This here bringer of the pooper to the fun party

4/4 time

I think the best way to describe what it’s been like to bring a second child into the family is to imagine having a jazz band blasting an improvisational set in your left ear while listening to the Mormon Tabernacle Choir singing Christmas carols in your right ear, and there you are, a drummer in a rock band, and you’re on stage in front of 30,000 people trying to keep the beat to an acoustic version of “God Save the Queen” by the Sex Pistols.

I’m trying to find the rhythm. I’m getting there, but it’s slow going. This is all to say, thank you for being patient with me, I know posting has been light and it will continue to be for the next little while as I navigate a path through all this chaos. I’m still physically healing, and even though I gave birth without any drugs, the recovery has been just as painful and frustrating and ongoing as it was after giving birth with an epidural. I’ve got a post coming about labor, about how transforming the experience was for me, but it’s a long one and I’m still hammering away at all the tiny details. All while attached to my adorable, chubby caterpillar who from day one made it quite clear that she’d rather be no where else on earth than nestled right into my chest. I will tell you this, it has been so much better this time, still a little bumpy and rough here and there with one or two absolute freak outs, but I’ve been so much more diligent about taking every moment I can to stare at her and adore her every feature. And the weirdest thing has happened, this whole experience has increased my love for Leta by a measure I didn’t know was possible. I can say that right now, here this morning as my second child dozes on my breast, that I have never been happier in my entire life.

  • marcia

    The second one is so much more fun than the first.
    Enjoy!

  • Amy

    That baby has some EPIC cheeks. Could she be storing extra breast milk in there for on-the-go snacking?

  • so happy for you.

  • jessica

    beautiful.

  • We are expecting a baby girl right now…our first. I have been reading your blog since it launched…and you have always been an inspiration.
    You and your family deserve every happiness. I am thrilled for you all.

  • Angie

    When my second was born, I really tried to take the time to enjoy him as much as I could. But life still managed to swirl us three years ahead, and I now struggle to remember the feeling of holding a newborn or the feeling of my 5yo daughter being a toddler . Not much you can do to stop time. But the surge of love for the first child: that doesn’t go away !

  • Aza

    Oh my God i wan’t to cry…I am so happy for you! You are a really lucky person.

  • Awwww. This post makes me absolutely LONG for a second child! I don’t think I can afford one (both finances and sanity considered) but I am so happy for your family. Marlo sounds like a cuddly little sweetheart.

  • Mom of 1

    Congrats!

    And thank you so much for this post. As a mom who struggled with PPD I really want a sibling for my child, but am just a bit freaked out at the prospect. I in no way suffered as badly as you did after giving birth to Leta, so if you can swing it, you give me hope that I can too!

  • We’re all thinking about you, hang in there!! I’m not going to lie, I miss your posts, but you have the best excuse possible to be away as much as you want. Plus this is like a little preview of my life in 2 months.

  • Indigo

    Your post gave me goosebumps.

  • cjh

    So glad to hear you’re doing better this time and that you’re happy. How could you not be with that terribly cute new addition. We’ll wait patiently.

  • K

    I’m so happy for you, and Marlo is utterly, stunningly lovely. Such a beautiful, beautiful newborn!

  • So very precious. You keep making me cry with all these baby posts. She is absolutely beautiful, and I cannot wait to have one of my own!

  • Isn’t funny how bringing home another child increases your capacity for love? I was so worried that I would somehow have to fraction off a portion of what I had for my first, but instead, I found suprisingly, that love for your children is infinite and expands upon the arrival of each one.

    Enjoy your two girls!

    Jeni

  • Katie in Denver

    Heather, I got tears in my eyes reading what you wrote about how you’ve never been happier. I am a long-time reader and the journey you’ve been on to get to this point makes it even more significant. (oh, and Marlo Iris is SUCH a kick-ass name). I couldn’t be happier for you and your family.

  • Cara

    She is beautiful, Heather. I am so happy for you and your family. I cannot wait until I become a mother and experience what you have written about.

    Enjoy and embrace it!

  • Carrie

    Just beautiful.

  • Anonymous

    SO BEAUTIFUL! imagine the world if everyone felt the love as much as you are! thank you for lifting us all up with your lovely, real, and honest perspective on life!

  • Sara

    I don’t know what it is about second babies, but they all seem to be such happier, more chill than the first. At least that has been our experience. Not that he spends any less time attached to the boob than his sister did–even when he isn’t hungry he wants to be right on the boob, the nekkid boob no clothing allowed. But he’s just happier than she was. THANK GOD.
    Maybe it has something to do with knowing what to expect (somewhat), being able to prepare yourself mentally for what will be expected of you the first several weeks.
    Whatever it is, I’m so glad it’s working for you. You sound very happy.

  • Amy in SLC

    I just had my 2nd baby in April. The adjustment was sooo much harder than I thought it would be. I felt so out of sync. The physical recovery was harder and took longer and I constantly felt guilty about not having as much time for my 3 year old even though he was adjusting just fine to his new sister. The three of us had a good cry together on the floor in his bedroom one night when I couldn’t handle the sleep deprivation anymore. It does get better although I still can’t imagine being able to get out of my house with both of them before 9:30 a.m.!

  • That is the best description of having two kids I’ve ever seen.

    I’m so happy for you, and so look forward to reading about your beautiful family! It brightens my day!

  • I totally welled up on this one. I realize this is your job, but if you didn’t work from home you’d have six weeks maternity leave, so light posting–even no posting–should totally be expected. Dig out some greatest hits and let things settle for a while. Feeling every contraction and pushing a baby out without having your body numbed it so unbelievably empowering. No matter what struggles come with this child, or balancing life with two, you will always know that you are capable of *that*. As mother who has had many dark days sense the birth of daughter–and who knows all to well what it is like to have a lot of postpartum healing–sometimes all I could cling to is the memory of how amazing my birth felt and how I had never felt more strong the moments after I’d pushed her into the world.

  • rb

    Most moms take a maternity leave. I’m sure everyone will forgive you if you slow down a bit.

    OH MY GOD is she cute!

  • I can realte to your every word. I had twin boys when my daughter was just over two. The guilt i felt after their birth brought me to my knees. It also increased my love for her tenfold which i never thought possible.
    Congratulations. ♥

  • You are doing it totally right! It’s all about the loving and cuddling and enjoying as much as you can while it’s hectic as f*ck and crazy as batsh*t. You are doing great. Keep up the good work!

  • Eve

    urgh, relate.

  • Oh Heather, I am so incredibly happy it is going smoother for you guys this time. Incredibly happy. You have restored my dream that it doesn’t have to be so rough. While I will never get to experience it again, it’s awesome that this time is going better. Newborns are hard enough, without the depression.

    Just keep posting a pic for us, and we will quietly wait as you guys settle into being 4 humans and 2 dogs.

  • From one natural-birth mama to another, I have felt that pain. The healing takes time regardless of how well the birth goes, and the hormonal aftermath is a bumpy ride that everyone struggles through. I don’t think anyone is going to blame you for slacking off on your blog… unless, of course, they’ve never popped a baby out of their own vagina before.

    Congratulations on the birth of your beautiful daughter, and I am looking forward to hearing your birth story!

  • nic

    I am so happy for you I have tears in my eyes… crazy, I blame it on my 9 month old third kid. Your family is beautiful, and I love Marlo’s name!!

    congrats!

  • TED

    Just keep the baby pictures coming. She is so freaking cute.

  • My ovaries hurt.

  • in that last picture, i totally see what you meant when you said she looked like a glow worm.

    i had one of those toy glow worms when i was little–you know, the ones whose faces would light up–and i thought it was the best thing ever.

    so, clearly, it’s a good comparison as marlo looks pretty freaking awesome.

    congratulations and good luck!

  • I’m gonna need that baby to get ugly super fast because every time I check your blog and see a new picture of her, my “NEED A BABY NOW!” sensor goes off.

    Lo is precious. And to risk sounding like a total fruitcake, she looks like she smells really good. I love “new baby” smell.

  • So sweet! 🙂

  • What a sweet post. I’m so happy for you.

  • Anne P

    In the UK it’s a *criminal* offence to contact a mother about work issues during the first fortnight after giving birth. Take all the time you need. Yes, we’re longing to hear all about it and to see your beautiful glow-worm, but we’re not going anywhere, we’ll wait.

  • Ariel

    You are all beautiful:) Thank you for sharing!

  • SO happy to hear it – also happy to see you haven’t stopped posting about the dogs. Seems like so many people forget about the dogs once they have kids, but I’m so glad you still make time for updating us about both!

  • The rhythym will come, but hopefully not too quickly as that just means they’re growing up way too fast…isn’t that always the way.

    Beautiful pictures….enjoy!

  • Dianne

    I’m amazed at what you’ve posted since giving birth. You are not supposed to work that hard! Enjoy your maternity leave, and enjoy both of your beautiful children…God bless you all.

  • I’m glad to hear that you’re doing well and that you’re happy. That’s such a blessing =)

  • Candy

    As it should be….

  • Amie

    Having more than one kid is all about the triage. You need to be able to immediately assess every situation and decide who needs you and who can scream a little longer.
    good luck! she is lovely.
    -mom of three

  • Terri

    OMG…she looks like a “baby” already. (As opposed to a newborn) It goes by so quickly. Thanks for doing your best to throw a post at us here and there. I’m sure it’s difficult but I know many, like myself, run here every morning waiting, hoping for an update. It’s my addiction. Well, my healthiest addiction.

    I think you’re doing great! I’m sure it’s a little easier that Jon is home full time. I had to laugh when you said you put clothes on yesterday. It had been three days since I put on “street” clothes (I work from home) and I felt so quilty (it’s been 30 years since I had a baby) that I ran into the bedroom, threw on some clothes and took “our” baby (my sons girlfriend’s two yr old) to the park!

    Take care Heather and really, thanks so much for the updates.

  • Shelley Noble

    She’s gorgeous, you’re awesome. We are all out here pulling for you all. The whole pack.

  • That is so nice to hear. I am so happy for you and your family. 🙂

  • From someone you don’t know and will probably never met, I am truly happy for you guys and your happiness. You have defintitely given me the baby itch!

  • How do you keep from just eating her face off? She’s so freaking adorable.

  • Jo

    You and your husband definitely make beautiful babies. And can I just say that after finding your blog last month I’m having a hard time being productive at work.