An unfiltered fire hose of flaming condemnation

4/4 time

I think the best way to describe what it’s been like to bring a second child into the family is to imagine having a jazz band blasting an improvisational set in your left ear while listening to the Mormon Tabernacle Choir singing Christmas carols in your right ear, and there you are, a drummer in a rock band, and you’re on stage in front of 30,000 people trying to keep the beat to an acoustic version of “God Save the Queen” by the Sex Pistols.

I’m trying to find the rhythm. I’m getting there, but it’s slow going. This is all to say, thank you for being patient with me, I know posting has been light and it will continue to be for the next little while as I navigate a path through all this chaos. I’m still physically healing, and even though I gave birth without any drugs, the recovery has been just as painful and frustrating and ongoing as it was after giving birth with an epidural. I’ve got a post coming about labor, about how transforming the experience was for me, but it’s a long one and I’m still hammering away at all the tiny details. All while attached to my adorable, chubby caterpillar who from day one made it quite clear that she’d rather be no where else on earth than nestled right into my chest. I will tell you this, it has been so much better this time, still a little bumpy and rough here and there with one or two absolute freak outs, but I’ve been so much more diligent about taking every moment I can to stare at her and adore her every feature. And the weirdest thing has happened, this whole experience has increased my love for Leta by a measure I didn’t know was possible. I can say that right now, here this morning as my second child dozes on my breast, that I have never been happier in my entire life.

  • Toni

    That is so awesome. Enjoy your baby moon. I’m almost jealous. Almost! 😉

  • Tiff

    Sounds like you are doing great, to me!
    Both of your girls are absolutely gorgeous! You are one lucky Momma!

  • Your baby is beautiful (and I imagine your camera is quite the gem too!) nice blog, look forward to reading more!

  • Amazing adventures of love, life, and little ones. Marlo is the bomb. Leta is so cool. You are so lucky to have two girls! Congrats again – you deserve all the happiness in the world.

  • Kate

    Oh YAY YAY!!! I’m so glad to hear that. She is gorgeous.

  • Amanda

    I am so happy to hear that you are so happy. Also, Marlo is PRECIOUS, as is Leta.

  • If you think this is outstanding, wait until you are a grandparent. I am blessed to still be quite young and have a beautiful grandson. This time around, finances are better, I don’t have to work as hard and I am able to take more time to notice him, watch him, observe and absorb!

  • Alana

    Rarely have I seen a newborn baby so beautiful so young. Congratulations. 😀

  • I feel ya Heather! I gave birth just a few days before you to my first. I did it naturally without drugs and my son decided to come breech. By the time we discovered his “breechness” it was too late for any kind of drugs or c-section. By the time I got to the hospital I was at a 9 already! I am healing but not as fast as I would like to. Things take time I suppose and I need to learn to be patient. Unfortunately my little one is pretty little and has trouble latching on so I don’t know about this breast snuggling…yet…hopefully it will happen soon! Hang in there and I can’t wait to hear your birth story!

  • Pam

    Congratulations! Marlo is beautiful. Take all the time you need — your readers will surely understand and will be here when you get back.

  • lisa c.

    she is sooo cute!

  • It’s a gorgeous time when a little something that weighs less than 10 pounds can actually have more weight than the whole world.
    She is a beauty.

  • This is such a beautiful post. Really. Marlo is so adorable. You’re a lucky woman to have two beautiful little ones!

  • Julie

    I’m so glad that it is going more easily this time. Having been through the tough stuff once helps you the second time I think. Congratulations! Little Marlo is perfectly adorable, and it sounds like you are already being the perfect mom for her. I’m praying for extra rich sleep, contentment, and peace for you.

  • This post put a smile on my face. Not just because baby Marlo is achingly beautiful, but because you’re in a good place. Just love that. And take your time with the posts…I still check every day! 🙂

  • So glad to hear you’re doing well! I had my first baby a couple weeks ahead of Marlo, and I would feel totally and completely alone in this world if you hadn’t experienced a couple absolute freakouts so far. At this point, I simply cannot imagine doing the newborn thing a second time. Can’t wait to read your labor story, but take your time and take care of yourself!

  • Kimberly

    So happy you’re happy! It is such a special time, savor it.

  • Nat W.

    She’s a CUTIE. Also, no drugs? God bless you, woman.

  • Molly

    That is the most awesome thing to hear!

  • Sunda

    I just want to say — thanks. I’m expecting #2 in a couple of months here, and it’s really nerve wracking, and I’ve been trepidatious about how it might go, and your post really helped. Thanks! 🙂

    And, of course, congratulations!

  • Chubby caterpillar! Lol! She totally is – and an adorable one at that!

  • Katie.P

    I am so happy for you.

    It is something that has never happened for me, and I regret not having had children. I file my regret under ‘if I could go back, what would I change?’

    Instead I now take delight in others’ delight. God bless you and your family.

  • Anne

    Coming out of long time lurkdom to say your new daughter is just adorable! I am 32 wks pregnant and the cute new baby pics are definitely making me wish time would go just a bit faster. Congrats!

  • Chum

    What a beautiful baby. The eyebrows already!

  • Finally! I’m up to date and can comment on a current story!

    Marlo is a gorgeous baby. You’re going to be fine. A few ups and downs are to be expected. But it sounds like you’re doing great. I hope Leta is enjoying her new baby sister. Take your time, spend some time with your family. We’ll be here when you’re ready!

  • You have a beautiful family and I am so glad to hear how happy you are!

  • It’s so true; people are afraid to bring a second (or third, etc.) child into their lives but it’s true that your heart WILL expand exponentially, and the love you had before will seem shallow and pale in comparison.

    Congratulations, Heather, Jon and Leta… your lives just became blessed in ways you never knew possible.

  • Julia

    Congratulations on your beautiful little girl. It has been wonderful to hear about your journey — I myself am due in a week and have enjoyed following you along the way.

  • Deedee

    Marlo is a beautiful female version of Jon, don’t you think? I mean really. I can totally see her daddy in her adorable eyes and mouth in the bottom pic. Gorgeous!

  • Amanda Swindell

    I’m glad I’m not Marlo’s parent because I would have nibbled her adorable little ears off already! You deserve the happiness Heather.

  • Katka

    My heart just melted… And the second picture of Marlo must be one of your best pics ever…Good luck with everything

  • Please. I had a new baby once and I can’t believe you’ve found time to post AT ALL. Don’t apologize. Just know that we’re all hanging on every word and really all you have to do to satisfy us for the next month or so is post pictures of your little snuggle buggle.

  • Laura

    Long time reader, first time commenter. I just wanted to say that I could not be happier for you and your family. This post made me cry. I am so glad that you are happy and that your family is doing well. I wish you all the best.

  • Keep waltzing with and around your adorable family. Life is very good for you right now and that is wonderful.

  • Kathy from NJ

    You are cetainly entitled to some maternity leave, we’ll all just have to suffer some Dooce-withdrawal.

    Marlo is one of the most beautiful babies I’ve ever seen, she is perfect. Congratulations to all of you.

  • Julie

    You know that love you are feeling towards your children? You just wait until you have grandchildren. It’s mind blowing. I loved (and still do) my kids but I didn’t know I could love my grandson even more.

  • Great, uplifting, unexpected post. Marlo is unusually beautiful for such a little girl and I love her name, Marlo Iris. Thank you for the wonderful photo of Chuck, Coco & Marlo. I’m so happy that you are so happy.

  • Bec

    Just wanted to say thank YOU for sharing! Can’t wait to see Miss Marlo as she grows.

  • Oh there is nothing like those moments…….just the best…….still to this day I love to snuggle with my little vegemite who is 8 mnths old…..he snuggles under my arm when we lie on the bed together…..just the best……

  • Erin

    Awww… dying over here. I am 11 wks pregnant and ready to burst into tears over all of your recent posts.

  • stephanie

    Glad to hear all is well…Marlo is adorable..Recovery takes awhile; long time reader will keep checking in…take all the time you need…enjoy every minutes as they pass way too quickly…

  • There’s something in this child’s eyes…she is absolutely adorable. Wish I knew how to express it…but WOW.

    And yeah – I gave birth naturally with no drugs…I think that’s why my kid is an only child.

    Hang in there…been worrying about you all! (Mostly Chuck – glad to hear he isn’t skulking too terribly much.)

  • I am so, so, so happy for you. What a great moment of life to be in.

  • I am so happy for you:) She truly is adorable, I would have a hard time not staring at her constantly too. Enjoy!!

  • There is something quite transformative that occurs when giving birth naturally (without drugs). I’ve had a hard time describing it (out of body experience for sure) so I look forward to your post about giving birth to Marlo. I am so very happy for you and the fam. You are in a PERFECT spot…so centered and focused. Enjoy, no worries, us readers will be here when you are. Take care. xxoo.

  • She is outrageously gorgeous! Congrats! 🙂

  • Fan-freaking-tastic. Well done!

  • hey there, dooce. i’m a writer and mother of three and
    recently unfortunately started blogging about the loss of
    our baby at 13 weeks along, two weeks ago. it’s beautiful
    to come here and read your posts. i know the future will hold this for me again, and it cheers me up to read about
    your family. your babe is beautiful.

  • She is absolutely beautiful. I love her eyes!

  • Lori

    She is absolutely gorgeous! So glad things are going well for everyone.

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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