An unfiltered fire hose of flaming condemnation

Jones. He got in the way.

  • Katrina said at 12:19PM, 02.17.2005:
    Kristine #303,then say something like, “I wish my ex-husband would overdose on Nyquil” like I did on my blog.

    I first read that you had overdosed on your dog and I was trying to figure out how you got dog in your system…

    Katrina: She swallowed the dog to catch the cat to catch the bird to catch the spider that wriggled and wriggled and wriggled inside her. She swallowed the spider to catch the fly.

    I’m surprised you never heard of this…

  • Kristine, I love me some NyQuil…but a good shot of moonshine will cure all that ails you. Even that it isn’t Chuck Friday.

  • ashik

    Thanks Amanda

  • kristine: It tastes like lemon-flavored shit, but try Theraflu. Put it in with a tea bag and a load of sugar and it’s not so bad, and it really does make you feel better.


  • Mmmmm. Viggo Mor-ter-fren-sen. Yummy with syrup…

    Ashik- try for super easy to set up and maintain blogging…


  • Katrina- LOL
    Well the dog is pretty small.
    You think taking him will clear up this runny nose?

    I’ll try it!

  • Matt Damon

    I’m buck naked ladies

  • Matt Damon

    Annejelynn, Hey, baby….I like your apples….

  • It wouldn’t take much for Michael Jackson’s nose to fall off. Light breeze, mild sneeze… Air in general…


  • HeatherPOO:

    Utah is sort of the land ‘O’ no professional sports, except the Jazz, which arent too great. I’ve never quite understood the no sports thing out there, and have always assumed it has to do with LDS or something…

  • It’s okay, I wish it was Chuck Friday too!

  • Finding Blog Fodder is not always easy.
    I live with the Fodder of soul.
    “Hello muther…Hello Fodder…”

    OH god, someone just shoot me!

    Anyone know of Flu/Cold medicine that will actually WORK?

    If Michael Jackson has THIS string of flu…his nose will fall off.

  • ya know what, I keep waiting for ‘Matt Damon’ to post a comment…and I’m surprised no one has done it yet!

    I wanted to do so, myself, when I first thought of it around 7:30 am (my Pacific time) – posting as ‘Matt Damon.’ BUT I know already that I can’t possibly pose as Matt Damon and come up with anything truly witty…so I’ve been waiting and waiting for one of you to do it

    what up?

    Where’s Matt Damon?

  • Kristine #303,then say something like, “I wish my ex-husband would overdose on Nyquil” like I did on my blog.

    I first read that you had overdosed on your dog and I was trying to figure out how you got dog in your system…

  • Dang Cold Baby: I noticed I was #300 and I was going to post another comment like “Woo! #300! Yeah, baby! SHA-ZAAAM!”

    And then I thought… nah.

    Thanks for bein there for me, man. You’re not just Dang Cold, you’re Wicked Cold in my book.

  • Striz — guess I’m eatin’ my corn flakes dry today, then.

  • ashik

    does it take a lot of energy to maintain a blog? not in the writing on it sense, but in the making the internets work sense. i’m beginning to kinda want one.

  • ERN – ‘blonde’ is much much prettier…

    blond – no go. no way. no ‘blond’ – and I ain’t blonde, never have been…but no ‘blond.’

  • Seth – I thought Lucy was in the sky with diamonds….who caged her?

  • My milk is GONE Bucky, gone gone gone.

  • Ed

    I’m just posting this hoping it will generate a few hits on my blog.


  • always “blonde” – none of this ‘blond’ crrrawp!

  • Great picture! Extreme close-up!

    When I first saw that I thought it was Chuck Fridays, then I realized it wasn’t Chuck, then I realized Chuck wasn’t even in the background (that I could tell) and then I realized it was Thursday, and I was all, like, “damn.”

    It’s still a funny picture, though. It would make a great desktop wallpaper on your monitor. Like Jones was trying to get out of your computer or sumpin…

    Hello? Anyone? I just can’t understand why no one listens to me…

  • I’m listening CK, I’m always here for you, and, you madame are comment # 300.

  • Ed-
    then say something like, “I wish my ex-husband would overdose on Nyquil” like I did on my blog.

    Just kidding.

    Not going to your blog just because you kinda told me too.

    I’m feeling all juiced up on Will Ferrell and Cold and Flu pills.

  • ah! C.K. Jones as desktop wallpaper! excellent idea!

  • Ed, I use ‘wowzers’ all.the.time.
    and yes, I’m a big.fat.nerdo.

  • Ah! Shit! I remember Oliver Daily now!

  • I have nipple fucker can you milk me?


    Too cute!

  • “nipple fucker”

    Has nipple fucker, will travel.

  • me

    Blondie – proper noun, wife of Dagwood, owns a dog named Daisy.

  • Shiiiit

    My boyfriends were all old enough to buy the beer. Nothing says I love you like a couple cases of Keystone Light and game slike Asshole and 3man. THOSE were the fucking days my friends.

  • SHIZ-
    I see Philip Seymour Hoffman as Ignatius J. Reilly

    What do you think?

    I really can’t see Will Farrell playing Ignatius.

  • Ern

    I refuse to ever use “blond” because to me it just doesn’t look as pretty as “blonde”

    So don’t you be callin’ me blond, beyotch!

  • Heather, you’ve gone all Wegman on us with your Weimaraner picture today. Makes me miss my Lucy who has to sit in a cage all day. Thanks for the photo – so indicative of the Weim’s boundless personality.

  • What?
    Who’s gettin’ milked?

  • Sidney Ann

    What WAS supposed to be a mother-daughter Kodak moment. Crap!

  • Katie-be-bored-at-work

    Shiz, Jones in Confederacy of Dunces is awesome. Ignatius Reilly would be proud of the pic of Jones.

  • Anchorman was the best movie ever.

    *I ate a big red candle.*

  • Keith said at 10:01AM, 02.17.2005:
    But what I want to know is… who is that back there with their head positioned so it looks like they’re milking the dog?

    How else would it be? It’s Matt Damon! OF FRANCE!!

  • Michael

    I saw Gavin Rossdale on the repeat of Conan yesterday and they showed a part of the movie Constantine, which he’s in. If he slims down, he and Jude Law are going to be the same person.

  • Taye Diggs?
    I diggs Taye.

    Now I must apply clothespins to my nipples, as is customary whenever I think of Taye Diggs.

    Ow. Beautiful ow.

  • Will Farrell makes me laugh until I pee my pants. I wear diapers so I can be lazy and not clean up the puddle.

    Does wearing a diaper make me autistic?

  • Hey me: I always wondered which was which with the blonde/blond. Seriously. And I was an english major.

    *hangs head in shame*

  • WAAAUUGGHH! He looks evil! He doesn’t even look like a dog! He looks like some sort of weird alien being.


  • me


    “blonde” = noun. Such as, “Did you see that blonde?”

    “blond” = adj. Such as, “She has blond hair.”

  • I love that so much! But I’m also very curious what he’s blocking. Is it Matt Damon?

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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