the smell of my desperation has become a stench


In addition to two cherry trees and a plum tree, we have an apricot tree in our backyard. Fun, except the apricots don’t ripen until, like, never, and the tree just keeps dropping these things into the yard. It looks like it hailed apricots in our backyard all the time. Even worse? Only the Mormons will get this one… IT’S NOT EVEN YIELDING ANY POPCORN. WTF?

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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