Best way to roast the broomstick. Must try. Five Stars.


  • Cool, it worked. Thanks, LB.

    I know how to do *bold* but what about italics?

  • Muffy

    Thanks giggles…
    Actually, the wedding is taking place in Fabulous Las Vegas!

    And you can all watch it LIVE AS IT HAPPENS!
    Paul and I will be in the MAIN CHAPEL!
    I’m good for favors. My bridesmaid made up these really cool refrigerator magnets.
    We’ll be having an early dinner with the guests at the Venetian (ooh-lala)..Followed by partying at Margaritaville. Boat drinks for all!
    I hope you all come and watch it as it happens! Hopefully, I won’t be hungover.

  • Dont you hate it when your trying to be obnoxious in public and someone you dont even like calls you?

  • Poor Jess…gotta make better use of that caller ID. Or answer with an accent “Meesiz Rabbit eez not home-a right now.”

  • Mollie

    Wow, Muffy. Sorry for my ‘hackneyed’ advice.

  • Fanny

    Bucky FE – you win! Spanked by Fanny! Good one…

  • Hey guys I found Paris Hiltons Flickr site!!!

  • Muffy: I will try to watch on May 18 – whoohee!!! That’d be awesome to witness.

    My boyfriend has mentioned Las Vegas to me as a place to get married, but I don’t think either of our families would care for it too much. You’ll have to tell us all the stories of ‘Sin City’ when you get back, m’kay?

    I’m making note of the link, day and time…. 🙂

  • Bucky, cordless phone is dead and I foolishly picked up the “real” phone, only to hear the voice of the blue light girl. ahhhhhhhh noooooooooo

  • Torrie, what body part do you want to see today?

    Lawbrat hey lady how you doing today?

    Nilbo, glad to see your still with us as well!

  • Just catching up…

    So, Bucky got spanked by Fanny, who was, apparently, talking out of her, um, _fanny._

    And Muffy’s ex-boyfriend is an S.O.B.

    Did I miss anything?

  • I was just reading the comments. Great Pic Heather! He is the coolest looking dog. I love his pictures.

    Susie, OMG 42 comments already? I want to say: I WAS FIRST

    That. Is. All.

  • Flanella Washington

    I just want to stop in and said “hi” to all the daytime bloggers out their. I can’t blog for long because I am still at work. Everone have a splindid day!
    Flanella Jo

  • Ladybug – are you going to share how you made the link?

    Muffy – I’m sorry about your ex-boyfriends hypocrisy. In the grand scheme of life, it will bite him in the end.

    How are the wedding plans going? Do you have everything lined out and ready to go? I got a book of gifts/favors for guests the other day of other ideas, and thought it should be lots of fun planning for a wedding.

  • You guys have freakishly clean floors.

  • A few weeks ago, I said “Hey Bitch!” when a girlfrien of mine answered the phone.

    Problem is, it wasn’t her. It was her MOM. Her Mom was babysitting so she could have a date with her husband.

    When she got home, there was a note on the fridge…

    “Hunzer from Minnesota called…me a bitch.”


  • Hypocrites piss me right the fuck off.

    On a whole other note, I have read several of the blogs of the commenters on the post and you all are some really great, funny, talented writers. What a cool bunch. 🙂

  • Monkey? where?

  • If we all waited to have something to say to post when would we ever post?

  • Lessee: I’m here. And Torrie. And Bucky. And Jessica.

    Ah, crap, there goes the rest of my day.

  • So Jess, what body part are we going to see today?

  • Chuck Fridays make my workday a little less stressful and chaotic. They’re my Dooce “Moment of Zen”. Thanks, Dooce!

  • erin

    Hooray for Chuck Fridays!!! Just what I needed. 🙂 Have a great weekend, everyone!

  • Something that Bucky can’t claim world-class status with …?

  • This is sooo not what I’m supposed to be doin’ right now.
    Break out the lube.

  • Muffy

    Thanks SFG…
    The “get over it”s and “don’t stoop to that level”, a bit hackneyed, don’t you think?

    If he wanted to break up with me, fine, Im a big girl. But don’t use me as your parents’ basement cleaner/fish fileter/work-related data entrist while you boff a lawyer more suited to your pretty-donut family’s liking.

    I think i just needed a little venting and validation. I think I’m more pissed off at my cousin for NOT telling him to “fuck off”. But she just read “Conversations with God”, so she thinks she’s all “above that”. Actually, she was more interested in discussing how we could make her pseudo-boyfriend jealous.
    Dontcha just love hypocrites?

  • Steph

    It’s true! the dog match the kitchen

  • I’ve been spanked by Fanny?

    Heapin’ helpin’ of irony, anyone?

  • Heeheee She got her ass chapped by a fanny!

  • Bucky, please post even when you have nothing to say. Thanks from all of *US*.

  • When Bucky has nothing to say … it’s time to prepare for the Rapture. I’ll bring lunch.

  • Nilbo, I dare you to put on your hip waders and come say that to me.

    Torrie, you’ve let the monkeys loose here again. I hope they’re cheeky monkeys!

  • Oh, and for the record, I do not think you are a white trash hillbilly either, Muffy. Whoever said that is just not nice.

  • Fanny

    Bucky FE- please stop posting if you have nothing at all to say…thanks, from ALL of us.

  • Wassup, Ho Bag?

    That is so my new opening line. I’m sure to make new friends and influence people with that as my icebreaker.

  • Monkey

  • Specifically, Bucky’s genitalia …

  • … alia … alia … alia …

  • Muffy,

    I am going to take a different tack and say you need to bring this MF DOWN. I mean, we can be all mature and try to let it go and say that the energy used to fuck this guy is wasted and blah blah blah, but sometimes a fucker just has to pay, ya know?

    I am going to think on this and if I come up with something really good, I will let you know.

    Case in point, ex-bf cheated on me with 3 other girls. Two of the girls and myself all found out, dumped his ass and ended up getting him back by luring him up into a canyon under the guise of sex (he did not know two of us were along for the ride.) and ended up leaving him there naked with no ride home. I do not regret that for a MOMENT.

  • Not above it, Torrie. But … no. You lose.

  • Mollie

    Muffy, I don’t know you personally or anything, but I do think that Torrie is right. You don’t want to join him down on his level.

    Also, your ideas are now preserved right here on the internet and we all know (thanks to dooce) how dangerous that can be. If your ex ever found this, or someone who knows him found it and alerted him … well, it wouldn’t be good.

  • Muffy

    Molly, My ex would neverlook here. He’s too busy going to church and looking up swinger porn.

  • DId you correct them and tell them that you were a Shit Ass Ho Motherfucker?

    I would have!

  • Well, there’s a conversation stopper.

  • what a frickin’ CUTE DOGGIE!!!!

  • The dog is fine, but I’m more impressed with the clean floor. I have two dogs and I can’t keep my swiffer moving fast enough to collect all the fur flying off the beasts.

  • Muffy

    Anonymous, we talk about poop, nipple hair and worst job experiences. I think this is in the scope.
    Torrie, I’m thrilled about my upcoming nuptials. But what this guy did was so heinous, even my fiancee said if we run into him, I’m gonna have to bail him out.
    As stated before, don’t talk to my family, if you don’t talk to me.
    I WAS over the whole thing.
    Last night I took two xanax and had to knock off before ER was even half over. My man totally understood.
    ANd no,I’m far from whitetrash hillbilly. Got all my teeth and hate nascar.
    I trusted someone and they burned me. Then they went to 10:15 mass. Hypocrisy.

  • Sssssh, I’m in a meeting now and should officially be payin’ attention.

    So, let’s talk about genitalia!

  • Totally with you, girls. I don’t know what you mean about my behaviour, LadyBug. If you scroll and read carefully, nowhere do I say anything at all mean about your shared heart-throb. Honestly, this reading between the lines … tsk tsk …

  • Mighty, dude i’m on the phone


Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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