the smell of my desperation has become a stench


Enjoying a good half hour of the National Geographic Channel. Chuck can remain calm despite all the animal noises, but in just a second Coco is going to start howling at the television because she heard a bird fly past the camera. My friend would say that she does this because she routinely eats retard sandwiches. Note: I WOULD NOT SAY THAT. MY FRIEND WOULD. THERE IS A DIFFERENCE.

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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