the smell of my desperation has become a stench

Guest bed

The door to the guest room will not stay open, but when it swings back it doesn’t close all the way. The dogs will often nudge it open to go nap on the bed, and then they get stuck in the room. Because they aren’t smart enough to know how to swing the door back open.

I don’t think I have to tell you how many heart attacks I’ve suffered because they can’t come when called. Pets are such bitches.

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Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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