the smell of my desperation has become a stench
528 Comments
  • Allisoun

    2005/05/04 at 8:26 am

    Yes Annabelle, its used also fo commenting on KBBAW’s life.

  • The Muff

    2005/05/04 at 8:28 am

    Milford by Matamoras! My old flame hails from Mata and lives in Milf now.
    I said Milf.

  • Jessicarabbit

    2005/05/04 at 8:30 am

    I terrorize people with my boobs, and I must say this now as I would assume there will be no comments tomorrow after all this.

    Come one people, its getting close to Chuck Friday here, I know we all want that!

  • Anna

    2005/05/04 at 8:30 am

    That picture of Leta’s playdate with the door makes me grin EVERY TIME I look at it. She’s beautiful, and the happiness is so contagious.

  • Strizz, knows what a Phupa is

    2005/05/04 at 8:33 am

    What about Matt Damon?

  • Allisoun

    2005/05/04 at 8:34 am

    Apples!

  • Allisoun

    2005/05/04 at 8:34 am

    Apples!

  • Allisoun

    2005/05/04 at 8:34 am

    Twice even! ooops

  • Prairieboy

    2005/05/04 at 8:25 am

    That out-of-focus meter looks like some sort of alien robot. I can hear it saying “All your base are belong to us”.

  • Annabelle

    2005/05/04 at 8:26 am

    Annie, I agree, I got a little extreme today, but again, this message board has clearly been proven to be a place for more than simply commenting on Dooce’s photos and life.

  • The Muff

    2005/05/04 at 8:26 am

    Katie: Yea. I worked for Yellow Book and we had a meeting there. I remember getting drunk on the bosses dollar. Not a “college” place though.

    I was lucky in that when I was a little girl, I was my dad’s “fishin buddy”, and we would always go to a bar after a day on the boat. He’d have a few beers and I’d have a few sodas and beef jerkies. We’d play shuffleboard (he would “let” me win and it pissed me off) and he’d bribe me with quarters for the video game machine if I told mom he only had 2 beers (Mom always asked when we got home). So when I was 16, 18, 20, I didn’t really feel the need to get a fake ID or sneak into bars.

    Funny, I have a strange feeling of deja vu. I think I’ve posted my feelings on this before.

  • Kassi

    2005/05/04 at 8:21 am

    They aren’t THE eyes of monsters…no, the actual eyes are somewhere deep beneath the concrete. Parking meters serve as their periscopes…

  • Chookooloonks

    2005/05/04 at 8:23 am

    Wait … your father’s a Republican AND he DOESN’T play golf??

    I didn’t think that ever happened…

  • Closet Metro

    2005/05/04 at 8:23 am

    Bucky @ 109 – I love you.

    What are the odds that comments will be off tomorrow?

  • coskel/whfropera

    2005/05/04 at 8:24 am

    closet metro – I’ll take odds on that one, buddy.

  • Annabelle

    2005/05/04 at 8:24 am

    Katie, I used to live in Milford, PA- is that close to where you grew up?

  • Annie

    2005/05/04 at 8:23 am

    Seems to be some terrorist comment hijackers here. What happened to commenting about Dooce photo’s and life? They were much more enjoyable. Can’t you guys take your chat room somewhere else?

  • LeafGirl77

    2005/05/04 at 8:23 am

    Uh thanks Kassi. I can never leave my house again..

  • Katie-be-bored-at-work

    2005/05/04 at 8:21 am

    I agree Muffy. I went there in college, remember. It was our only option being that we lived in NEPA and the only other option were tiny hole in the wall bars. Even though the tiny bars usually had the best bands. Anyway, The Woodlands has some CREEPY mo-fo’s hanging out there. Ugh.

    Haha, you want to talk about skeezy? Ever been to the Shadowbrook in Tunkhannock?

  • Susannah

    2005/05/04 at 8:21 am

    Ahh…Muff…I do remember celebrating the 20th of April as though it were a national holiday.

  • LeafGirl77

    2005/05/04 at 8:18 am

    As a kid I always thought that the parking meters looked like the eyes of monsters.

    Any other takers??

  • The Muff

    2005/05/04 at 8:16 am

    The WOodlands SUCK IT! Always the same. Scantily clad barmaids that won’t get you a drink unless you got a dick between your legs and a twenty in your hand, and skeevy looking lounge lizard types hanging out on the fringe of the dance floor, eyeing up my fly booty. No thanks. Ill pass.

  • tenderlumpling

    2005/05/04 at 8:06 am

    Jeebus. A hijacker I am not, but this is absurd and I cannot go back to my mind-numbing job without saying my piece. Any sane person who says such things about people on welfare should be beat about the head with the Sense Stick. I grew up on welfare, furnished both by the government and by the LDS church. And hey, guess what! My parents weren’t lazy, nor uneducated. In fact, my father has worked harder than anyone I’ve ever known and he (at 53 years old) has yet to own his own house. You see, kiddies, he’s deaf. And while he’s capable and intelligent and motivated, it’s just too damn much trouble to have a deaf person on your staff. My whole life, people assumed my dad was lazy, or stupid, or both. A computer whiz who lost his wedding ring laying brick for a summer (in the sweltering San Fernando Valley), just to keep us fed. I make no claims that everyone on welfare has a similar sob story. I’m just saying you grow up with a different perception of prejudice, one that has nothing to do with color or ethnicity or religion.

    So thanks for your tax dollars. They’re the only reason my family survived.

  • The Muff

    2005/05/04 at 8:14 am

    Annabelle, you and me, we’re like THIS (not a WORD from you, Pokey!)

    I live in a college infiltrated area. The other night, 3 guys are walkign down the street, WOO HOO WOO HOO! at 1 in the morning. Two of the drunk are cheering the other drunk while he KICKS CARS on his inebriated walk down the street. My one friend had his cars quarter panel and fender kicked in. WHY? Because mommy and daddy pay for the world, therefore, the college kids think they own it. It’s all about them. Didn’t you know that?

    We’re moving to a better part of town within four months. Let the kids kill themselves from car accidents and alcohol poisoning. I really don’t care. Because if you actually confronted the parents about their children’s behavior, you’d get “MY Child would NEVER do such a thing. THAT’s why I sent them AWAY for college. Because I just love having them around the house SO MUCH!”

    Rant 2.

  • Annabelle

    2005/05/04 at 8:05 am

    Hey, The Muff, you are right about the Catholic Church- thankfully they have apologized for most of what you are referring to.

    And everybody, sorry for being depressing.

  • Pr

    2005/05/04 at 8:05 am

    I caught the number and thought I would be looking at an Oldsmobile engine. Now you know where my head was at this morning. God bless, Preacher.

  • Katie-be-bored-at-work

    2005/05/04 at 8:12 am

    I come from Northeast PA which has some of the greatest live bands anywhere. And then I got transplanted into Houston, Texas, where you only occasionally see a geriatric Zydeco band or a howling country western singer at the local bar. Then there are the generic clubs that you speak of, Nicole. I just yearn for the days where I sat back and listened to a good band over a beer. Even a cover band would be okay! But none of that around here.

    (Muff, have you ever been to the Woodlands in Wilkes-Barre? My friends and I frequented that meat market all the time during college. Good live bands, though).

  • Strizz, knows what a Phupa is

    2005/05/04 at 8:12 am

    Tender, I highly and honestly doubt any negative reference to welfare or people on it was baout those whom are handicapped and or *truly* need it.

    I myself was referring to people who can work but choose not to. People who are second, third, fourth generation welfare recipiants who have no concept or interest in a job.

    If it don’t apply let it fly.

  • mrtl

    2005/05/04 at 8:11 am

    tenderlumping, It’s unfortunate that all our media tends to talk about are abuses of the system. Thank you for sharing your story and reminding us of that.

  • naralius

    2005/05/04 at 8:07 am

    Anabelle, we like you

  • Strizz, knows what a Phupa is

    2005/05/04 at 8:09 am

    OMG Muffy, you can’t defend youself against white trashdom and them claim to be a pothead. derrrr

  • Nicole

    2005/05/04 at 8:09 am

    Booty Flies. Susies post last week. Funniest. Damn. Thing. Ever. http://uhohnowlook.blogspot.com/2005/04/booty-flies-from-my-life-in-stirrups.html

  • Nicole

    2005/05/04 at 8:06 am

    Oy! I’ve lived in Austin all my life. Never lived anywhere else. I like it, but I get bored here quite frequently. I’m not a college kid anymore and a lot of the entertainment venues here (well most of them) are bars. I sooooo hate going out to a club and fighting 21 year old bimbos whose skirts barely even cover their pootie-poos and shirts barely contain their hoonanies. Plus it’s the dumb giggles and drunk shouts and squeals that grate on my ears like a fork against a plate. ARRRRRRRGGGGHH!

    Can’t I just go someplace and lsten to some good, live music and have a beer or ten without wanting to bash some brainless twit’s head in for yelling over the music with her friends? Austin used to be, truly, the live music capital of the world. Not so much anymore. The big LA and NY clubs are coming in and buying the live music venues up and putting in Joe’s Generic Dance Club that looks just like every other one around. GRRRRRR.

    Ok, I was only going to have one rant today, but I had to get this one out too. My rants are over…I think.

  • Sherri W.

    2005/05/04 at 7:46 am

    Wait, if “455” is slang for buttocks, is the “554” in the meter numbers another way of saying “ass-backwards”?

    Oh, too much number thought for a writerly type like me…..

  • Strizznizzey

    2005/05/04 at 7:47 am

    Thats why I think everyone who works should at some point take along vacation and get welfare.

    Seriously, people with the food stamp card EAT.BETTER.THAN.ME. And I am the *fat fucking housewife*!!!

    As long as you don’t try to sneak in any toilet paper feel free to get those scrimps and a few pounds of crab legs.

  • The Muff

    2005/05/04 at 7:48 am

    There was a GREAT show on the History Channel the other night about torture through the centuries.

    Funny thing, the Catholic Church kept popping up in the discussion.

    The things that they did in the name of the upper-case church sanctioned inquisitions really makes me feel sorry for our sad species.

    Maybe explains why I’m a Darwinist.

  • Strizznizzey

    2005/05/04 at 7:51 am

    They have torture displays at Ripley’s Believe It or Not in Niagra Falls. HA.

    The kids are all like, “why is that naked lady chained to a woodstove pipe that is burning hot mom???”
    “Because she doesn’t want to overcook the brownies dear.”

    I did get to play on the worlds largest pinball machine. booyacka.

  • Allisoun

    2005/05/04 at 7:52 am

    So move to the burbs KBBAW. I live in Katy and love it!

  • The Muff

    2005/05/04 at 7:53 am

    Strizz…okay. Phupa. whatup. You’ve piqued my interest.

  • Katie-be-bored-at-work

    2005/05/04 at 7:57 am

    I don’t want to move to the burbs. I like Houston just fine. I have always lived right in the Galleria area and work downtown. Although I wouldn’t mind living in the Woodlands – there is lots going on there.

  • Strizz, knows what a Phupa is

    2005/05/04 at 8:01 am

    Hmmm, I think at least one Texan should know. But I’d rather make you guess for a bit.

  • Susannah

    2005/05/04 at 8:01 am

    Enough with the numbers!! Back to the booty flies!

  • The Muff

    2005/05/04 at 8:02 am

    I just wanted everyone to know, I celebrated April 20th in style. ya know what i mean?

  • Brooklyn Julie

    2005/05/04 at 8:05 am

    Poor Dad. At least he can laugh about it. I don’t know if I could laugh if a son of mine played golf. I’ve got issues with my *boyfriend* playing golf – a golfing child would just be too much to bear. 😉

  • Strizznizzey

    2005/05/04 at 7:45 am

    Have any of you heard of a Phupa before?

  • Annabelle

    2005/05/04 at 7:45 am

    Minxjl- I am not for tolerance- that isn’t enough.

    I am for true love, respect, and brotherhood. I am for the end of hatred and misunderstanding and the tragedies that it directly leads to. I don’t want to tolerate and look the other way. I want to learn, listen, be rational, and understand.

    I saw Hotel Rwanda last night and I am supremely horrified just now (the movie served as a reminder since I have known about the slaughter of the Tutsi by their neighbors and friends since it happened, though that year we were all really wrapped up the OJ trial) at how the world can turn its back when its brown people being massacred or massacring one another. God help us all.

  • Katie-be-bored-at-work

    2005/05/04 at 7:46 am

    After getting through the seriousness of Annabelle’s post, and then reading Crayonz’s response that said “My butt talks because I have booty flies”, I almost blew my Deja Blue spring water out of my nose. Thanks for lightening things up, Crayonz.

  • StarsRBrightInTX

    2005/05/04 at 7:43 am

    Way to back it up Annabelle!

  • The Muff

    2005/05/04 at 7:44 am

    Happy Tolerance Day?
    Damn. That means I have to get a card for the welfare/food stamp grabbing ethnic-group-deleted family of nine that lives on section 8 across the street.

    Maybe a nice Anne Geddes card. But then again, that will just give them the idea to HAVE ANOTHER BABY ON MY TAX DOLLAR!

    Get to work. Millions on welfare depend on you.

  • Mike

    2005/05/04 at 7:40 am

    Re: Terrorists.
    The argument seems to be the use of the word. Okay, forget the word terrorist. Bin Laden’s Muslims who happen to be Arabs flew planes full of innocent people into buildings killing other innocent people. Do we all agree with that? If so, then let’s get back to the really fun stuff.

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Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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