Best way to roast the broomstick. Must try. Five Stars.
 
Best way to roast the broomstick. Must try. Five Stars.
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Leta, I promise I will pay for ALL of your therapy bills

By Heather B. Armstrong January 31, 2005
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  • Heather: You rock!

    Thank you for your honesty and forthrightness on dooce. Those who haven’t suffered through depression themselves have NO CLUE what it is like.

    I’m so thankful that I found my way here. You articulate the experience in a way that I never could..but to which I aspire.

    Happy b-day to the precious Leta and I hope you all enjoyed the chocolatey goodness.

    As for the troll, look’s like God’s Intern is on the case. Woohoo.

  • Annejelynn

    Amanda B. – I think I love you!?!

    …”add a *Go Blow Yourself for good measure.”

    Well said.

  • Ms. Belle

    HOLLY CAN SUCK IT!!!

  • Carol

    And don’t forget

    *suck it*

  • My depression was something I thought I had conquered a few years ago, but pregnancy only brought it back full-force. With less than one month to go until my due date, I can only hope that post-partum depression won’t affect me. If it does, at least I know that other women have gone through it and come out fighting.

    There is absolutely no shame in admitting that you need help. The last thing someone suffering from depression needs is to be even further stigmatized for seeking help, which in fact makes them a BETTER parent for refusing to deny that the problem exists. Anyone who doesn’t think so needs to remove their head from their ass.

    End of pregnancy fatigue is making me far less articulate than I should be, sorry.

  • Amy

    I think we should all just ignore Holly’s comments. There is always one in the bunch, who disagrees just to disagree. She is probably refreshing every two seconds to see what people wrote in response to her. Don’t let her get any satisfaction here. She should be paying for it in therapy like the rest of us.

  • Well, I’ve ignored a lot of them. But to be perfectly honest i’m sick of it. Trying to make someone feel like a bad mother has got to be one of the shittiest things a person can do.

    I know there will always be some sociopath out there with nothing better to do. But I can’t stand to see people getting picked on. It’s boils my brain.

    So I stand by my *Fuck Off* comment,and would like to add a *Go Blow Yourself* for good measure.

  • ashik

    Ignore the mean troll. (Although – “Dang cold…” just made me giggle like a freak at work.)

  • Annejelynn

    Another thought…

    Maybe Holly had a bad experience of her own, growing up, having to deal with a depressed parent who didn’t handle his/her depression responsibly…?

    I would rather hope that’s not the case, and that Holly’s simply having a very bad day, unfortunatly taking it out on the undeserving.

    It makes me sad, sad, sad (genuinely) when ANYONE still suffers from the effects of bad parenting, even if that someone, despite their adult status shovels shit on others for it.
    (If you’re adult, no longer under parental control, it’s time to GET COUNSELING; do not let yourself be the victim of your past any longer – a good happy life can be had!!!),

  • “Holly”. This is Leta’s birthday week. Do you think you could lay off just until Friday. Then you can resume your feeble attempts at emotionally bashing Dooce.

    Or come to think of it, why not just *Fuck Off* altogether?

  • Dang cold…one more thing…

    Why why why do people take the time to write the things they write???? Look how nice and paragraphed Holly’s passage is!! Fuck me sideways, she wrote a draft, a 2nd draft and then had it proof read by an editor and hit POST!!!

    Don’t you have books to burn??

    I give up…

  • Annejelynn

    I can totally relate to your comments, Trance!!! I felt my blood pressure SOAR SKYHIGH!

    Trance said at 05:11PM, 01.31.2005:

    I don’t think my urge to bitchslap the living shit out of someone has ever been so strong.

  • God’s Intern

    God is currently out of the office on another smiting, but I will page him about Holly.

    In the meantime, even a lowly celestial intern like me knows that dooce could not have predicted or prevented post-partum depression, and that her docs probably knew what they were talking about when they, you know, diagnosed her with PPD. But hey, that’s a guess. It’s not like I’m Holly or anything.

  • Ang

    Somebody (namely Holly!) must not have had cake for her 1st birthday… envy is so unhealthy.

    Over 250 positive comments can’t be wrong. It’s true: WE LOVE YOU DOOCE!

  • Dang cold…and a bit confused…

    Its like clockwork…

    I come back to this website after a few hours and scroll down the comments and this is what I always find. Like a deranged flasher does with his quivering, erect penis in a bustling school yard, at 10am in a Tuesday, some nut ball EXPOSES their lack of intellect and breeding to the World Wide Web on this public forum.

    Holly, you’re excused!!

  • cindy

    Heather, i think you will appreciate this article, lol..
    Blue Oyster Cult, Playing Along With ‘More Cowbell
    http://www.washingtonpost.com/ac2/wp-dyn/A46074-2005Jan28?language=printer

  • Holly doesn’t know what she’s talking about. Obviously.

    People with diagnosed and undiagnosed depression have kids all the time, people who’ve been on medications and who are unmedicated, and many are able to handle it with widely varying degrees of symptoms, including none.

    Post-partum depression is not necessarily connected to any pre-existing depression at all. Some people who’ve never been depressed can become slightly to clinically depressed after giving birth.

    Let’s not validate the inciters and perpetuate ignorant statements like Holly’s by retaliating.

    I can only wonder why Holly wants to shame others and has so much anger toward someone she doesn’t know.

  • Annejelynn

    another thing (soooo steamed by Holly’s ignorant comments)…

    Maybe if Heather had some terminal illness and went ahead and conceived anyhow, there’d be a beef to make…but clinical depression?

    Even if one was bi-polar (an awful, awful condition I wouldn’t wish on anyone), to deem he/she selfish for having children? Maybe if neglegent in their treatment of illness? HOWEVER, that’s NOT the case here – vigilant, prepared to handle it all in the best way possible, a gigantic host of helpful resources available to them, the Armstrongs…man, Leta is a lucky little girl.

  • I don’t think my urge to bitchslap the living shit out of someone has ever been so strong.

  • 2cute2be true 🙂

  • Annejelynn

    another thing Holly-dear,

    WAY WAY uncool to insinuate Leta’s first year has been wholly affected by her mother’s battle with depression… it’s not like Leta was ever carted off by social services!?! She has a HUGELY loving family, immediate and extended, and a WONDERFUL father too, tah fill in whenever mommie is having a tough time. And when mommie is up and at ’em, I’m sure Leta knows with every fiber of her baby being that she is certainly loved and adored by her mother.

  • Alicia

    Holly, your comments are just not helpful to anyone reading this blog — or to anyone who has ever been depressed. Why would you say such cruel things? Why can’t you (and others like you) just leave people alone? Those of us who suffer from depression and anxiety totally get Dooce. Those of us who are fun totally get Dooce. Thanks, Dooce, for always being honest, for giving us hope and humor, and for being awesome.

  • Teehee. I can’t stop giggling. That picture is too cute. :o)

  • Mir

    Can we get GOD down here to smite Holly in her self-righteousness, please? Pretty please??

  • Wow, I think Mr. Meyer (http://meyerweb.com) didn’t like what he read in the NYT article.

  • Annejelynn

    okay now Holly, gonna hafta kick some ass here if you don’t lay off …

    Depression is not something that makes one unworthy of experiencing motherhood and unable to be a mother successfully. Treated responsibly, all can be deemed manageable –challenging, nonetheless, but manageable.

    And if one is already clinically depressed, it doesn’t mean one can’t ALSO suffer (severely) from post-partum.

  • Carrie

    Well, Holly, that was a break from the normal rave reviews for Heather. But geez, you kind of need to chill out.
    I’ll admit you have a tinge of a point, although I still pretty much worship Heather and love the picture.

  • I hear chocolate is fantastic for the skin when used in facials so you’re really doing her quite a service. Yummy little creature.

  • That IS chocolate, right?

  • Holly

    First off when the term “mommy blog” is thrown around, it’s not Dooce who comes to mind. And apparently the people at BOB (best of Blog) awards thought so too. Her having a child isn’t what she’s known for, she’s known for her “dooced” incident. Why w you were included in the article dumfounds a lot of the blog community. But since you’re well- known it would at least have the readership of your site–good thiking NYT!

    Lastly it irks me to no end that Heather is now trying to pass off her chemical depression as post partum—WTF, it’s a totally different thing. Heather you were depressed before you had Leta, you choose to get pregnant, and your depression was not because of the pregnancy, why would you even claim such a thing?! “Chemical depression runs in my family: six of my mother’s eight brothers and sisters have it, my grandmother had it, my brother suffers from it daily.” Your words–

    You knew going in you were chemically dependent, what a selfish thing to do, look what Leta’s first year was like because of those choices. Mommy’s loosing it, mommy’s having to have others take care of her because she can’t cope, mommy’s in the funny farm, mommy’s not taking good care of me. No, you’re not selfish and self absorbed, than who is? You choose to get pregnant knowing you were more than likely not going to be able to do it. This is a good mother?!

    BTW I don’t see the humor in putting frosting on the child. Having a picture taking of a child who’s eaten the cake with their hands and has made a mess—is funny. A mom who puts food on her kid, to post the picture on her site is for totally self-absorbed reasons. The reporter was right on in his description of you.

  • That little dollop of icing on her nose is totally precious!

  • Hey, today is MY birthday and since I just gave birth last Wednesday, It is being ignored, so thanks for the birthday cake pictures. I’ll pretend you put them on just for me (Happy Birthday Leta! Aquarians RUUUUULE)

  • Big Gay Sam

    Amanda B. said at 04:23PM, 01.31.2005:
    If I was a genius, maybe Big Gay Sam wouldn’t have walked out on me.

    ……………………………..

    We are more than the sum of our parts. But some parts we just can’t do without sister girlfriend ;op

  • Ms. Belle

    Hey Heather, guess what? I went to register (under a fake name) on the NY Times website so I could see the article and Leta’s picture (CUUUUUTTE pic, by the way)…..I chose the user name “SUCKIT” but it came back and told me that I would have to be “SUCKIT64” because apparently SUCKIT0-SUCKIT63 were already taken. That’s awesome!

  • Oh, no, wait. That’s *penis* not genius.

  • I read the NYT article too and had the exact same reaction, “Wow Leta is so cute, but what is this validation crap?” I read this blog because I just think you’re funny. You were funny when you didn’t have a baby and you’re funny as a mom. So they can suck it! (By the way a brilliant phrase and I was so pleased to know others out there were using it, in a way it made me feel, well…validated.)

  • Lauren- me? a genius? Evil genius, Maybe. That’s about it.

    If I was a genius, maybe Big Gay Sam wouldn’t have walked out on me.

  • Annejelynn

    This below soooo applies to today’s photo…

    DG said at 07:55PM, 01.08.2005:

    Sometimes, when I visit dooce.com, I fight the urge to LICK my screen.

    Yes, despite all the Poop-Talk, THAT’S how tasty I find HERE to be.

  • Boy oh boy, don’t ask me why for one single instant I thought that was poop, before I read the caption…

    I was thinking too much of my own history with my 9 month old.

  • Thanks for those mad props, AmandaB. You’re obviously witty and fun, but a genius too? Uh Oh, triple threat in the house! Can I get a “HaaaaaayMEN!”

  • tk

    Yay!!!! “Chocolate covered Baby” picture…. LOVE it!!!!

    TK

  • I love how morgana came all the way here just to “not give a poop”

  • Lala

    So Heather,

    Are they good for anything else? Besides the frosting thing. I’d love a list. Seriously. There’s been a lot of talk around here about having one of those buggers. You’ve led me to understand well the trials and tribulations (bless you) but can we itemize the perks?
    I’m not sure the oft cited ‘smiles’ or ‘giggles’ is going to do it for me.

  • Good lord, but that’s funny.
    Mmm, chocolate!

  • First up – Happy birthday Leta (for Thursday) that is. 2ndly, I can understand the reasons why I shouldn’t write about my work life on my journal (even though I live work for most of my waking time despite the fact I have 2 children). But when I write about life outside my work, writing about my children is considered self-centred? So be it – it is MY online journal after all- I don’t exactly have the time to research and write a book at this point in my life. I think its all about writing – if you want to write well, then write about what you know best. And I think Dooce writes extremely well which is why I come back.

  • Oops, Sorry, I said Sam and Leta would be cute together. Then I told you to see for yourself at my blog. DUH! Little did I know, his pix slid off my first page and into archive oblivion. Sorry Dooce. You can now verify my opininon.
    Merci Bien!

  • lawbrat

    I did the same thing with my son on his first birthday. Except he had blue frosting, and we purchased a cheap shower curtain and put it under his high chair.
    Dooce mentioned my boyfriend on her blog!! I cant wait to tell him. (Phillip from liquidweb) He actually told me about Dooce.com and thought I may like it. From the first time I started reading Dooce, I LOVED IT! I read through most of the archives to gain an understanding of the ‘now’ posts, and I give a shout out to Heather for her honesty and sense of humor.

  • Happy Birthday cake, Leta! This picture is definitely a keeper.

    And for eeyorena #207
    When I was in high school study hall, I was reading a book by Erma Bombeck. The fellow across the table grabbed it out of my hands and exclaimed “What are you doing reading this?! My Mother reads this!”
    Well, I thought Erma was funny even then, and today I am a proud owner of a first edition of her MOTHERHOOD: THE SECOND OLDEST PROFESSION.
    Thank you for making the connections, because Dooce.com also makes me grin most of the time.

  • That sounded so totally righteous and indignant. Apologies. 😀

  • Torrie

    Morgana- go away. Is it validating to rain on people’s parades?

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Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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