the smell of my desperation has become a stench

On this day many, many, many years ago

Today my beloved husband turns 43 years old. This morning before either Leta or the dogs woke up he turned over in bed, rested his head on my chest and said, baby, I want to grow old with you. And I was all, um, that’s already happened.

Tonight my mom is taking Leta for several hours because I told Jon that for his birthday I’d let him have sex with me. For his birthday last year he only made it to second base, and I told him, you know what? When you turn 43? I’ll let you go ALL THE WAY. And I promised him it would be way better than a new iPhone.

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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