This here bringer of the pooper to the fun party

Exclamation point, Summer Edition

A couple days ago I got this very funny email from a reader, Laureen:

I’m not one for commenting on posts but I just had to ask. . .how is it that the husband of the daughter of the Avon World Sales Leader may have the West Nile Virus? Don’t you have enough Skin So Soft at your disposal to kill a small horse, let alone repel one renegade mosquito?

Good point! Turns out Jon doesn’t have West Nile, according to the blood tests. Whew, right? AT LEAST THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN AN EXPLANATION. He has been in bed for seven days now, has had a constant migraine headache, backache, fever, and chills. And yet, YET! There is indeed a yet! The man cannot stop groping me. He is so sick that he can’t stand up for 20 seconds without needing to barf, but he can summon the strength to grab my butt inappropriately. If he dies before I do, I can guarantee that while I’m saying my goodbyes over his coffin he will reach up his embalmed arms and squeeze my boobs.

It’s been a long, tough week, and I thought it might be time to feature another hand-picked selection of some of the world’s most condescending hatemail. Because there’s nothing quite as fun as going back to read the email equivalent of hammering nails into your forehead.

Let’s start with this one from Anonymous Chicken Liver:

Jon needs to get a real job again, and you need to be a real mom and raise your child without letting Jon and the babysitter, and family do it. do you even know how to, most importantly do you want to? You know you have NO idea what it means to be a stay home full time mommy. you’ve had so much help and people step in when you failed you missed so much of what your daughter had to give.

Maybe the reason people told you to quit whining is, It’s all all YOU. You need meds for this, you’re a loon, and you go to the physo ward, you blah, blah, blah. You know you have so many people kiss your ass you wouldn’t know how to live without that kind of praise. If these people heard an everyday mother say how she couldn’t wait for the next ten minutes to be over, how her own child drove her nuts and she didn’t want to be around her. they would think horrible mean things about you. But because of blog celebrity they kiss your ass and hope you’ll come to their blog. You have Cancer and it’s sucks, my mother is 62 with four children and 11 grandchildren and she had Lung Cancer–she loves and raised us without my father who worked full time, without the help of others. She hasn’t even shared it beyond the walls of our home. You need and want the sympathy. Good god, Heather grow the fuck up already.

Don’t have more children; poor Leta is trying to figure out who’s the mommy, Jon or the babysitter. Get another dog, they only live for about 15 years and wont pass along on things you’ve done to them to screw them up.

Oh, HI! Sorry. I fell asleep after the first paragraph. Nothing quite as thrilling as a long-winded hatemailer. They are so much more fun to read when brief and full of eye-catching punctuation. Like this one from Ronald:

You dog is STUPID!!!!!!!

That’s a thoughtful critique, Ronald. The only adequate response to this would be: So is you mom!!!!!!!

Next up is one from Mia, a repeat hatemailer:

I mean really, do you have anything better to do with YOUR life than write about your dog licking plates and your husbands shoes? While I understand that cancer is scary (I’m 24 and had to have an ovary and a tumor the size of a grapefruit ON IT removed), you really cannot be suprised that people are a little put off by your tiny bit of “over drama” about a spot of skin cancer. I just think it’s silly that you are saying others have no life, when your life is (other than family, which we all have) writing a blog. Look at things from someone else’s point of view.

My only question is, why did she capitalize ON IT? Was that really necessary? The next time I want to scare the shit out of Jon I’m going to sneak up behind him while he’s changing clothes, poke my finger in his butt and say, “Grapefruit ON IT!”

This next one is from CB, also a repeat hatemailer:

Stop playing the cancer card, Heather. It was okay in that first long post about it. But how stupid of you to mention it in the same sentence as your husband’s clogs. You have no idea what it’s like to really have cancer. Your bump on your arm could be serious, but chances are it’s not. You’re going too far for the sake of having something interesting to say. Shameful, Heather.

Where have I heard that before? Shameful, shameful… let me see… oh, I remember! IN THE LAST 75 EMAILS SHE HAS SENT ME.

Here’s one from Tara:

You are not different then anyone else.
Maybe you doing better because you have a caring husband and a fruitful life style.
Why are you asking for money for doing what you do?
Why can’t I learn from your doings?

KIND REGARDS “‘ In sarcastic voice to myself”

Something tells me Tara doesn’t speak English as a first language.

This next one has to be one of my favorite hatemails ever, from Janet:

How dare you encourage people to help treat stress in their live with a desert? Do you not see how this is how America gets fat? They eat to make themselve feel better, and they gain wait. It’s not healthy, not at all.

I assume she’s referring to this post. I see a masthead in my near future: dooce, leading cause of obesity in America.

Or how about one from repeat hatemailer, Robert:

Have you ever thought about renaming your site to AllAboutLeta.com? At least that would be a more accurate reflection of the subject matter of your web site. I check in, once in a blue moon, to see if you have written anything that would be interesting to someone who isn’t raising a two year old. Your universe seems very, very small.

Once in awhile, you should just climb out of that rut and write about things beyond Leta, your perfect mom, the degenerate Mormons, and the like. There is a big world out here.

As an American I have a God-given right to believe that the world doesn’t extend beyond my living room. That goes hand-in-hand with my right to buy a semi-automatic gun on sale at Wal-Mart.

This next one is from Bill:

If I have to see another “Mom says something witty to their kid” journal, I’ll probably hit myself in the stomach until I vomit my Capri Sun and ranch-flavored rice cakes all over my monitor.

Hookers are a dime a dozen, but mommy attention whore sites are a penny a truck load. You could do the world a favor and delete your site to make room for more interesting mommy blogs such as: www.ibeatmykidswithaspoon.com or www.trainingmykidsforslavelabor.net or even www.whogivesashitaboutmykidsexceptme.cc. It might sound horrible, but much like the body of a motorcyclist wrapped around a telephone pole after he hit it at 90MPH, you just can’t help but stop and appreciate it.

In closing, please get off the Internet.

I was thinking more along the lines of www.BillNeedsAGoodOneUpThePooper.net.

Reader, Brooklyn, has some burning complaints:

I previously delighted in reading your blog for your motherhood opinions and discussions of real issues, but now it’s like who gives a fuck about the fact that boo hoo you have to have your sewer line replaced….please find the life you once had that had a more global outlook. I now check in occasionally to see your photos, which for the most part I believe are interesting photos taken by a talented woman. Please make an effort to make your writing the same. Oh, and for fucks sake, please move on…Chuck Fridays are miserably old…find a new theme. Perhaps you find your dog infinitely interesting, but the rest of us would like to see more photos that extend past your home and backyard.

Brooklyn, just for you, here is a picture of my dog in my backyard:

And another one from Mia:

Your site is boring now. You used to have so much to talk about, but in recent months, that has obviously dwindled. If you were writing this blog PURELY for yourself, you could say “Screw you, it’s for me”. But with the 272937 ads on the page, it’s easy to see it’s a site you’re using to make money. So please, do something for your audience, and write something a bit more thought provoking than how much your dog likes pizza and how you feed your child mostly chocolate. I suspect the reason people continue to visit dooce.com is to see if MAYBE you’ve gone back to your old self. Just like no one cares about a wedding except for the bride, no one cares about a kid, unless it’s theirs.

Whoa, wait a minute. Almost three hundred thousand ad units? I need to talk to my ad network. You’re only supposed to see a couple of graphic ads! Try emptying your cache, Mia. Or maybe? Maybe you should get up slowly and walk away from your computer. Into the loving arms of oncoming traffic.

  • JennJenn

    Holy crap I don’t know what made me laugh more, the comments or the rebutals.

    I can’t for the life of me understand WHY someone would complain about you not being serious enough, or that you write about things that aren’t funny? What?
    People, if you want to be depressed or upset go to one of THOSE sites. You know, children in 3rd world countries who are shunned and left to die because they are born with a disability. Or how about going to sites where you can volunteer for Doctors without Borders and actually DO something with your pathetic life. But for the love of God, don’t waste your breathe complaining here.

    Love you Dooce!
    Oh and have Jon checked for the Hanta virus and the Bubonic plague. Out here in California three people have contracted the Bubonic plague…serves them right for playing with rats. Ewww…

    Dooce on!
    Keep on Doocin!
    Dooce or Loose!
    Dare to do Dooce!….wait that one sounds funny…

  • subloke

    Long time lurker, first time commenter (lame, i know. sorry)

    1. I surreptitiously read you every day at work. I am single, no kids, no connection with the Mormon Church whatsoever and still, somehow, daily I laugh (quietly and stealthily) my ass off reading you. Today’s post was a good example.
    2. I realize that the hatemail can be, well, hateful and hurtful and really actually affect a person, but… so funny at the same time. Thanks for sharing your collection of wackos.
    3. Why do people have to compare and rate serious illnesses like that? “Your cancer is not nearly as scary as my cancer so you do not have a right to talk about it.” Stupid people.
    4. I have an idea for you, which may satisfy all of the lurker/haters who feel that your site content must please them and them alone. Write a “Choose Your Own Adventure” style post. That way, they can get the content that they want. Or, you could do a “Mad-Lib” post. That way they only have themselves to blame for the content they don’t like.

    Please don’t stop making me have to hide behind my monitor silently shaking with laughter.

  • Something that seems ironically obvious:

    Mia, woman of a thousand hate mails, asks YOU if “you have anything better to do with YOUR life”?

    Huh.

    I’m always amazed by hate mail–if you don’t like it, just don’t look. It’s not like Heather has a semi-automatic she got at Walmart pointed at the haters’ heads, telling them they have to read Dooce.com every morning or else.

    Heather, here’s a little love mail: your blog is so enjoyable. I read it every day. Keep up the good work. Plaster more photos and video of your engaging daughter/Dog/husband/clogs/growths/adventures, please.

  • WTF? If they believe you are such a boring read, what does that say about us who come here faithfully everyday salivating for new content?

    Clearly they all need to spend more time sucking the old wrinkly balls of a homeless man.

    Two tears in a bucket…FUCK IT.

  • I’ve never commented here but I think today is a good day to start. I mean, if these people hate the blog so much, why do they take the time to a) read it and b) email you about it? If their lives are so busy and important, shouldn’t they be, I don’t know, saving starving babies in Africa or something? And really, Bill just wants more space on the internets for his klan website.

  • I hate your dog and your kid too.

    I just keep coming back to read your website because I’m just so damn jealous of you and I wish I could have the wonderful family and life that YOU HAVE.

    Damn you Heather B Armstrong.

    Get off the internet!

    ON IT!

  • Brandy K

    You really need to stop forcing these fine folks to read your blog! I mean, how dare you? Forcing them to look at your dog and child, why, I think you’re the animal! And forcing your morality on them, and your unhealthy eating habits? They look to you as a source of guidance in child rearing and nutrition and pet care and wifeliness (I totally just made that word up)…and you give them…oh my…the F word and the truth that motherhood sometimes sucks and food can often be the enemy & your best friend at the same damn time. It’s madness. Can’t. Take. It. Anymore.

    PS-I think you should offer the following template for hatemailers:

    Dear Dooce,

    Long time reader, first (second/repeat) time hatemailer…

  • Well, I think these people are just feeding you some fuel so you will write something else for my day to have a laugh in…
    Heck I tried to send some fuel but I don’t know if it made it to you or that I had the correct address..
    So let me share please to all the haters, or should I say fakers….
    Ya know ya have to shit, fart, burp, pee the bed, pick your nose, blow chunks, get something stuck in your nose, occasionally wipe a tear away from spoiling the little one so much that a problem has developed….

    I can’t write as good as Heather and its so inspiring to read good, proper grammar wrote by someone that is going through common issues in life…
    She is a very good journalist and if you don’t like it then don’t visit…
    I am just wondering when you will write a book with all of what life has thrown at ya..

    I hope my email made it through but not intented as hate…If it didnt then it wasnt meant to….

    Anyways Peace….

  • stefaniwanne

    Things I have learned from reading dooce:

    1. It’s okay to have mental problems, talk about them,deal with them, medicate for them and to simutaneously hate Tom Cruise.
    2. Children are beautiful and you love them always with your whole heart but it doesn’t mean it’s perfect and you like them all the time. Motherhood is hard and it’s okay to admit it.
    3. A bad day can be cured by a good dog.
    4. Living with and loving someone isn’t easy but always worthwhile.
    5. People can make a living doing something they love and be happier for it.
    6. Mormons have crazy beliefs but are generally good people.
    7. Your family can still love you even if your core values differ greatly from one another.
    8. Other everyday people besides me like to say Motherfucker.
    9. Heather Armstrong is a funny shit ass ho motherfucker!
    10. People who write hatemail really need to get lives.
    11. Reading about everyday life, dogs, Leta and clogs makes me laugh.
    12. Heather should rock on with her bad self!
    13. All haters should go back to watching O’Rielly and leave us alone!!!

  • So, if I have cereal with grapefruit ON IT, and I gain weight, I can blame you?

    That. Is. Awesome.

    I just LOVE your hatemail posts. So much more interesting than the other stuff you write about on your blog. Like your life and stuff.

    Get off the Internet! Mia needs space to spread her love. ON IT.

  • Cosmic Girl

    Know what – its much braver to reveal yourself and talk about real issues such as depression and illustrate how it can exist as part of an otherwise ordinary life. It’s quite liberating how Dooce speaks so frankly and proves that a person need not be defeated by such life’s obstacles, and it is still possible to make a successful life against the odds.

    On that note I suspect that the hate mailers are wasting their breaths in bleating on about nothing. It purely serves to highlight their own inner poison and self loathing, for if they really liked themselves, surely they would spend time doing something they enjoyed, whereas reading Dooce apparently makes them miserable.

    Move on, there’s enough hate in the world already.

  • Is it wrong that I get great pleasure from reading your hatemail? Not because I agree with them, but the variety of morons that write in is fantastic. My personal favorite are people who write to ask “don’t you have anything better to do….” because No, I don’t. Don’t they?

  • My God! Words cannot describe, and if they could, all your yummy commenters would have said it already.

    Keep chin up, etc etc. You are queen of internet. Also, I recommended you to a friend (when they asked when I started blogging and where I got my style from!) and they started reading. I got all excited and decided to tell them all about you.

    That’s a bit weird, isn’t it?

    BG

  • GingerCostaRica

    if you get that much hate mail than you ought to capitalize on it. register ihatedooce.com and let the ‘haters’ create the content. at least it would clean out your inbox.

  • birdgal

    These people, A. don’t have kids, B. don’t own a home (or live anywhere that requires maintenance of any sort), C. don’t have sentence building or spelling skills, and D. don’t have a life.

    Yeah, that about sums it up.

  • MissusB

    Sigh. People are stupid. And Brooklyn? Just wrong in the head. Because, of course, Chuck is the shit.

  • truth

    wow Heather.
    wow.
    all these stupid people took the time out of their busy lives to tell you how much they hate your blog?
    hmmmm….
    they must not have a lot going on in their lives in order to focus so much anger towards you.
    hey hate mailers! GROW UP and get a freaking life would ya?
    personally, i DIG your blog Heather. Keep writing woman, keep writing!

  • Hey I love Chuck pictures. Kepp them coming especially ones involving food or stacking things on his head. I come back to your site to see Chuck pictures. Good post for today. I really enjoy reading your hate mail, and your responses.

  • yadayadayada

    I don’t know why those people who hate your blog take the time to read it, other than maybe they don’t have a LIFE! But, you have to admit, they do give you some good material. Love your blog and hope Jon gets to feeling better.

  • Bridget

    There is so much I could say in response, not least of which is that I can’t believe these people go through the trouble of writing such hateful things when life is entirely too short to be angry with strangers.

    But I’ll focus on this instead–people DO actually care about kids that aren’t theirs. I love my nephews and goddaughter more than anything in this world, and Mia is being narrow-minded to suggest otherwise.

    PS–Leta is as beautiful as your writing. Keep up the great work!

  • I got so distracted by the haters that I forgot to add–YEAH, what is it with men? Even with West Nile, malaria, the flu, or in their ‘normal’ state, they all can summon the energy for an innappropriate grope.

    If I could only harness that power for good instead of ee-vil…

  • HalfwayCrucified

    I’ll bet half of these losers gave up on their own blogs because because they couldn’t attract an audience and even their mothers and inbred cousins lost interest after the first week. It’s jealousy, pure and simple (and so painfully obvious).

    The other half will die as they were born: lonely, miserable asswipes who contribute nothing and thrive only by tearing others down.

    Thank God you and Jon have thick skin. Hopefully the good karma from the rest of us makes the piffle from these nits tolerable.

  • Lurker Delurking to comment on the hatemails.

    They crack me up and not because I’m mean, they crack me up because people actually take the time to be mean. Not only do they take the time to be mean, but they aren’t any good at it! Come on, if you’re gonna take the time to purposely hurt someone else, at least make it worth while.

    For example, if someone wanted to tell me, “Hey, Liza, you’re stupid,” they could at least say it like, ” Hey, Stupid Liza, you’re really stupid. You’re so stupid I’m now stupid for even having mentioned your name.”

    Don’t worry, I think you’re great otherwise I wouldn’t keep lurking and reading and having you linked on my blog so I don’t forget to check every hour to see if Dooce has been updated. Nope, I’m not a psycho (oh wait, I mean physo) stalker, I just need something to do when I’m at work.

    As for people who think that you’re blog is boring and stupid to read because it isn’t super interesting, that’s the lamest reason to hate a blog. I personally love to read your blog because IN IT are wonderful things that I can relate to because guess what, my dog eats pizza too!! teehee.

    Right, so now my novel is finished. And now that I have learned how to comment, I may just comment again!

    Have a great weekend!

  • So- if you gain wait, does that mean you become more impatient?

    Those letters remind me of a tabloid I saw recently saying that Tom Cruise’s baby is disfigured. People get so weird over famous people.

  • goodsnake

    Did you notice that you were one of the Quotes of the Day on Google? If you really sucked, I don’t think you would have made it there. You are doing an awesome job, so ignore the idiots and don’t give them airtime by posting about them on your blog. Totally not worth it.

  • Lowter

    I just don’t get it … why would people spend so much time reading something they obviously don’t enjoy and then composing posts about how much they don’t enjoy it. Waste. Of. Time.

  • I’m going to write a scathing email in poorly worded English in hopes Heather will publish it and I can bask in the radioactive heat of her scathing reply.

    I’ll be quasi-famous for like half a second. It’s gonna be bitchin’

    April

  • Rachel

    To Anonymous Chicken Liver,

    What century are you living in? Jon is Leta’s father… Why shouldn’t he take care of her? Also, if Heather can make enough money on this site to support her family and allow them to be home together most of the time, then that’s wonderful. So many familes aspire to that but, because of personal circumstances, never can.

    As for the comment about the ads… They don’t obstruct my enjoyment of the site. If I’m not interested in a particular ad I ignore it. I can do this cause the ads are very low key.

    You people have too much time on your hands.

  • jen

    Dear Heather,

    I don’t think “you dog is STUPID!!!!!!!!!!!”.
    I said it before, and I’ll say it again: Stuff + Chuck = Awesome

    Thank you,
    Jen

    p.s. Watch out for wait causing deserts. All that heat & delay is so inconvenient.

  • I hope Jon gets better soon, that is a hell of an illness. I hope he does not get grapefruit ON IT.

    Thanks for making us laugh with all your awesome hate mail; you have truly made it. I just wish they would not dis on Chuck like that.

  • yankeyhotel

    Oh man, I hate people, or at least sucky people. Which is exactly why I like this site, it is written and about by unsucky people. Well, I am not sure that made sense, but I like your dog. I think eating things that are bad for is fun (chicken fried steak covered with queso, mmmmmm!). And I like the mundane. Everything that is good in life is small (when your kid laughs, your dog farts, a cigarette on a hot afternoon and making fun of other people) , the really big things never seem to be as good. thanks again for amusing my day.

  • i always get a kick out of your hate-mails when you post them. thanks for some good laughs, but my favorite has to be the one from janet.

    does she proof read, because treating stress in your “live” with “desert” sounds a lot different than eating a delicious deSSert. (seriously, didn’t she learn the “desert has one ‘s’ because you want less, “dessert” has two because you want more” thing in elementary school??) and i don’t know about you, but if i do eat too much dessert, i gain WEIGHT, not “wait.”

    keep up the good work!
    love,
    another 23 year old without a husband, sewer, kid, or dog that can balance 16 jerky sticks on his head, but still reads your blog every day.

  • doodlepie

    Is it me, or is the hate mail getting more and more lame as time goes by?
    These people used to me so much more creative. Not even a chuckle out of me this time… I almost fell asleep reading this last post.

    What happened to you guys? In a writing funk? Hate-mail writers block?

  • rockr girl

    WHEEE!!!

    i LOVE hatemail posts!! seriously, its one of my favorite, special times as a dooce reader. and, really, maybe i’m slower than some of the hatemailers, but, i never noticed that Fridays were Chuck-themed. and if they indeed are, well, then, ON IT! or something…

    oh, yeah, and perhaps “ms poopy-pants stick-up-her-butt” who is angered that you are not writing a blog FOR HER should go back and listen to the Kottke/dooce debate on ads/money/subscriptions from SXSW XX. if she really wants to be pissed off, then she can go pay $4 a month to read a blog that STILL won’t fulfill all of her blogginess needs. its the internet, people. go elsewhere if this annoys you so much. Call Al Gore; i am sure he will have some great recommendations of sites to visit. shit, he invented it, right?

  • well here i was all ready to hate on you, but i can see that’s been taken care of.

    now my afternoon is free to go kick the handicapped, burn down churches and eat babies.

  • MMMMMmmmmmm, babies…… So tasty. With peanut butter. ON IT.

  • Carol

    I can’t believe people send you crap like that.

    Personally, your writing – about it all – means a lot to me. And I love your whole family: your wonderful husband, precious Leta and the patient and hilarious Congressman.

    Love you Heather – Don’t stop!

  • Every single one of these people needs a big fat drink and someone to teach them how to chill the fuck out. You’re not forcing anyone to read your site (or are you?!). You’re life is much fuller than theirs, considering all they seem to have time for is writing you hate mail. — Keep rockin’ the Casbah, Heather!

  • I highly suspect these hatemailers are the kind of people who write networks when thier soap opera characters don’t do exactly what they want them to do. Somehow, the logic extends to real life people who write blogs. “If you don’t write what I want you to write, I’m going to bitch and complain, because somehow my words will magically change Heather’s life so she can talk about something else!”

    You’ve gotten nothing but better over the past years. Sure, your topics have changed, but the worst sin of all is to refuse to change.

  • bookworm

    Hmmm, you write a personal blog about your life and family, and there are people out there who don’t like what you write.

    Gee, do you think that maybe they should, I don’t know, not read your blog?

    What a novel idea.

    Personally, I read your blog on a daily basis and look forward to the monthly newsletters to Leta – they make me laugh and cry, and I hope to God that when I have children, I’ll be able to express my love for them half as well as you do. And please keep the Chuck photos and videos coming! I want a Chuck of my very own.

    The hatemail is good for a laugh though. Makes you wonder what these oh so bright, intelligent people do with their days. Oh yeah, they’re reading your blog! Must not be too bright or intelligent, if they spend their time voluntarily doing something they hate.

    Sherri

  • sorry for the double post. while i’m fully trusting in other people’s hatred of you, my computer feels the need to express her own.

  • Every single one of these people needs a big fat drink and someone to teach them how to chill the fuck out. You’re not forcing anyone to read your site (or are you?!). Your life is much fuller than theirs, considering all they seem to have time for is writing you hate mail. — Keep Rockin’ The Casbah, Heather!

  • Yea, this post illustrates perfectly why I’m GLAD no one but my mom reads my pathetic little blog.

    Fuck ’em Dooce, you ROCK!

  • Chris J

    Hi Heather,
    I LOVE your site but have never commented before. I had to sign up more a TypeKey account just to say FUCK THEM! Most of your readers, I’m sure, love to read about whatever it is you have to say. If people don’t like it they should STOP READING!!!! You are entertaining, funny and post lots of great pictures, whether they are of Leta or your dog or whatever else. Nobody is forcing the hatemailers to read your blog, so there is no need for them to send hatemail as if you are writing just to spite them. They should all just get off the high horse and move on!

  • laurelforest

    Heather – I’ve always said it’s better to be hated than not noticed. I blush to think how small these hatemailer’s lives (can’t figure out where the apostrophe s goes) are, though. Your blog is what inspired me to blog – as Frank the Tank said to his soon to be ex-wife, “Well, keep, keep truckin!”

  • oromat

    When I’m feeling particularly down and vulnerable, I call my sister. My sister never fails to tell me, “There are people with much bigger problems than you in the world. You should be grateful.” Why do I do this to myself? Probably for the same reason you endure the crap you have to read in response to your posts. What your gentle readers* fail to understand is that it’s not a pissing contest to see who hurts more or longer. There are indeed people with bigger problems in the world; there are also people with smaller problems or no problems at all. The point is that whatever you are dealing with is real and what you are feeling is real too.

    Believe it or not, your cancer post motivated me to make an appointment to see a dermatologist next week. I’ve got a funky raised patch on my leg that I’ve been ignoring for a while.

    *are you sure these emails aren’t from the same source? I’m pretty sure it’s my sister on the other end!

  • I find it strange that people tell you what to write on your own site. And that people come again and again to complain about how you “have no life”. It really makes me wonder whether or not they know what a blog is. Personally I don’t think this is a very good blog but I’m not going to sit here telling you that you need to change it. You’ve tapped into something very profitable, which is controversy. Which I think is the only reason you get so many hits, which is the reason you advertise on the site, which is the reason you respond to hatemail. Because it gets more hits. So really if you changed to what people wanted, well then your site wouldn’t be so interesting. I’m sure I’m just stating the obvious, but it doesn’t seem that anyone else could put it together.

  • Why are they even taking the time to REPEATEDLY come back and read, and then send you hatemail about how much they didn’t enjoy your site? Am i the only one who, if i come across a site i don’t particularly enjoy, moves onto something else?

    If it doesn’t interest you, why don’t you move along?

    Heather, my blood is boiling. Who wastes their time saying hateful things to someone they don’t even know? They’re jealous, they’re pathetic, and they have nothing better to do with their time.

    You’re strong, you’re courageous, and you’re very entertaining =) Thank you for always being so open with us and not letting a few hateful monsters ruin your willingness to share your experiences with us all.

  • manduca

    What the hell did you do the that pic of chuck in the yard? The detail is amazing, the color, the shallow depth of field, the lighting, chuck’s silky fur… I love how Canon makes the colors pop by default (like this pic, http://www.flickr.com/photos/buttercup/218580533/ that i took with my lil SD 450). Seriously, what post-processing did you do to that pic? OK, and while I’m in interrogation mode, how you do motivate to carry your D70 around as much as you seem to? I find that I get lazy and just carry my teeny snapper instead. Le sigh.

    Best,

    Manduca “I laugh at hate mail” Sexta

  • DDM

    Dear Dooce Hatemail Authors,
    Don’t read this site anymore, FUCKWADS.