the smell of my desperation has become a stench

Good thing he matches the towels in the bathroom

Jon’s mother used to tell Jon that he had potatoes growing in his ears and that’s why she had to clean them out with q-tips. We both thought this was adorable, and so this is the explanation we’ve given Leta, not thinking we’d get to school one day and her teacher would confront us and ask us why we put potatoes in her ears. My answer was that we ran out of room in the pantry.

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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