the smell of my desperation has become a stench

The law of being an outright turd

Coco is such a four-year-old kid in the sense that she’s not interested in anything other than what Chuck is playing with. She fought for that tennis ball for over an hour, and when Chuck finally got bored and relinquished it she stood there like, wait a minute. This toy is not valuable if my having it does not infuriate you. They teach this principle in high school science classes.

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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