An unfiltered fire hose of flaming condemnation

A routine expedition

Saturday afternoon I checked my mailbox and found a package from a reader named Lindsey full of t-shirts silkscreened with images of the characters from Land of the Lost. I bet half of my readers haven’t ever heard of that television show, and if you’re one of those people then I am very sorry that your childhood was so unfulfilling. I bet you never owned a My Pretty Pony either. These are surely unresolved issues that you should bring up next time your family gets together for dinner, right after your father turns to your sister and says, “You were always the pretty one.”

I was so excited about these shirts that I actually stripped right there in the kitchen to put one on. I gave a cursory glance over my shoulder to see if there were any neighbors passing by the house, and Jon just shook his head because he knows that even if there had been I would have stripped anyway. It’s not that I’m trying to tempt the old Mormon up the street, it’s just I’d have to walk several feet into another room to find a place that you can’t see from the street and that is just too sensible. The part of my brain that would tell me to walk to another room is missing. It’s the same part of the brain that would stop me from putting on a pair of five-inch heels when I know I’m going to be walking half a mile uphill. In that situation all my brain says is THAT’S WHY GOD MADE BAND AIDS!

I chose to wear the shirt featuring a portrait of Chaka, a small chimpanzee-like humanoid:


After I pulled it over my head and straightened it out over the top of my shorts Leta took a step back to admire it.

“I love your shirt, Mama,” she said. I was waving my outstretched fingers around it like a model on The Price is Right, and before I could thank her she continued, “Is that a picture of Daddy?”

  • Chiming in … another 30-something who LOVED “Land Of The Lost”. I still remember the day I made the connection that the same actor played both Will and some dude on “Days Of Our Lives” (which was my mom’s soap opera at the time). Suddenly I realized that none of it was real, and somehow that made it all okay. 🙂

  • That show simultaneously scared the hell out of me and thrilled me. Every time I heard the sleestacks breathing – sort of like Darth Vader with emphysema – I would clutch my brother and wait anxiously for them to appear. WHY don’t they make shows like that anymore? What will my kids watch? Teletubbies??? I don’t think so.

  • Ouch… But at least he’s rocking the argyle!

  • Land of the Lost! Wow. That brings back memories of my sister and I squeezing into my dad’s chair to watch it on Saturday mornings.

    Land of the Lost rocks but Leta rocks more!

  • Amber

    I’ve never posted before (and have read your site religiously for three years) but I feel compelled to say two things:


  • Tami A.

    LMAO! I love that kid.
    Cool shirt btw, no clue what that show was but on my defense I was born in Argentina, so I’m good. And My Little Ponies did make it there, I had 2.

  • Leta’s cool.

  • sara

    My brother and I loved this show. He emailed me not too long ago to say that Hollywood is turning this into a movie!!!

    Where can I get these tshirts????

  • That is the best thing I’ve ever seen in teeshirt form, and Leta’s remark? Spectacular.

  • Well, thank whomever you believe in that I am not the only one who remembers this show! Dang, when I use the sleestak reference and get empty stares my blood just boils! And “is that Daddy?” – that made me shoot milk through my nose…now where to get my hands on some of these t-shirts…

  • Man Leta sounds so funny sometimes! I would have loved to have that scene on camera. These are the type of family moments you wish you filmed or someone else was there to see it. Poor dad though!

    Great post.

  • Anonymous

    Ummm, Heather~~~am I your grandmother ? I was just fixin’ to turn my 4 yr.old grandson on to “Mighty Mouse”,”Flipper”,”Sky King”,”Heckle and Jeckle”,”Captain Kangaroo”,”Romper Room”,and of course, the tv show featuring Coco and Chuck’s ancestor–” Lassie ” !!! ” Land of the Lost ” ? What the heck ? And hugs to Leta for making my day ! You rock, Baby Girl !

  • It amazes me how many cool t-shirts they are making these days. That is a very cool one.

    And like everyone already said – you have a very funny daughter!

    Keep up the good work.

  • I only remember the 90s remake from Nickolodeon. Did you hear they’re making a Will Ferrell movie?

  • Zach: No, I too only recall the 90’s remake…though I didn’t know it was a remake until now. And I must’ve been around 7-8 too! No wonder none of the opening lines sounded familiar, except for the name of the show. I’m surprised I even remember that…It’s been so long!

    Great shirt, though. This is my first time posting here, too, but I love the blog and pictures and videos. Yay Leta!

  • I loved LOTL. I always wanted a cave to climb up into like theirs.

    My entire life I’ve had a recurring dream of this monstery thing roller skating in a garage…and then my sister bought me a DVD of Sigmund the Sea Monster and then I realized it had been a TV show all along.

    Facing your childhood nightmares on a large flat screen is an interesting experience.

  • Lyn

    I loved that show. We had to SNEAK to watch it with the sound low low low so as not to get busted! I didnt know i could buy the whole series but I’m going to go out RIGHT now and do just that.

    PLEASE share where we can get those shirts!!!

    Thank you for your blog. Thank you so much!

  • Ann

    I always loved their caves, too!! That was my favorite part. That and the jewels that lit up! And I always felt sorry for the kids, that they couldn’t see their mom… but didn’t they have a dream one time or an apparition and the mom was wearing a red & white check apron??

  • You can’t pay kids to say stuff like this. Or can you? Do they perform on command? Certainly the ones I know don’t. They are like that singing frog from the Warner Brothers cartoon.

  • NEEEEEEEED. I assume if she’s gonna make a thing of ’em you’ll post a link? 😀 SO awesome.

  • I’d like to send you goods and services from Bendover, however, be forewarned that before you strip to use them there will be itching and a slightly oily residue.

    Got a shirt with that damned talking flute on it? I want that.

  • poptart

    Oh, I remember as it was one of my favorite Saturday morning shows…it was really good and a little spooky, those sleestacks….

  • joolieblue

    Has anyone posted this link yet?

    I loved this show! Much more than my kids did!

  • Wow, I watched re-runs of that show in the early 80’s. Truly had forgotten about it until you mentioned it.

    I couldn’t ever get into the one that came out in the 90’s that was like Xena.

  • Kathy B.
  • Color me reptile – I have loved Land of the Lost for years and even committed the theme song to memory (so sad). Will Ferrell is currently making the motion picture version of this masterpiece. Chaka is such a hottie. We write about the 80″s in great detail on our blog and are obvious huge fans! Val & Paker, “First Class to Hell”

  • So, you’ve just solved a several year mystery for me. For the longest time I kept asking people “what was that show where a jeep falls through the road and then there are dinosaurs??” and NO ONE knew what I was talking about. I was starting to think I made it up. Gah.
    So yes, thank you 🙂 For clearing that all up 😀

  • LMAO! Sure do remember that show. And the guy who played Will also played Mike on Days of Our Lives. I was also a big fan of H.R. Puff-n-stuff. Little did I know as a child what Puff-N-Stuff really stood for. 😉

  • Christianne

    Okay, so my hub and I were JUST TALKING about Land of the Lost this weekend! I can’t believe you just blogged this, on the very day after I looked up this show on YouTube to watch and listen to the theme song after all these years. I cannot believe how primitive it all looks. When I was a kid, that was the coolest show ever. So fun that you got these great shirts!

  • I am so totally jealous. I loved Land of the Lost, as did Hubby, who happened to glance over as I was reading this post and blurted out “Chaka!”. Yes we are nerds and proud of it!

  • Thank you for sharing that little joke from Leta. Put a smile on my face this early morning. She sounds like a wonderful young lass more and more everyday.

    Cheeky too!


  • Not only did I love Land of the Lost as a child, but that story made me laugh out loud, this sounds like something that would be said around my house, either when we were watching the show, or now that my niece can talk.

  • GK

    Out of the mouth of babes, love it.

  • You are SO HILARIOUS! Thanks for the laugh! And, wah? I didn’t own a My Little Pony…. And, I don’t know that show…. And, I do have a younger sister…….. 😉

  • And Jon said??? I wonder if he’s getting a sense of being outnumbered. 😉

  • Amy Smith

    ok-so you know that the LOTL movie is coming out next year, and is starring Will Farrel. I can hardly sleep at night.

  • i am a loyal reader, and i don’t think i’ve ever commented before.

    i’ve also never barked with laughter while reading dooce before.

    don’t get me wrong, i love you and your humor. it’s just that it takes a lot to make my shriveled heart brighten, and nothing is better than calling your husband a proto-human. (this is not sarcasm.)

  • Oh haha! Your little girl is something else!
    I oved that sow, BTW! Good times

  • Well damn, I swear, I *did* check my spelling on that last comment. Time for bed. ~Le sigh~


  • HA! Well. That’s Leta out of the will. More for Chuck!

    Oh, that Leta. She’s so cute.

  • My nickname in high school was Chakka.
    A gold mine of t-shirts!

  • Definitely have been remembering the 90s version of this show for awhile now but could not remember the name…

    Running into it here is yet another reason I check this page 🙂

  • Livin’ in the land of the LOST!

    OOOOMMMMMMMMMMGGGGGGGGG! I loved that show so much, and my bf and I are always talking about it. That shirt is saweet!

    And I dearly loved my herd of MLP’s. My sister threated to burn one in a fire one day and I about had a heart attack. Of course that was 12 years ago…but it seems just like yesterday! 🙂

  • Kristen

    Didn’t Holly and Chaka have a weird relationship? Kinda like he was her pet, but not really because he was a little human-like. I think she was diggin’ him.

  • Betty

    LOTL! Many of my childhood nightmares were populated by the Slestaks… that darn noise that they made. However, my favorite sneakers are the ones we call Slestak sneaks, the ones from Nike with the cleaved toe. HA!

  • this was my favorite show as a kid!!! i can’t believe your shirt, i al laughing so hard right now! i’m off to scour youtube for episodes. girl, i knew you had that special something, i just couldn’t put my finger on what it was. now i know!

    did you used to get bummed out when another sid and marty croft show would come on instead? i was always so disappointed when that happened. but if the lotl theme song came on i felt like i hit the jackpot!

    so fun to remember! thanks for that.


  • LOVED this show too. Every time I hear the Land of The Lost mentioned, I hear the eerie sound of the sleestack HIISSSSSSSSSSSSSSS. I think they are making a remake too. Go Will and kids! Didn’t they have a pet dinosaur too?

  • zjlmomma

    I have 3 older brothers and after we all watched that show they would act like sleeslacks and chase me around. Having an underdeveloped sense of reality I was terrified beyond all reason…EVERY Saturday morning. Awsome shirt!

  • So, I was reading this post and the subsequent comments, and I was confused.

    I was born in 1985, and I distinctly remember a show titled “Land of the Lost” airing when I was around first grade-age. It was definitely NOT a 70’s version, but many of the elements (sleestaks, dinosaurs, family in jeep-dropped-through-earth’s-crust-or-whatever) were the same.

    Turns out it was a remake of the original and aired from ’90-’92.

    No Chaka, but I still loved it dearly.

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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