An unfiltered fire hose of flaming condemnation

With a canteen of NyQuil hanging around my neck

Because I’m still violently ill this is going to be a somewhat brief message to say that I am very sorry I did not update much while we were in San Diego, it’s just there were reasons, plenty of reasons, Jon got sick with a fever and chills the first night we were there, then Leta got sick and was in bed for two days with a fever, and then I got so sick that I threw up for over 24 hours and became so dehydrated that we had to go to the emergency room at 5 AM on Saturday morning, only a few hours before getting into the car to make the drive home. All three of us still have major head congestion and persistent coughs, and although my nausea has subsided a little I can barely eat solid food without half of it lodging squarely in my esophagus, I know you wanted to hear that specific detail, you’re welcome.

Yeah, so this trip can just go ahead and suck it. It was one of the worst weeks of our lives, and we wasted a boatload of money lying around sick in a hotel room ordering ridiculously expensive room service because we were too sick to get up and drive to the nearest Wendy’s. Friday night into Saturday morning will go down as one of the worst nights of my life, and the dehydration was so severe that my body started to shut down. I’ve been sick many times in my life, but I can honestly say I have never felt worse than when I was lying on that hospital bed hooked up to that IV, my body unable to lie still because of the chills, the anti-nausea medication NOT WORKING. And then two hours later I had to climb into the back of the car and ride seven hours to the middle of Nevada. At first I was incredibly angry at Jon for forcing me to endure that kind of pain, the rolling back and forth and feeling every bump in the road when I was already nauseated, but he was a hero. He got us packed up and loaded and he drove us the entire way without a single word of complaint. And he was sick the entire time, too. Jon, I forgive you and give you permission to smother me in my sleep. Go on, do it. I know you want to.

There were a few brief pockets of fun hidden here and there during the week, the few walks we took on the beach with the dogs, watching Leta get so excited about the novelty of staying in a hotel room (whatever Disneyland, this summer we’re headed to Motel 6!), but now that we’ve had that taste of sun and temperatures above freezing we’re a little tortured by the memory of it. Especially since right now as I type this a category four snow storm is hitting Salt Lake City. It heard we were coming home and it missed us! How cute of the snow!

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Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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