the smell of my desperation has become a stench

Welcome to my online shrine to parental self-absorption!

The Book of Revelations forgot to mention this, but the fact that two of the most anal-retentive, perfectionist and nervous people on the planet were able to host 30 people including children under the age of accountability in their home — there were kids, in my living room, EATING ICE CREAM ON MY PERSIAN RUG WITH THEIR HANDS — that Jon and I made it through the day without experiencing cardiac arrest or any ruptured blood vessels, well, people, this TOTALLY means that the Second Coming of Jesus Christ is nigh unto us.

Jesus, he’s gonna knock on your door. Are you ready?

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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