the smell of my desperation has become a stench

How to Charm Me

Catch me going 64 mph in a 40 mph zone where there was also CONSTRUCTION going on (fines double in construction zones!), and then when you ask for my proof of insurance and I tell you that, oops, I forgot to put it into the car, waive the $400 fee and possibility of TOWING THE CAR and then, THEN go ahead and reduce the ticket to make it look like I was only going 11 mph over the speed limit. You just saved my marriage.

[photographic proof (with Heather Powazek Champ’s new cameraphone) that the police in Price, UT mean it when they say, hey, you, slow down.]

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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