This here bringer of the pooper to the fun party

A living illustration

Yesterday was a terrible day due to the unpleasant mood of a particular child, and during one brief 20-minute period when she wasn’t clawing at her face she said a few cute things to herself, like, “My mom’s name is Heather Armstrong,” and, “My dad’s name is Jon,” and for a moment I forgot what I was dealing with and asked her, “Leta, are you adorable?”

Which was the wrong thing to ask because she fell in the floor and started screaming, “NO, I AM NOT ADORABLE!”

And since there was nothing left to lose I just kept at her, “Why are you not adorable?”

“BECAUSE I AM NOT ADORABLE!”

“Are you being contrary?”

“I AM NOT BEING CONTRARY!”

“I think this is the definition of being contrary.”

“THIS IS NOT THE DEFINITION OF BEING CONTRARY!”

And she said all of this while violently shaking her head. Who wouldn’t want one of these?

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