the smell of my desperation has become a stench

How to Annoy Me

Keep trying to get the shape out of the box by sticking your hand through the side of the box where the shape goes in therefore making it impossible to get the shape out because it’s not big enough FOR BOTH YOUR HAND AND THE SHAPE, and then just stare at me and scream when I try to explain that it MIGHT WORK if you reach in through the top of the box. WHEN THE HELL DOES YOUR FATHER GET HOME?

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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