s a draw.
Scott
2005/01/01 at 7:32 amThese things may scare an entire generation of females away from the male genitalia. Yikes!
Happy New Year everyone.
paige
2005/01/01 at 7:35 amOh God, it DOES look like an uncircumsized penis!
*shudder*