An unfiltered fire hose of flaming condemnation

Leta, I promise I will pay for ALL of your therapy bills

  • Jenn

    Leta has the most gorgeous and expresive eyes.
    Dooce thanks for the stories..thanks for the memories..thanks for making my first few minutes of work F-U-C-K-I-N-G GREAT!
    You truly are the wind beneath my wings…

    Your devoted reader,

  • It’s great to be called self-absorbed and (quote) “really far up your own ass” by people who still, inexplicably, READ YOU EVERY DAY.


    Essentially weblogs are still diaries of sorts. Of course they’re self-absorbed. Who the fuck else is Dooce supposed to write about, is she supposed to pick a “fan” every week and let fly?

    People that spend too much time analyzing blogs mystify me. Just read and enjoy. Or don’t.

  • Carol

    Colleen – you are funny!

  • sara

    Years from now, all you may remember is that your lovely daughter was in the New York Times – and so close to her birthday. What a great memory. Frame it, put it on the wall. enjoy.

  • I happen to be twice as absorbant as the leading brand, thanks to my blog.

  • Cassy

    Too adorable!!! I would definitely do that to my kids. I don’t think I could wait a whole year to do it, though.

  • I’m one of the slow ones who has just discovered Dooce. (You owe me three days of TOTAL worthlessness at work by the way because all I’ve been able to do is read about your life…) This is too cute. Like, makes my cheeks hurt preciously adorably cute.

    And I’ve been thinking about this whole “screwing up children thing” and I’m pretty sure that’s what parents are SUPPOSED to do. I mean, I think my parents used to lie in bed at night and try and figure out ways that they could fuck with our heads. I think this whole smearing of the chocolate on the face is pretty minor. God, think how much worse it could be. Imagine if she DIDN’T WEAR SOCKS!!

  • You may want to take back the bit about the therapy. Before The Way Back Machine gets hold of it. Otherwise she’ll use it against you later.

  • Annejelynn

    “precedence” – I sit at my compooter corrected….

  • Bruno

    I have decided to ignore negative people. Life is too short to deal with shit disturbers. I love Dooce and enjoy coming here everyday. I feel like I know her. Sort of creepy but … being positive!!!

  • Annejelynn

    Yeah, Mrs. Strizzay -I’m w/ ya! –think I said something similar yesterday, focusing upon Leta, thrilled to just see her lil’ sweet cheeked face! and that that took prescidence, over the article itself…

  • Those eyes are amazing. Too bad Salt Lake is so far from CT. I think Sam and Leta would make an excellent couple. (see Sam on phone pix at my blog, I think you’d agree.)

  • Well I feel sorry for ALL of you. I *glaZed* over the article and focused on the picture.

  • Bucky,
    So sweet of you – but acourse I’m thinkin deep. I’ve shit 4 brains today!

  • I think it’s funny the article said Mommy blogs, when a few of those mentioned were Daddy blogs….however, it was nice to see 2 of my favorite blogs get national attention this weekend

  • Ohhhhhhhhhhhh, she is just too cute for words.

  • Annejelynn

    “mommy blogs”…how lovely.
    but yes, I LOVE IT! I DO! hey, I’m allll for validating Dooce!

    Soooo, (here I go again) submit your votes! – she’s got 4 BLOGGIES NOMINATIONS!

    In the last two mon., nearly 45 friends and mere aquaintances of mine have all been turned on to that which is — I’m a living, breathing ‘’ promotional! Hey, when something makes me happy, I wanna share and let others share in the joy!

  • As if her cheeks weren’t getting eaten enough!


  • Girl.A, you’re soooooo dreamy when you think deep.

  • Dang Cold…

    Dear Archie Bunker, I mean Morgana,

    Why ARE you here???

  • Carol

    Blah blah blah… concommitant recognition…blah fucking blah blah…neo-conservative… blah blah blabbity blah. Blah.

    I just like the pictures.

  • Amanda B. said at 01:27PM, 01.31.2005:

    Big Gay Sam- why won’t you love me?


    Because I’m a rolling stone baby. The road is my mistress. Remember me fondly.

  • Leta, I like your Choco-Cheeks!

    I wonder if those people who are bitching about the me me me me thing are the same ones who teach their kids that it is necessary to put themselves down after every activity. Just in case anyone should think they are too proud of themselves or having fun.

    Ego and empathy can co-exist. It’s called human nature.

  • What I don’t understand is why people feel the need to comment on something that they CHOOSE to read, but then upon finishing the reading, they decide they’re pissed and want to say something. If you don’t like what I (or another blogger, like dooce and all ya’ll) have written, then move the fuck on. If I come across something that doesn’t interest me, or bores me, or doesn’t trip my trigger, I don’t read it. I don’t check back a few days later to see if what I disliked before is something I STILL dislike now.

    I wrote a post last week on my site about my own personal opinions on alternative schools and the people I deal with while I’m at MY job. It was MY opinion on MY blog. I was not representing any company, business, or organization. A fellow blogger felt the need to call me ignorant, bash me for not having my own children, and then tell me that she would never let her daughter meet me. Great! Who cares! I was voicing my opinion, because I can.

    These people who feel the need to name call and just plain act like assholes because they don’t like what someone has said are wasting their time, if you ask me. Just like La Depresso or whatever her name is and the other one, Magda-something. You KEEP COMING BACK to see what people wrote back to you. You must get off on this shit, this internet conflict, and that must self satisfy YOUR ass.

  • morgana, some would call your post troll-like.

    but i won’t, because my ego is so fragile and my need for validation so great that i don’t want you to dislike me.

  • eeyorena

    la depressionada? You may also bite me. Neo-conservatives want to banish any women who they can’t use to further their agenda back to the pre-feminist age. Blogging about the realities of balancing parenthood and life and word and health (versus the myths) flies in the face of this and I’m all for it. Every molecule of my lefty self.

  • Gillian

    Heather- you DO look like Leta, at least in this picture:
    Same long lashes and wide-eyed expression, one might say. =)
    And Michael- urk?! I know you aren’t being malicious, but “Leta” and “pig in shit” in the same paragraph makes me cringe a little…

  • Morgana- you’re just pissed off because you only have a few hit points left.

  • eeyorena

    (Super cute pic Leta! Chocolate is your color.)


    Not being a parent, but contemplating it, I think the NYT got it ALL WRONG.

    When my mom and possibly your mom were raising us, they could talk over the backyard fence. They could ask questions and share a laugh because, in parenting, laughs must be shared in order to prevail with one’s sanity intact.

    In parenting, THERE IS NO MANUAL THAT COVERS ALL SITUATIONS. Each of these little bundles of arms and legs and screaming is so different that it is a RELIEF to read about someone else’s experiences. To know that it isn’t just you…it isn’t a case of everyone else “getting it” and you don’t. It feels good to read these blogs and know, “Well, okay, that happened to her/him, and they lived, so I’ll live, right?”

    Did the media trash Jean Kerr for her book, “Please Don’t Eat the Daisies” in the 50’s? (Which was made into a movie and tv series.)Was Erma Bombeck self-absorbed when she wrote “At Wit’s End” in the 60’s? HELL NO! Time Magazine put Erma Bombeck on the cover, FFS! Why? Because she was speaking out against this “you must be the perfect mommy or you’ve failed myth: that society has saddled many parents (especially moms) with. Bombeck was a passionate feminist.

    So, I’m all for parent bloggers. Keeping it real for our generation. And Hochman? You may bite me.

  • shy


    then why are you here?

  • Erin

    Everyone is looking for, and needs validation. It doesn’t matter if you are a high-powered executive, a journalist, or a SAHM. It is a basic human need to feel like what you are doing is important.

    For moms who choose to blog, maybe the blogging is a way to feel valuable and connected. Being a mom doesn’t preclude a person’s need to have connections to the outside world, or to need a hobby or an outlet to voice frustrations and feel like others are going through the same thing that you are.

    Back in the day, moms stayed home with their kids because they didn’t have a choice. Now, when moms choose to stay home, it is a CHOICE, and they can voice their needs and be honest when it is hard or frustrating.

    This comment is coming from someone who is not a parent, and is in fact in medical school, so will probably never be a SAHM. But I think that being critical of someone else’s choices or how they spend their time is a sign that you are questioning your own life choices.

    We all read Dooce for different reasons–to connect with other moms, because the writing is good, to get a daily laugh, to see the great pictures, or b/c of the community that has developed in the comments section. Similarly, I’m sure that mom-bloggers all blog for their own reasons too–as a hobby, to voice frustrations, to connect with other moms, to keep out of town friends and family updated, or because they love to write. It was judgemental of the NYT writer to assign a negative motivation (self absorbed validation-seeking) to what other people do.

    Thank you, Dooce, for my daily laugh, and for the good writing. Whatever your motivations for keeping this website (which readers have a pretty good idea of, even if the NYT doesn’t), I hope that you keep sending the laughs our way.

    BTW, how many Erins are posting comments here!?

  • Morgana

    I think the NYT article is completely fair. The sad truth is that many parent (and especially, mother) blogs ARE me-me-me-me-me collections of self-centered drivel that mostly serves the purpose of drawing attention to the author(ess), thus boosting her self-confidence.

    Dooce is occasionally amusing, but it’s the exception that proves the rule.

    Basically I am sick and tired of the self-importance of bloggers as well as ponderous articles about blogging as a “hot trend”.

    I don’t give a poop, even if it’s smeared across the face of a toddler and then photographed.

  • Kit

    Leta’s hair is definitely getting long enough to do a fantastic EmoHawk. I hear icing makes a good gel.

    Happy birthday to the Leta!

  • Fish- you are a sexy bitch.

    Pix- I understand what you are saying.

    Big Gay Sam- why won’t you love me?

  • It’s called professional snobbery. Journalists are a little pissed off that blogs offer better, more imformative and quicker news than they can offer. Plus blogs are global and can be accessed at any time, anywhere.

    Don’t worry. It’s just jealousy.

  • I remember that first birthday of my son’s. We took the very good advice of a friend and spread out an old queen sized flat sheet on the floor, put cake and baby in the middle, and let him have at it! No worries, he wasn’t walking yet at that age either, not that it slowed him down much, as he’d mastered the “commando belly crawl”. Happy birthday Leta. May you always have the best this world has to offer, and none of the worst. Jon and Heather, you survived the first year. Congrats, and brace for the terrible twos!

  • Michael

    New header ideas:

    “ Gunning for the NY Times since 2005”

    “ Outgunning the NY Times since 2004” (in terms of hits per content)

  • wes

    that was really the ugliest goddamn cake i’ve ever seen. it brings back all kind of pleasant memories of my mom’s horrific attempts at baking.

    i think the cake looks better on her face, actually.

  • Michael

    Leta’s nose looks a little piggy in this photo. Which I guess fits with the “pig in shit” look she’s got going on. (not meant as derogatory)

  • Michael

    To respond to what megan said at 12:51, I think the blog world has in some cases taken the place of the extended and close families that came before. While it’s not the same as having a physical network of people in close proximity to you, the networks of information and support that people form online can take the place of ears and mouths that listened and advised in years past that were cousins and grandparents and other family members that all occupied the same town or nearby towns.

  • Ms.

    I don’t know if y’all have seen this, but it may be wise to direct your charitable donations to more needy causes: Darfur, Iraq, Congo, your local ghetto. The Red Cross doesn’t need any more money for tsunami aid.

    “On January 26, the International Federation of Red Cross and Red Crescent Societies announced that the $1.2 billion U.S. dollars (1.4 billion Swiss francs) pledged worldwide is sufficient to meet the costs of the entire Red Cross tsunami relief program.”

  • Annejelynn

    I love what sweetney said at 12:37PM, 01.31.2005:

    …”whatta bunch of hooey. if it pleases the author, he can bite me now.”

  • Annejelynn

    LMAO – Fish! ME ME TOO! (and my kid)

  • Summary of post at Toby Joe’s chafed thighs and Running Dog’s ingrown ass hair.

  • Summary of today’s post on Symbioticfishes:

    ME! ME! ME! ME! ME! ME! ME! ME! ME! ME! ME! ME! ME! ME! ME! ME! ME! ME! ME! ME! ME! ME! ME! ME! ME! ME! ME! ME! ME! ME!

    (and my kid)

    The End.

  • You are, far and away, a GREAT mom! I hope to follow the whole cycle of Leta’s growing up: the teeange years when she turns on you, then her new-mother years where you pay her back for EVERYTHING by using her spawn as lethal weapon!

  • I’m pissed off at the NYT for another reason entirely. Some asshat here in Brooklyn keeps stealing my paper from my front porch. And when I called to complain, they said they would have someone call me back within 48 hours so we could agree on a place to hide it.

    That was a week and a half ago. No one ever called. Talk about self-absorbed.

    Or something.

  • The girl who writes design*sponge ( got screwed over by the NY Times this week too. And they once ran a horribly unflattering photo of me, where I looked like I was wearing fake teeth from a gumball machine. I really don’t think they are very nice people.

  • wow – i can’t believe how wrong that article got blogging. or maybe it’s us?? all the hundreds of us who are, apparently, completely inept parents with multitudes of questions and concerns which seemingly no one else has. it’s not honesty we’re writing through our blogs – it’s payback to the precious children whom we love more than anything else – including ourselves and our signifigant others – to use against them during their adolescence!
    damn – we’ve been caught, folks. the gig is up. the big, bad, NY Times found us out.

    ps – ADORABLE photo of Leta none the less! 🙂 🙂

  • Alicia, I think you too are skirting the issue. One particularly insidious side effect of 25 years of neo-conservatism is the celebration of motherhood — indeed all parenthood — as though this generation were the first to ever engage in the endeavour.

    Also, it’s fine to want more, but it’s important to admit it. If not for yourself, then for those who are fighting that fight.

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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