An unfiltered fire hose of flaming condemnation

Exclamation point, exclamation point, exclamation point, exclamation point

One of the drawbacks of maintaining a public website as anyone who has done this will tell you is that the longer you keep writing online the more people you are likely to piss off. At the same time you are also likely to touch more people’s lives and make more connections, more friends, and that is definitely the most rewarding thing about it all, but it’s that increasing amount of people who scorn you that teach you the most about yourself. How thick is your skin? How much can you take? How do you find a way to continue writing in a way that isn’t affected by what those certain people have to say? And most importantly, how do you find the strength to resist submitting their email addresses to the mailing list, IT WOULD FEEL OH SO TINGLY IN ALL THE RIGHT PLACES.

In the last year it has become almost impossible for me to sit down to write something without wondering what person I am going to offend this time. It’s an involuntary response, automatic, because I’ve learned that there is nothing too small that an opinion can’t be formed about it, like whether or not I use blue in a masthead, or the fact that I have chosen a sans-serif font for body copy, really small things that I wrongly assumed wouldn’t end the world but are in fact so important that because I chose blue and not green I might as well have just peed in someone’s Cheerios.

Because the bad email makes up such a small part of the feedback to this website, though, I feel like it’s part of my job to get over it already. Even though I can’t help flinching once I click “publish” I have to realize that a lot of what people send me is only a projection of themselves, a projection of what they want to see in themselves or their own value system and it really has nothing to do with me personally. It also helps to think of it in terms of someone having a really bad day, that their bad email is just a window into the hard time they are having. It also doesn’t hurt if I just assume that some people are mad crazy psycho.

I tell you this because it’s a question I get a lot, how do I deal with the mean email or the mean comments. To be honest, it’s an ongoing process. One way is to go back and read the supportive email because that’s what it’s there for, and I don’t ever take it for granted. Another way is to laugh about it because some of the stuff that shows up in my inbox is blow-your-mind genius, and after reading a few that I received this week I thought it would be mean of me not to share some of the best here with you.

Email addresses have been removed because otherwise that would be mean, and although you can accuse me of being a bitch I am not a mean bitch. I am the Good Bitch of the North! Also, the text in italics represents my initial reaction to the email with a little bit of Jon’s commentary thrown in.


Jennifer W:
It vexes me slightly that you are starting to become lazy and self-absorbed – what was once a deeply appreciated view in to a like mind, is becoming a boring look at your to-do list filled with fun, next-step activities in your wow-look-at-me life… please heather – take a step back, reclaim the original you-ness that created this treat i give myself everyday called – and stop acting so average like some lotto ticket winner…

[You know what other treat you should give yourself everyday? An enema.]


you have a good blog. please put your sexual picture in your weblog.

[Hey, Mahir, is that you?]


Mindy S:
Oh, dear dooce, I haven’t the slightest problem with you publicly humiliating your dog but this time you’ve gone too far. Those christmas lights merrily draped around the poor pooch contain high levels of lead. Do you not read the warnings? Lead, dooce, lead.

[Deep breaths, Mindy, deep breaths.]


Keri R:
i used to find your writing clever….but lately, it stinks. switch meds. your grammar is terrible. when you land a book deal the editor will commit suicide before your hardback hits the shelf. (and depression is a disorder, not a disease….although the scary things you do to your kid’s hair might change the order of things)

[Need we talk about the non-capitalized sentences? Need we talk about meds?]


Your site has gotten pathetic since either Jon came home and your mind turned to mush or when you became too mesmerized by your own ads to actually type anything interesting anymore! help!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If this continues I wont be reading anymore.

[Can’t talk, looking at ads.]


Jena S:
Sweaty goat balls = Dooce’s new look

[Dude, that’s totally going to be my next tagline: NOW WITH SWEATY GOAT BALLS!]


Alex S:
are you mocking syphilis??? when did this start, you bigot!

i remember when i used to think you where cool. what happened?

[I don’t hate the disease, I just disagree with the lifestyle of the disease.]


Jeff S:
some kids may get cuter as they get older if you are lucky.

[And some cranky men obviously haven’t been laid recently. It’ll happen if you are lucky!]


Apurva P:
Blurbomat all of a sudden puts liberal/democrat party type propaganda on his site. I know we have the 1st amedment but when you turn your personal little blog into a launching pad of political diatribe, I cannot support that – esp when you’re planning on schillling your goods.

I didn’t like the latest picture of Jon flipping off the camera , as my son was with me.. Daddy, what does that mean.. It’s enough to be bombard in the news, tv, but you’d think woulnd’t have crap like that.

[Blink… blink, blink… you’d think someone had never read my website before.]

Anyways, I no longer view your work as cute and insightful into being a mother in Utah, but now I think you’ve just gotten way too big for your britches now that you’re getting paid.

You’ve sold out in the worst way. I used to care for you and your family, now I just pity you.

[Would it have changed your mind if I had sold out in the best way?]


You’ve sold out and lost a reader. You should change your header to “Dooce-Viva la mighty DOLLAR!”

[Thanks for the suggestion, but it just doesn’t have that sweaty goat ball ring to it.]


Michelle W:
your website sux. I loved reading your daily posts and now I can’t even wade through all the bullshit ads. Why on earth would you do this ? Couldn’t you just pick ONE endorsement ? ARE YOU THAT GREEDY ?????

[Yes. And no. But kind of, yeah.]


Tiffany R:
I do have to admit, you are funny when you write about some things and I wish I could just enjoy your website’s funny stories without stumbling across random swear words and false doctrine about my church, but I can’t. It’s everywhere! Talk about a chip on your shoulder! I know there is such a thing as free speech so no one can tell you what to not write. But some of the things you write…I don’t know. Let’s just say I don’t want to be standing next to you on judgement day. The trap door to hell will open and I might fall in with you. (Sorry, I guess that wasn’t very Christian of me.)

[Technically, your church doesn’t believe in trapdoors or hell.]


Keri R:
I can’t stand you.

and your webpage looks cluttered and sloppy and so full of CRAP. it looks like shit.

your writing is shit.

i’ve deleted you from my bookmarks.

i’m starting an “I Hate Dooce” club.

I’ll send you the link.

[Look who it is again! Keri R! Not surprisingly, this is only the second of several hateful emails she has sent me, but I didn’t include the others here because they were disappointingly mediocre in their display of hatefulness. Yawn. I like haters who excel!]


Robert N:
You just blather on about your precocious child, your depression, and your family. What are you trying to say and why should I visit? You seem to be a bright person but totally devoid of insight. All is vanity…

[Vanity. Like sending condescending emails to strangers?]


Walter G:
Everything that you gained will be taken away from you. You are simply a Man-Hating Psycho Lesbian Jealous Feminist! I predict bannishment to the Island of FagLesbian or a re-adjustment camp for you and your ilk!

[The Island of FagLesbian? That only sounds like ONE BIG PARTY. Send me now!]


Mary B:
I am getting the distinct impression that you despise motherhood, and hate your life in Utah. Am I correct in this perception? If so, Leta is going to grow up thinking her mother hated her and hated taking care of her. That can’t be a good thing….for Leta.

[Mary B, let me introduce you to someone. Jeff S, this is Mary B. Mary B, meet Jeff S.]


Rachel N:
you know, i was gonna just send an email to say that you’re the offspring of people having sex with animals..but that really is digressive isn’t it. my goodness, this is really immature, no?

all in all, women like you seriously have no business having kids at this juncture. i’m sure you love your girl, but kids need more than love. they need happy, mature parents.

[I didn’t have a response to this email because I was too high from the cocaine I just snorted off Leta’s bare tummy.]


George M:
My girlfriend pointed me toward your site. I have never read such self indulgent shit in all my life. I now know why she was laughing so hard. You are so pathetic. Get a life. How can anyone talk about their dog, baby shit, etc ad nauseum. Do something. Work in a charity. Get a job. Loser.

[Wait, you have a girlfriend? Still?]


Shannon W:
You have really crossed the line now!!!!!!! I was shocked and very unhappy to see the cover of the book that my uncle worte on the front page of your blog. I always knew that you would mock anything that had to do with the curch, but this really hit home. My uncle worked really hard on putting this book together. A ton of time and effort went into it, and here you are mocking it. This book has helped people, and here you are mocking it.

When I see people mocking all this in someone that I love I STAND UP FOR IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I can’t believe that you have stooped so low!

[I got this email yesterday and read it aloud to Jon and GEORGE! Each time she used an exclamation point I said it out loud, “Exclamation point, exclamation point, exclamation point, exclamation point, exclamation point, exclamation point, exclamation point, exclamation point.” After I was done the room just sat there silent until GEORGE! said, “Ask her if she’s hot.” It may just turn out that my hatemail is the perfect place for GEORGE! to meet Mormon women.]

  • Dude,

    Goatballs are the shit. Sweaty goatballs excite me.

    If you go to the Island of Lesbians with Nifle, take me, too. Lesbians are yummy.

    You should tell everybody, “Don’t hate the player, hate the game.”

    Hope the poops are going well.

  • ShortGrl

    Ha ha ha! I’ll stand next to you on judgement day. I’m sure I’ll be highly entertained while waiting. I find it hilarious that people waste so much time complaining. If you don’t like it, DON’T freakin’ read it. How hard is that? And by the way, that includes looking at the ads.

    However, I’m dumbfounded by the comment, “when you turn your personal little blog into a launching pad of political diatribe, I cannot support that.” Seriously. I don’t even know what to say. That’s the most asinine thing I’ve heard in awhile (and I read the comments on the baby-sleeping post). It’s a PERSONAL blog. He has no journalistic responsibility to remain unbiased.

    To all the haters: Heather has a sense of humor. It’s quirky, dry and supremely sarcastic. If you want Mother Goose humor, go somewhere else. Her intent is good and, in my eyes, that makes it that much funnier.

  • is one of the funniest things I have EVER seen.

  • Carrie D

    Hi! I’ve never commented before, but this post made me just laugh and laugh at all of the crazies out there! I could understand if your website is/was some kind of Middle Eastern torture ritual and these people where chained to the wall being forced to read your site, but unless I am mistaken, these people CHOOSE to visit your site. They aren’t paying you for entertainment or advice!!

    As for the guy that is reading website and looking at pictures with his son, what do you expect? Screen websites before you show them to your children!!

  • I used to think you were cool, but you want to add all those idiots to my QueerWorld mailing list? Sheesh, thanks 🙁

    Other than that, love your site. Just think: if you are pissing off idiots, you must be doing something right.


  • OMG & WOW! Anal and funny at the same time. Without people like this life would be oh so boring. Anal is the new pink.

  • Nifle

    I love you Dooce and you’re horrific, self-indulgent writing style that is grammatically superior to mine! Keep up the good work, post any pics of yourself that you would like and I look forward to the Goatballs.

    PS..if you go to the island of Lesbians, take me with you!

  • Mlwooten

    I would shove a pen in my eye if I had to read some of these emails. It is one thing to be told you have horrible grammar but it is something totally different to be told that by someone whose email contains punctuation issues galour!

    (I’m sure I made a mistake in just typing this!)Make sure you send her a Grammar Police Badge.

    Keep writing! I’m entertained.

  • You know, just reading the comments in italics is enough to make me chuckle – and reason enough to visit your site!! HYSTERICAL!!

    And if the haters don’t “get” your briliant sarcastic humor when it comes to raising your child, your dog, your husband, etc…well, keep in mind, very few of them use spell-check or even punctuate correctly. Not to mention their flagrant abuse of run-on sentences! Small minds are often unkind.

    Whatever happened to the philosophy of if you don’t like it, don’t read it?

    Wish I could be your Internet hit-chick – I’d love to hurl some of those italicized comments for you!

    Rock on, Heather (and Jon) – you are just brave enough to say and write what a lot of us think in our heads.

  • Danielle

    I’m reading this right now because I had to leave work to deal with a water heater spewing hate all over my floor. Yet, somehow, I’m laughing. You always know how to make a girl smile.

    But more importantly, I really want to go to FagLesbian for vacation. Sounds like bliss!!! (exclamation point exclamation point exclamation point)

  • WAIT… who wants to take sex off of my TV!? I loathe those people.. whoever ‘THEY’ are… I want to go to their homes and show them how to monitor their children and teach them how to USE A FINGER to change the channel.

  • Jenn J

    Wow Heather.

    You complete me.

  • I LOVE the guy who called you a lesbian. That’s it Dooce, the jig is up. This front you had of a child and a loving marriage wasn’t good enough.

    Some people shouldn’t be allowed to send e-mails, especially that Keri girl. She needs to go back to English class before she starts talking about other people’s grammar.

  • Oh Lord. I have said it before but I swear to God, I think reading this site has saved my life sometimes. My babe is a little more than a year younger than yours (he’s 10 months, I have no more math skills) and I obsessively read your monthly newsletters when he was one, two, three months old, up to … well, now too but I don’t read it as obsessively anymore, because I’m not losing my mind AS BADLY as I was before. Plus I think you’re wicked funny and I swear to God, those ads just don’t bother me too much. You know why? I have BIGGER FISH TO FRY. These people? Who write these emails? Have no fish. And no frier. And I think I’d go with your assessment that they are CRAZY NUTJOBS and just press delete, even though it makes for great entries, you can’t unread it and it can’t be good for you.

  • I love you Heather, in a total non-lesbian way.

  • Marella

    I still love you Dooce! Just as there are as many haters, there are as many (if not more) people who love you and your blog.

  • iggygrl76

    I (heart)
    Because its honest and poignent and not what people expect to read always and its not always the chummy im the perfect mommy farking blog for the love of god people sometimes , hell most of the dam time, life is not perfect. I like that heather and jon are honest about that and write what they want to write.

    Overly tight assed religious zealots will go to hell right along with all us “haters” because you are bigots, liars, hypocrites and commit herasy in the name of “GOD”.

    IM a religious person but I certainly do not enjoy the HATE so many of you “God Fearing People” put out into the world.

    Learn to love and be loved and learn to be honest. Be the best person YOU can be dont be the best person you think others WANT you to be. I think Heather and Jon have both done that. And if you doubt their love for their daughter all you have to do is see the joy in her face only children who are loved have that joy.

  • Bruno

    I am excited when I get to hit the internet after meetings or lunch as there might be a new posting. You rock. The crazy will soon find this and start the hate postings. Does anyone else get creeped out by the fact that they all seem to come at once?

  • Some of the few who read my site send horrible feedback, comments that are less comment and more pointless nasty unintelligible garbage. But, I figure if I have a right to write what I want for others to read, then they have a write to respond if I am accepting comments. I’d love to delete the idiotic comments off my blog – and may one day. But for now, they stay. *sigh!*

  • conebaby

    I am so jealous!

    If I got this kind of email every day, the sheer release of being a bitch and answering back would probably balance out my serious stress-a-holic problem. That’s it – it’s for sure – next year, when the boyfriend and I move to Alaska, I am getting my own blog and indulge myself in e-therapy.

    Dooce – send me the email addresses and please, please, please allow me to be your correspondence secretary. It would be my dream job!

  • These are the kind of people that want to take the sex and violence off of my TV instead of just turning the damn channel. I hate them all.

  • I still love you, Dooce. Watching the transition from newlywed to pregnant chich to mom to mentor has been inspiring. Don’t ever go away.

  • minkz

    I won’t quit you.

  • syzygy

    Too-Rah dooce!! Public humiliation… I love it. I’ve been reading you since the NY times did the story on the girl who got fired for her “blog” (whatever the hell that is) And you’ve gone from talking about celeb sightings in LA, hangovers, etc to pregnancy, morning sickness, depression, leaking poopy diapers and whatnot. It sounds like life to me and I’m grateful you share. I think the more mellow readers here just don’t chime in as often because they are happy to read you and the more radical opinionated element just really need a colonic.

    of course I will stop reading your blog if you don’t check out the I monster link I left for you in the last comment section. That is a Promise!!! HA.

  • Staci

    Hi Dooce – Your stuff is great…ignore those who are jealous of your wonderful life and your accomplishments!! I am the Mom of two kids, each day when I read your posts – no matter what it is about – it is a joy for me. You are insightful, thought provoking and gifted!! Live it up and be you!!

  • I’m thinking I would totally cry, all the time if I got emails like this. OR, I would start a cult.. you know … whatever came first..

  • Tell the haters to suck it. You rock; they’re jealous.

  • Those are classic. Everyone of them funny for different reasons. I think they all need to read Blurbomat post about “Thinking small vs. thinking Big.”

  • Tracey

    Hey, you know what I do when I don’t like the direction a blog is taking? I DELETE THE BOOKMARK AND NEVER RETURN. Novel, eh?

    For the record, I think you are a fantastic mom (from what I can tell through cyberspace) and I think it’s great that somebody like you is out there telling other moms it’s ok to struggle sometimes. It’s all those people out there that pretend that parenting is always sunshine and roses that are REALLY dangerous.

    And, next to my own toddler daughter, Leta is the cutest kid. Ever.

  • Monika

    Hi Heather

    Okay, I’ve been reading your blog for about 3 years. Now, you’ve grown, and gotten married, and had a dog, and a child, dealt with home problems (kitchen debacle, etc.) and many other things. What happens is that some of your readers don’t grow. They are the people who still walk around with mullets and wear jeans with the elastic waistebands. That’s what I’ve gotten from those hateful emails. They want you to stay the same. Always.


    She’s got the same sense of humour, if you put on mental block on the swearing and flipping the bird, and only recently realized that she DOES post some swearing and flips you the bird, if your own fault for being BLIND.

    Heather, some people have sad, sad lives, they think they even MATTER by bringing you down. They forget that they don’t matter, and try to fill up the void by being assholes. I love you and your family, and 98% of us (your readers) love you.

    The haters? They can shove their emails up their hairy asses.

    Oh, and a side note to Walter G, are you homophobic? Cause it seems like to you, being gay is an insult. Let me tell you that you are an ASSHOLE.

    Thanks =)

  • Major props to you for being able to laugh at all those hatemails. Rediculous as they are, I think it would get to me after awhile.

    What I have to wonder is, if they hate you so much, why are they still reading your website and being offended? You have freedom of speech, and we have freedom of the mouse-click. If a website offends you, don’t click on it. If you accidentally stumble onto a website that offends you, welcome to the internet. If you can’t take the heat, get off the web.

    I’d be proud to stand next to someone like you on Judgement Day. Although I doubt there will be anything as cool as trapdoors to hell.

  • PitPat

    Huh. And I thought I was weird for sending you and Jon advice about Chuck’s anal glands.

    Ads? What ads…? Oh those things on the side that you can easily ignore (though you could also click through and show a lil love) while being entertained and enchanted by stories big and small and delightful photographs? Um, yeahhhh….

    Well, gosh, all I can do is devote a long Bronx cheer to the haters and a toss a hearty dose of love to you, Jon, Leta, GEORGE!, your whole family, the bee-you-tiful state of Utah…

  • Hope

    Make money while being a stay at home mom? HORRORS!

    If people don’t like your blog I am perplexed at why they would read it? It’s not like you’re forcing your blog onto computer screens across the world…

    I think you’re brilliant.

  • Snigelfutz

    I just wanted to tell you that no matter what some limp nuts loser says, you have a beautiful daughter and you do an awesome job on your blog. For the haters who have a problem with you making money from the ads, they are probably just jealous losers. I think it is wonderful that you can make money doing this, you totally deserve it! For the crazies that post the things about your daughter, your parenting, your writing, and your husbands writing, etc… You have reminded me why most people think Americans are hateful bigoted losers! Be happy for someones sucess! Heather and Jon you seem like wonderful parents, keep up the good work!

  • Flambo

    Heather, all I can say is, …I love your site. It has helped me cope with my PPD, so in a sense you have been more than just entertainment – you’re like online therapy! And you don’t even charge by the hour!

    So thanks for keeping it all going, even in spite of these assholes!

  • Jenna

    Hey Heather,
    You rock my world.

    In the morning I check your site out for new posts while my boyfriend is sleeping (I’m totally falling through the trap door for living in sin…) and sometimes I laugh so hard that I wake him up, and I’m not a laugh-out-louder.

    You’re flipping funny and your whole family is fabulous too… Including Chuck of course.

  • skippy

    What a bunch of bitches! I heart!

  • MeAhna

    And. I must say that I admire the way you handle those trolls. I would flip the hell out. If they hate your shit so much, why do they come back? (It’s your flippin page, you could post your sexual picture if you wanted. BTW-I am sure we all want to see it….-tee hee hee half kidding)I gotta say though, you are pretty interesting. You know you kick ass when people you dont even know talk shit about you. (I am also looking forward to the goat balls-good times)

  • mehrunissa

    I’m usually too lazy to comment on anybody’s blogs, but dude…I love people like that, because it makes me feel SO good about myself. I mean, seriously, how can they not boost your ego? If there are fools like that in the world, and you’re not one of them, life is good.

  • MeAhna

    And. I must say that I admire the way you handle those trolls. I would flip the hell out. If they hate your shit so much, why do they come back? (It’s your flippin page, you could post your sexual picture if you wanted. BTW-I am sure we all want to see it….-tee hee hee half kidding)I gotta say though, you are pretty interesting. You know you kick ass when people you dont even know talk shit about you. (I am also looking forward to the goat balls-good times)

  • agog

    I’ve been to the Island of FagLesbian. Best.Party.Ever.

    to The people who are so bothered by the ads. I guess it really is hard to FOCUS ON THE MIDDLE OF THE FUCKIN’ PAGE! Idiots. They’re just jealous that they are on the 9-5 chaingang…

    PS If you use the Sweaty Goat Balls as a header, you totally HAVE to find a picture…

  • I think you should hold a contest for your readers with winners getting a vacation with you to the Island of FagLesbian. We will all submit creative photos or postcards containing the words “I hate Dooce Club.” Extra bonus points if the photo contains pets wrapped in lead or anybody with “scary” hair ala Leta.

  • Thierry

    Hi Heather,

    After being this total lurker for months…

    Those comments, good or bad, are but just a reflection of human nature. It is far too easy to be judgemental about anything and everything because it means you can take your attention away from the most important. Judging oneself is always the hard bit so turning your attention to others is a good escape. At least you don’t have to watch yourself.

    All these criticisms, hate-mail etc, well they may well be a way to exorcise their own demons – who knows?

    Life as I see it is just trying to do the best you can. You make errors along the way, you will fail on some things and achieve greatness on others. The courage is in the trying.

    I am actually a big fan of yours and Jon and in awe at your courage to get public with your private life. I myself could not be so open.

    These comments, at least this is the way I see it, just show that whatever motivation you have is actually working out because it means your voice is heard – and gosh, the reply level is high!

    For whatever it’s worth I just hope that I will be this caring and loving for my family. In the meantime, I will religiously check my rss feed for more of the Armstrongs goodness that makes me think the tough, hard reality of life and a certain sense of humour are still a component of humanity.

    Smooth sailing!

  • Those who can write, do.

    And those who can’t, write doo doo.

    These folks just wish they had an ounce of your doociness.

  • SurprisingWoman

    One more comment, damn I wish I was still single. That Mahir looks like quite the catch. Yummm..


  • First of all, people are stupid. I look forward DAILY to reading dooce and I’ve been going back through the archives because seriously, I just can’t get enough. My boyfriend has accused me of becoming a stalker.

    Secondly, I had to write a paper for college on abortion and got called a baby killer by tons of people via email because I talked about it on my blog.

    When they called me that I just placed this picture on my blog in response:

    Or maybe it had nothing to do with the paper and just the fact that I confessed to killing hundreds of babies all over America.

    Who can say?

  • A friend pointed me to your site about a year ago and I read you daily. I think your writing is great, hilarious and from the heart. Fuck the haters (and the Mormons).

    Oh, and when you go to the Island of FagLesbian, can I come too? 🙂

  • tastelikepink

    Heather I love your website! I always share the stories from here with my boyfriend and he loves it too!!! I think all these people that are complaining should just not look at your site….this is your personal blog and you can talk about whatever you desire. Screw them!! I still love your site and I think you and your husband and your daughter are awesome!!

  • Charles

    I’m a lurker – I’ve never commented before. But when I read this bit, I had to:

    “The trap door to hell will open and I might fall in with you.”

    First, yes! That makes it so much simpler, I always wondered how I was going to end up there, but now that I am aware of the trap door, my life feels so much more complete. I always thought I would have to arrange for cab fare, etc. (is there a trapdoor for the FagLesbian Island too? That would make life a cake walk [Exclamation Point. Exclamation Point.])

    As for your ads: Girl, your content is so fabulous that the ads almost disappear. (Of course I click on a couple every now and then just to do my part for your revenue [Exclamation Point])

    Thanks Heather! I couldn’t live without multiple daily dooceings.

  • OK, there are now no limits to the amount of love I have for GEORGE!

    Also, I think I’d be totally down with a church that eschews a belief in trapdoors. Trapdoors! What the hell do we need them for anyhow?

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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