the smell of my desperation has become a stench

Another conversation about BYU in the car

Leta: Mom, where did you meet Daddy?

Me: I met him when I was in college. About thirteen years ago.

Leta: Was he in college, too?

Me (secretly hoping she doesn’t ask where we went to college): Yes.

Leta: Where did you go to college?

Me (almost inaudibly): BYU.

Leta: Where?


Leta: You both went to BYU?! Did you love it?! That’s where Mariah (my niece, her favorite person in the world) wants to go!

Me: Not really, Leta. It wasn’t much fun.

Leta: It wasn’t fun? But don’t they have playgrounds at BYU?

Me (lightbulb! lightbulb!): They don’t, actually. They don’t have any playgrounds at all. They tore down all the playgrounds.

Leta (panicking): But are there colleges that do have playgrounds?!

Me: Of course! Remember? I told you about one in Massachusetts. There’s also one in Connecticut, a couple in Northern California, there are even a few in England! Actually, now that I think about it, BYU is the only one that doesn’t.

Leta: Mom, wait until Mariah hears about this!

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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