the smell of my desperation has become a stench

Welcome to Armstrong Inn, part five

Before I can wrap up the IKEA guest bedroom project I first have to introduce you to the newest member of our circus. Guys, meet Dane, a close friend of Tyrant and Chief Assembler of IKEA Bedroom Furniture.

Dane started out as a close friend of Tyrant, but he very quickly become a close friend of the whole family, and now Coco has a new favorite person in the world. I’ll be working upstairs in the office and will know the exact moment Dane has pulled into the driveway because Coco starts howling as if someone is lowering her into a shark tank while yanking out her eyeballs.

Marlo is quite taken with him, too, and when she hears Coco go crazy like that she will come running while yelling, “It’s Dane! It’s Dane!” Because he’ll sit and make stuff with her. Or chase her from room to room. Or hide while she seeks. Or ask how high when she tells him to JUMP, SON.

Without him we’d probably still be assembling furniture, so he deserves many thanks for putting in all that hard work. And for entertaining Marlo so that we could film without her jumping on the bed or ripping the flowers out of their vases. I know, she just wanted to help blah blah blah, TODDLERS DON’T HELP. We’ve established that, right? You’re cleaning out a junk drawer and the toddler walks over, asks if she can help and the next thing you know she’s set the dog on fire.

(Insert an image of a very intense Charlie Sheen screaming, “HELPING!“)

So, a source list, for those of you who are interested. Here’s where we got everything in the room (see the reveal for reference):

The bed: MALM
Mattress: SULTAN FINNVIK
Bedding: ALINA
Lumbar pillows: Custom
Small square pillow: Multi bargello asterisk pillow
Throws: HERMINE and HENNY
Jute rug: TÅRNBY
Cowhide rug: KOLDBY
Dresser: TRONDHEIM
Vintage lamps: Seedwerks Etsy Shop
Side tables: Colby accent stool
Bedside lamps: TORNA
Pitcher: Pottery Barn (can’t find a link on their website)
Leather stool by the wall: Pottery Barn (something similar to this)
Wall art: Marimekko’s VATTENBLANK
Curtain fabric: Dandelion
Bamboo shade: Lowe’s
Alarm clock: Target
Vases: From my own collection

As for some of the other questions:

Is there a mirror in the closet?
Yes. A full length mirror so you can check out your bed head.

Do you take reservations?
If your last name is Boone, then no. I don’t.

Is there a reason you don’t have color on the walls in your living room and guest room?
The white in both of those rooms looks really good in both natural and artificial light, and we wanted to be able to go wild with the accent colors. Sticking with a white wall let us do that, plus we didn’t have to worry about Coco getting high on fumes.

And is there any plan for the wall above the dresser, or prefer to leave that calm and understated?
We left that space bare because there were enough other accents in the room that it would have felt too busy. Also, it leaves room for that vase of flowers to work its magic.

Who gets to christen it?
Grandmommy and Grandpa Rob.

What? No plunger? WTF!
There is a plunger in the bathroom attached to the room. Isn’t that where one normally puts a plunger? Or did I miss that day of college?

Are there Kleenex in the room?
Yes, there is a box of tissues in the closet along with a robe, clean towels (hand, face and body), hangers and a trashcan. I figured guests could pull those out and place them where it was convenient for them most. Because some people are as picky about their tissue as they are about their plungers.

How did you hang the curtains?
The curtains run along a track that is screwed into the ceiling, from wall to wall (I was told the technical term is a track and the clips that hold the curtains are called carriers. If I am wrong, do not look at me! Look at that short brunette from Louisiana! She done did it!)

If I missed anything I’ll try to answer in the comments. Many thanks to the lovely people at IKEA for partnering with me on this project and to the stellar team at Federated Media who organized everything. And thanks to you guys for all your input. It wouldn’t be nearly as welcoming as it is without all your helpful suggestions. You don’t have to sleep on my couch.

(To see the whole project in all its various stages, see Part One, Part Two, Part Three, and Part Four.)

……..

This post is brought to you by IKEA and THIS IS THE OFFICIAL DISCLOSURE, WHAT UP, FTC!

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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