the smell of my desperation has become a stench

Because this was too long for twitter

Leta: “Mom, Dad?”

Both of us: “Yes, sweetie?”

Leta: “Did maps exist when you were my age?”


Me: “Yes. Yes they did. But some things have changed since then. When I was your age there was a country in Europe called Czechoslovakia. Now that country is two different countries called the Czech Republic and… what’s the other one?”

Jon: “I think it’s Slovakia.”

Me: “Right. DUH. And Germany used to be two different countries: West Germany and East—”

Leta: “OKAY. All I asked is whether or not maps were around back then. I didn’t ask what you were wearing or what your hair looked like or if you liked pizza!”

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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