the smell of my desperation has become a stench

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If we left the front door open like this all day neither of these two dogs would move from that spot. But there is this inevitable sequence of events that happens whenever we open the front door, someone will walk by, or maybe a leaf will blow across the driveway, we never know, but Coco will lose her mind and start clawing at the storm door while barking vicious obscenities. And it takes her several minutes to calm down even after I’ve closed the door and told her to SHUT IT, she’ll walk around in circles huffing and shaking her head like she cannot believe the outside world DARES TO EXIST. Oh, puppies.

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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