An unfiltered fire hose of flaming condemnation
  • Kait

    Re: #89

    I just shot soda out of my nose. THANKS!

  • Does this photo have the dooce effect?

  • Happy Tolerance Day…

  • in my tangerine speedo…..

    lala lala lala…

  • Sherri W (#112), coffee spewing is indeed acceptable collateral damage in my humor war.

    mrtl – you know I would never, ever advise anyone to keep his or her legs closed. Give in to the laughing piss…you cannot resist…

  • #49

    My butt talks because I have booty flies.

    The parking meter was invented in Oklahoma. Stupid, stupid Okies!

  • Bucky, I love you for that comment and the previous one – forward slash asshole is right. LOL!!!
    Off to supervise the intern for a bit.

  • Dooce – I love that your father has such a sense of humor about dogs, golf and websites.

    Bucky – I see how you are, you sadistic beeyotch! You TRY to make people wet their pants. Well, now I’m prepared. It won’t happen again. I listened to your site today with my LEGS CROSSED, thankyouverymuch, and made it to the bathroom without an accident.

  • Muff, I agree wit’ ya. I am tired of this PC crap being shove in my face every day. I mean it seems like once I get a term down for a person’s race or affiliation or phobia or what-the-eff-ever, the next day it changes to something else. I’m tired of it. Call an effing spade a spade and get over it already.

    K, that’s my rant for today.

  • Annabelle

    Holly, again, I appreciate your contributions to the exceptions list, but again, they are exceptions.

    Here is an excerpt from an article published not so long ago in a UK newspaper- I will hijack the statements no more after this.

    “Innocent religion is now a message of hate”
    (Filed: 05/09/2004)
    It is a certain fact that not all Muslims are terrorists, but it is equally certain, and exceptionally painful, that almost all terrorists are Muslims.

    The hostage-takers of children in Beslan, North Ossetia, were Muslims. The other hostage-takers and subsequent murderers of the Nepalese chefs and workers in Iraq were also Muslims. Those involved in rape and murder in Darfur, Sudan, are Muslims, with other Muslims chosen to be their victims.
    Those responsible for the attacks on residential towers in Riyadh and Khobar were Muslims. The two women who crashed two airliners last week were also Muslims.
    Bin Laden is a Muslim. The majority of those who manned the suicide bombings against buses, vehicles, schools, houses and buildings, all over the world, were Muslim.
    What a pathetic record. What an abominable “achievement”. Does all this tell us anything about ourselves, our societies and our culture?
    These images, when put together, or taken separately, are shameful and degrading. But let us start with putting an end to a history of denial. Let us acknowledge their reality, instead of denying them and seeking to justify them with sound and fury signifying nothing.

    Author information- from the Telegraph- a newspaper in the UK
    “Abdel Rahman al-Rashed” is general manager of Al- Arabiya news channel. Yesterday, his article appeared in the pan-Arabic newspaper Al-Sharq Al-Awsat.

  • Bucky (#109): Would you accept coffee spew as an adequate response to terrorism-by-humour?

  • heather i really like this photo. liking the color and lighting. very nice.

  • very nice…meaning behind the numbers:

    4 = Practicality, application, loyalty, rigidity, repression
    5 = Freedom, adaptability, travel, inconsistency, abuse of senses

  • Yeah, good ol’ Tom Delay. He deserves to be bashed. I haven’t seen the billboard myself, but I am sure they will be popping up all over the place around here.

    I agree that having to press ‘1’ for English gets annoying. The other day, I was calling SBC to pay my phone bill and they connected me to the Spanish speaking operator. I kept saying “I DON’T SPEAK SPANISH!” and finally she said “Well, then hang up and call again”. I said “HELL NO. I didn’t ask for Spanish, so speak to me in English. Obviously you can SPEAK IT!” I am all for diversity, but crap. You can’t go anywhere in Houston if you don’t know some Spanish.

  • I believe in terrorism by humor.

    If I can make just one person piss his or her pants in the course of an unexpected laugh, I feel my work is done.

  • Holly

    The IRA (Ireland)
    ETA (Spain)
    FARC (Colombia)
    ALIR (Rwanda)
    Japanese Red Army

    I’d say they were a lot of exceptions to the “Arab” rule. And I could go on.

  • I don’t think it is right to say that Annabelle is ignorant. She sounds very well informed, actually. I think that there are many, many Arab terrorists. That is a fact. But I wouldn’t dare make the statement that almost all of the terrorists are Arab.

    Anyway, enough of that. Let’s all be friends.

  • The Muff

    Think about it for just a second.
    What’s “wrong” with being “racist” or “prejudiced”? If you think about it, your views of anyone are protected, as long as you don’t act on it. Kind of like the right to extend your fist ends where it meets my face. Again, political correctness runs rampant.
    Like why is it “white trash” is perfectly acceptable but let a non-black person say a certain word and, uh-oh, look out. And yet I hear that same naughty word all the time on the Chapelle Show, yet you don’t see the NAACP shutting his shit down.

    To be quite honest, I’m tired of the diversity crap being shoved down my throat.
    I know who I am, you know who you are, and I’m sick and friggin’ tired of having to press 1 for English.

    ah….I feel better after a good rant.
    Hey Katie, you in Houston? I saw the Tom Delay bashing billboard in our local paper. Cracked me up.

  • Annabelle

    God People! Can we please READ????

    I never said ALL- I said almost ALL and it’s true- Katie, thanks for your kindness, but I am not referring to the terrorism that we hear about.

    Jackie, up yours. You don’t know me from a hole in the wall.

  • why are y’all bitching at each other about something not even remotely related to dooce’s site? why should she have to pay for your comment hijacking? jeezy creezy!

    heather, today’s post (GOLF!!!!) cracked me up. just wanted to let you know.

  • My husband is half Hispanic, half German with slightly dark rings under his eyes. Looks dark enough to be mistaken for Middle Eastern on occasion.

    No Polak in me at the moment, but in the past I have dated a:
    Smokorowski (Actually Ukranian)

    And when I dated them I had some Polish pole in me from time to time. Hee!

  • We can go back and forth defining the word terrorist. I agree that politics are quite possible a motive, but not necessarily always the case. Timothy McVeigh was a terrorist – no one can argue that. And he is a Non-Arab. Then there was the UniBomber. Non-Arab. Whether or not they were looking for political gain is up for debate, but they were terrorists 100 percent. And they were white men – American white men. And they killed countless innocent women, men and babies.

    Terrorism: adj : characteristic of someone who employs terrorism (especially as a political weapon); “terrorist activity”; “terrorist state” n : a radical who employs terror as a political weapon; usually organizes with other terrorists in small cells; often uses religion as a cover for terrorist activities

  • Holly

    “Nearly all terrorists are Arab/Muslim”

    Um, ever heard of the IRA?

    Americans didn’t invent terrorism you know.

  • Annabelle

    Please people, go and do your research- Almost ALL terrorists have been Arab/Muslim. Katie, people engaging in hate crimes are NOT terrorists, they are people engaging in hate crimes and ought to be stoned accordingly. Terrorists are people who choose to strike at innocent and unarmed civilian populations IN ORDER TO TRY TO GAIN POLITICAL ENDS- hence hostage-taking, brokering and bargaining with prisoners, etc- bombings in order to scare civilian populations so much that they would pressure their own governments to change their policies. Let’s please not paint with broad strokes. The folks that Katie mentioned are awful, but let’s be clear, they are not terrorists.

  • Let’s not stone Annabelle. I disagree totally with her statement that all terrorists are Arab/Muslim, but I am guessing she meant that all the terrorists we HEAR about are Arab/Muslim. I can guaran-freakin-tee that there are TONS of non Arab/Muslims out there that are terrorists, but our government wants to focus on the Arabs so they can stick around in Iraq. Anyway, I still like you Annabelle. And I don’t think you are backwater.

  • Honk!

  • Jackie

    Keep yappin’ Annabelle. Where you live does not rule you out from being ignorant.

  • Annabelle

    Holly, thanks for pointing out that modern terrorism basically originated in Ireland. However, the IRA are still another exception to the rule that almost ALL terrorists are Arab/Muslim.

    People, really, it’s Okay- accepting this fact does not make you racist or prejudiced. Saying that all muslims and/or arabs are terrorists, however, would make you racist or prejudiced. Can we all try to see the difference?

  • The Muff

    Dang. I cleared the room. I guess all the other “ski”s in room are contemplating my death by boiled kielbasi.

  • The meters ARE numbered 5545 and 5546. This is very weird. What are the chances of that? Bizarre.

  • nice
    nice blog
    nice pic

  • Nah, Muff. I have a little Po-lock in me. I am Ukrainian, so the ‘ski’ last names run rampant in my family. I may just chuck a flaming pierogie at your head.

  • Annabelle

    CatherineTressy and Naralius, I am not off my rocker and if you read my previous posts, you’d find that I work in NY and live in NJ- in a very diverse and progressive community. My husband’s best friend is Libyan and I am best friends with is wife- no whitebread backwater in sight.

    However, nearly ALL terrorists are muslims and/or Arab, and if you don’t believe me, ask an Arab/Muslim- Thankfully, MOST of them are not terrorists and despise the actions of those who are.

    I don’t care if you LOOK Arab, so does my dark-skinned Italian husband. It would be an inconvience if he were targeted for searches at airports (which he can’t be- because of a ridiculous law that says searches have to be random, hence little old ladies gettin’ the patdown). Still, he, I, and our Arab friends are willing to be inconvenienced to help insure the relative safety of our flight.

  • Is it my imagination, or are those meters numbered “5545” and “5546”? The numerological significances continue….

    As for blogging hosts, I use Typepad. It’s not free, but it’s cheap. Besides, I don’t spend nearly so much money on movies and porn (joke!) as I did before my blogging habit, so it all evens out in the pocketbook.

  • The Muff

    I’m Polish, but I look like an asshole.

  • My boyfriend is Hispanic (chilean and mexican) and people mistake him for an arab for some reason. I agree that there have been terrorists that were Arab, but it is a false statement to say that all terrorists are Arab. What about all the white trash Klan members that kill blacks and gays? They aren’t Arab, and THEY are terrorists. Then there are people in just about every country of this world that terrorize others. They can be Asian, or Irish, or Russian, or whatever! It just so happens that our president is focusing on the Arab world right now, which is a shame. I agree we need to protect our borders, and maybe keep a close eye on people coming from certain nations, but we need to watch out for EVERYONE. Not just Arabs.

  • Ah, poor Coskel, nothin’ like html sarcasm.

    At least with his account, you can now classify it as:

    Open tag, forward slash asshole, close tag.

  • Nice urban 455.

    Your poor dad, two dog owners and a golfer; not to mention a world-famous blogger. How does he show his face in public?

  • pretty colors…

  • The Muff

    Giggles is gonna be a grandma (to kitten)!

    From experience (two litters from my Juno in one year), cats are SO MUCH easier than dogs.
    Even if you make a “birthing area” for her, she will pretty much do the deed where she pleases.

    THe first four weeks are easy. She does EVERYTHING! But when they start to roam, momma WILL put themin the litter box, but they will still have “accidents”.

    I still find little kitten poops in rarely cleaned corners. This is why we’re planning on moving. Fecal matter in detritus filled corners just screams white trash.

  • I’m just glad my Mom doesn’t read my blog. I wouldn’t feel nearly as free to constantly discuss her eccentricities and bouffant otherwise.

  • CatherineTressy

    Annabelle, you are off your rocker.

    What a ridiculous statment – that “nearly ALL terrorists are Arab/Muslim”.

    What whitebread backwater are you from?

    Lots of people look like they might be Muslim- hispanic, jewish, people of mixed race, native american – and especially when uneducated cops start concentrating on who they “suspect is a muslim”.

    Lots of surveillance for those “other folks” to have to endure in order to make you feel safe.

  • Spiffy.

  • naralius

    CatherineTressy, I tottaly agree with you. like I said before, Im hispanic, and look like an Arab.

  • anyone else online write standard HTML code?

  • StarsRBrightInTX

    oops…went twice….

  • I’m no expert, Coskel, but whatta ya need to know?

  • just wanted to share the following: a client of ours decided to end his contract with us by sending the following one word in an email:

    (soundque is our company name)
    I am just SO PISSED as his rudeness. He must have gotten his renewal in the mail.

  • marly

    intersting shot – what’s up with all the first, top ten bs?

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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