the smell of my desperation has become a stench


The ultimate blend of luxury, beauty, and sophistication, Chelsea is in a class all her own. She will simply take your breath away! A world-traveled, cultured, blue-blooded pedigreed, quadri-lingual, exceptional companion. She is warm, incredibly charismatic and outrageously fun loving, oozes sex-appeal and loves to create incomparable memories for her chosen few, lucky suitors! Have your credit card ready!

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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