the smell of my desperation has become a stench


“The Whole Damn Family” by Laurie Mecham, Emily’s mother, Emily being the one Chuck was so excited to see the other night that the consequent hours of gulping for air caused him to throw up grass on the rug three times in the middle of the night. Emily will soon be receiving the cleaning bill in the mail.

My favorite part of the article:

“One of my sisters lost her sense of humor in her divorce and has been spamming us ever since with gag-me ‘inspirational’ and ‘humorous’ emails. She forwarded the Washington Post Style Invitational winners in the contest where you alter a word by a single letter and provide a new definition, i.e. ‘Ignoranus: A person who’s both stupid and an asshole.’ My sister Pat replied, ‘While these are clever…MY game has a twist, you put an entire word in, not just a letter:
‘AFUCKINGNOYING’ – Someone who buries you in cute / sweet email shit.
‘OBFUCKINGNOXIOUS’ – Same person.'”

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Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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