An unfiltered fire hose of flaming condemnation


  • OHhhh Bucky! Too Cool! What a fun wedding that would be! All the booze can be tinted red, like blood. Dress is leather and meesh outfits! WooHoo

  • Can I be there for the night BEFORE the wedding?

  • And Nilbo would be the wedding photographer, I suppose.

    “Any, um, any spare boobs here, ladies?” _flash_

  • LeafGirl77

    Ooh Ooh, I want to come!!! That sounds like a great PARTAY!

  • ooh I did it

  • Torrie, I think that can be arranged.

  • Maybe, kalki…I, um, _know somebody._

  • LeafGirl77

    I’ve always wanted to have a masquerade party..complete with poofy gowns, corsets and feathery masks. Seems like I’m on my own with this one…

  • Strizz – Shame on you for violating that poor kitty.

    umm…I was talking about the kitten…the _feline_

  • Work with me, ladies .. work with me .. Bucky, just a little flash, the nation will risk it …

  • You’re the best, LB. 😉

  • Annabelle

    Muff, I smoke too. I’m not white trash, though I am concerned about the getting married by elvis thing.. and the jailbird thing.. and the fact that you think 250,000 is a lot for a condo (which simply speaks to your regionality).

  • LeafGirl77

    _Pretty Italics…right?

  • SWEET, *thanks* LadyBug! I don’t know how it is that I know HTML but none of this stuff. But now I do, _thanks to you_. 🙂

  • Muffy

    Martha Stewart was in jail too.
    She must be white trash.

  • LeafGirl77 about

    _Pretty Italics_

  • LeafGirl77

    Aha…I thought this entry would have to say “I SUCK!”

  • Martha Stewart

    Leave me out of this. That would be a good thing.

  • OMG get off Muffy- Just because you want to make your life seem that much more perfect dosent mean you have to judge other people to do it.

  • If I get married I want to do it in Vegas, but not by Elvis, by Dracula

  • The Warden

    I love Chuck. *Doot* He’s such a cool dog.

  • Two words, LadyBug (#262): *HAVE MERCY*

  • Can I dress like Morticia and be your matron of dishonor?

  • Mr. Rogers

    Can you say, “If we don’t want the playground gates to be locked, we must play much more nicely than this?”

    I knew that you could.

  • Elvis

    who speaketh my name?


    I have just spoken to The Princess, she spoke to Uncle Nick to see if he “feels better” and “Still love me?”.

    Princess will be getting picked up in about 1 hour for the spoiling and the rampaging.

    Score: Princess- 1, Uncle Nick-Sucker

  • Well shit now the bold didn’t work. oh well, you get the picture.

    Now, did you have anything to do with Mr. Stamos visiting my blog? Hmmm?

  • anonymous

    OMG, Anon, I am so with you.

    Muffy, you have fully proved your white trashiness today. Further evidence that you’re white trash is that you’re citing facts from your life and have absolutely no friggin idea how alien you sound to the non white trash on this forum.

    The fact that you were in jail for anything, ever, is pretty much the crown jewel in your hillbilly tiara.

  • Kalki! You’re welcome.

    And, dear, how was your _rendezvous_ with the Famous Mr. Stamos?

  • Hmmmmm…..

    Could Muffy and Flanella be the same person?

    Is Fanny really just another word for ass?

    Will JessicaRabbit retire as a wealthy internet distributor of fishnetty-bootylicious-bodystockings?

    Stay tuned to “Dooce – The Cleanest Floors and Dirtiest Comments on the Internet”

  • _like this_ ?

  • Jess, all of your parts are good. I’m not picky.

  • underscore makes _pretty italics_

  • Bucky: You flatter. No, not a genius…more of a…umm…

    well, maybe *genius* _is_ fitting.

  • Muffy

    My mom’s a bingo-caller for her freaking CHURCH! She lives in a 250,000 dollar condo.

    Elvis beats a priest any day (As i know LOTS AND LOTS of people who were married in CATHOLIC churches by PRIESTS, are now….DIVORCED!)

    A lot of people smoke. That doesn’t make us white trash.

    At least I don’t hide behind ANON.
    I’ve posted my name and email address..Unlike you.

  • I love him so so so so so so much.

  • Im am all good Jessica. I want to see the net thingy. I so want one of those! Very, very, very sexy. I sent my ex to your site Jessica, I could hear him drooling over the phone!

  • Muffy

    Actually, giggles, my mom suggested it! In fact, my sister was married (second marriage – she’s special like that)at the same chapel, BY ELVIS, my one brother was married in Vegas, BY ELVIS, we’ll be married in LV, BY ELVIS, and we’re going to make my other brother and his wife re-take their vows in front of ELVIS..
    My mom’s claims to fame:
    1: Calls bingo without a microphone
    2: All her children were married by Elvis.

  • Lawbrat haha, I will post a link to where I buy all that stuff from.

    My guy posted his hiney on his site today. He has a walnut crackin ass.


    Flanella, is it really you?

    Flanella, I’M HUNG LIKE A HORSE.


  • Oh and I totally showed him all the boobage when he got home from work last night. He was very very amused.

    Bucky, I had Nick come in the room and loudly ask me to help him with lunch in an annoyed fashion heh.

  • Oh, and *giggles* (#229):

    I was _so_ hoping someone would ask me how I did that, so I can pretend to be a techie geek, as opposed to my normal, I don’t know shit about this, I just accidentally figured this out, self.

    [And to prove that I am a geek, though not really a _techie_ geek I offer the following proof: I actually put a Post-It note on my monitor so I’d remember how to do that next time.]

    Okay! Linky-link techie mumbo-jumbo:

    {Quote}words you want displayed{end quote}:{URL}

    Let’s see if I’ve got it right:


  • Kimmie have you just umlocked the secret of dooce?

  • Im so going to check out the walnut cracking ass!

    We’ve all seen your horse-like hungness Pokey, its a bit stubby.

  • Anon

    Let’s see …

    1. Muffy’s a die-hard smoker.
    2. Muffy is getting married by Elvis.
    3. Muffy thinks that revenge of the ‘send him sex toys’ type is good stuff.
    4. Muffy’s mom is a bingo caller.

    And you say you’re NOT white trash?

  • kimmieindallas

    Comeon people. Doesn’t anyone else think this looks like Heather?

    It’s heather as a nun!

  • Ack, sorry! I tell ya, answering the phone with an unplaceable accent can help you out of those sitatuations.

    I used to work with a chap from China, and whenever someone would ask him to do a particularly distasteful job, he’d pipe up with “No speak-a English!”
    (which, by the way, he spoke better than many for whom English is a first language)

  • Jess, ha, that’s always a good plan. Jim is good with the “BITCH! WHERE’S MY DINNER!” growl when I’m not happy on the phone.

    LadyBug, you geeeeeenius!

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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