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Holiday for Infants

So let’s be honest. When you’re buying gifts for anyone under the age of, “Why does his thing look different than mine?” you’re really just buying for the parents of that someone, either to make their lives easier or because they think it’s cute. That infant someone couldn’t give a shit. We’re getting Marlo some paper towels, a set of keys, and an old remote control that she can destroy with slobber.

These are ideas for gifts I’d buy for friends with infants to say, hey, I know you’re busy and haven’t showered since Bush’s second term, so here’s something really, really cute. Also, let’s get together soon for tequila.

1. Yellow Kitty $38.00

2. Monkey Baby Washcloth Set $16.00

3. Wooden Book-Animal Homes $12

4. CHIAHAT $50

1. Haba – Croo-ak Wooden Rattle $13.99

2. My Little Button Boots $24

3. Baby Bib and Burp Cloth Set in Orange Trees on Periwinkle $22

1. Classic Crankypants $80

2. Organic Baby Soothe Shampoo and Wash $16.95

3. Giraffe onesie $32

4. Knotty Legs — Leg Warmers for baby or toddler — black and grey stripes $8

1. Peaches & Cream Hand-Knit Vintage ‘Lace’ Dress $70

2. Crochet Beanie With Flower $20.95

3. Zooguu Elephant Plush $25

4. Dress Me Up Organic Rabbit Rattle$28.95

5. Feather Onesie $15.00

1. Felix – Baby and Toddler Tee $50

2. Indestructibles Wiggle! March! $4.95

3. Custom Felt Octopus $40

4. Heifer International Flock of Chicks $20

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Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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