the smell of my desperation has become a stench

Sage Toile Dress

I found this dress for Leta at the Kate Emerson Designs Etsy shop, and the reason Leta isn’t modeling it like all of the others I found recently is because I made the mistake of telling Jon to dress her, and he couldn’t figure out how to cinch the top of the dress so that it rested on her shoulders, and that totally freaked her out, she started yelling IT DOESN’T FIT! IT DOESN’T FIT, even though it fits perfectly if YOU PUT IN ON HER CORRECTLY. And now when she sees it she starts this raging monologue that goes IT’S TOO BIG! IT’S TOO BIG!, and oh my god, I am surrounded by nutters.

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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