Heater, Mother of Lance

Welcome to Armstrong Inn, part five

Before I can wrap up the IKEA guest bedroom project I first have to introduce you to the newest member of our circus. Guys, meet Dane, a close friend of Tyrant and Chief Assembler of IKEA Bedroom Furniture.

Dane started out as a close friend of Tyrant, but he very quickly become a close friend of the whole family, and now Coco has a new favorite person in the world. I’ll be working upstairs in the office and will know the exact moment Dane has pulled into the driveway because Coco starts howling as if someone is lowering her into a shark tank while yanking out her eyeballs.

Marlo is quite taken with him, too, and when she hears Coco go crazy like that she will come running while yelling, “It’s Dane! It’s Dane!” Because he’ll sit and make stuff with her. Or chase her from room to room. Or hide while she seeks. Or ask how high when she tells him to JUMP, SON.

Without him we’d probably still be assembling furniture, so he deserves many thanks for putting in all that hard work. And for entertaining Marlo so that we could film without her jumping on the bed or ripping the flowers out of their vases. I know, she just wanted to help blah blah blah, TODDLERS DON’T HELP. We’ve established that, right? You’re cleaning out a junk drawer and the toddler walks over, asks if she can help and the next thing you know she’s set the dog on fire.

(Insert an image of a very intense Charlie Sheen screaming, “HELPING!“)

So, a source list, for those of you who are interested. Here’s where we got everything in the room (see the reveal for reference):

The bed: MALM
Bedding: ALINA
Lumbar pillows: Custom
Small square pillow: Multi bargello asterisk pillow
Jute rug: TÅRNBY
Cowhide rug: KOLDBY
Vintage lamps: Seedwerks Etsy Shop
Side tables: Colby accent stool
Bedside lamps: TORNA
Pitcher: Pottery Barn (can’t find a link on their website)
Leather stool by the wall: Pottery Barn (something similar to this)
Wall art: Marimekko’s VATTENBLANK
Curtain fabric: Dandelion
Bamboo shade: Lowe’s
Alarm clock: Target
Vases: From my own collection

As for some of the other questions:

Is there a mirror in the closet?
Yes. A full length mirror so you can check out your bed head.

Do you take reservations?
If your last name is Boone, then no. I don’t.

Is there a reason you don’t have color on the walls in your living room and guest room?
The white in both of those rooms looks really good in both natural and artificial light, and we wanted to be able to go wild with the accent colors. Sticking with a white wall let us do that, plus we didn’t have to worry about Coco getting high on fumes.

And is there any plan for the wall above the dresser, or prefer to leave that calm and understated?
We left that space bare because there were enough other accents in the room that it would have felt too busy. Also, it leaves room for that vase of flowers to work its magic.

Who gets to christen it?
Grandmommy and Grandpa Rob.

What? No plunger? WTF!
There is a plunger in the bathroom attached to the room. Isn’t that where one normally puts a plunger? Or did I miss that day of college?

Are there Kleenex in the room?
Yes, there is a box of tissues in the closet along with a robe, clean towels (hand, face and body), hangers and a trashcan. I figured guests could pull those out and place them where it was convenient for them most. Because some people are as picky about their tissue as they are about their plungers.

How did you hang the curtains?
The curtains run along a track that is screwed into the ceiling, from wall to wall (I was told the technical term is a track and the clips that hold the curtains are called carriers. If I am wrong, do not look at me! Look at that short brunette from Louisiana! She done did it!)

If I missed anything I’ll try to answer in the comments. Many thanks to the lovely people at IKEA for partnering with me on this project and to the stellar team at Federated Media who organized everything. And thanks to you guys for all your input. It wouldn’t be nearly as welcoming as it is without all your helpful suggestions. You don’t have to sleep on my couch.

(To see the whole project in all its various stages, see Part One, Part Two, Part Three, and Part Four.)


This post is brought to you by IKEA and THIS IS THE OFFICIAL DISCLOSURE, WHAT UP, FTC!

  • luv and kiwi

    2012/03/14 at 10:32 am

    Man I love these kinds of posts! I LIVE for them! In my former life I was a designer…or rich person who had an interior decorator (stick hand over burning flame like in Coming to America)

    My last name isn’t Boone!!! 🙂

  • Groovymarlin

    2012/03/14 at 10:43 am

    Our bedroom (shoot, our whole dang house) also features a LOT of IKEA furniture and accessories. I loved this project because it gave me inspiration and ideas for new ways to accessorize, place, and fiddle with our existing IKEA stuff – as well as ideas about what kind of new IKEA stuff we might need!

    I think the finished room looks great and very welcoming. Kudos on finishing such an impressive project at what must be a pretty difficult time for all of you.

  • gcostaki

    2012/03/14 at 10:50 am

    So non-IKEA stuff was allowed in the IKEA room? Swedish people are so f-ing screwed up that’s for sure.



  • Sabine

    2012/03/14 at 11:00 am

    A sweet-faced boy, good with kids, dogs, and IKEA? KEEPER.

  • slappyintheface

    2012/03/14 at 11:06 am

    still waiting for that invite … um … yeah

  • Caren Lynn Cross

    2012/03/14 at 11:08 am

    I heart the lamps. So neat! Especially since they make Tyrant roll his eyes.

  • dooce

    2012/03/14 at 11:36 am

    Thanks for the kind words, guys. A lot of people worked hard on this, and we’re really proud!

  • OLP

    2012/03/14 at 12:13 pm

    The plunger was probably a reference to a wine bottle from a while back. Wasn’t it called PlungerHead and a fav of yours ?

  • araggio

    2012/03/14 at 12:40 pm

    The only thing I could recommend to add is an iron and ironing board. It is one of the things all of our guest thank us for in the guest bedroom.

    You all did a great job. Love the rug!

  • giggloki

    2012/03/14 at 1:07 pm

    While not everything in the room would be what I’d pick, I’d stay in that room any day. Which I guess is what makes a good guest room. Will defiantly steal some ideas when I ever get around to fixing up a room for guests, and then also getting people who’d visit. 🙂

  • gwenlle

    2012/03/14 at 2:32 pm

    Thanks for providing all of your sources (even the non-IKEA ones). The room looks really nice; and I liked the video you posted last week. Do you mind if i ask: where did you get the basket that you put all the fancy guest stuff in.

    Thanks so much!

  • Wowzers

    2012/03/14 at 4:06 pm

    Thank you for answering my question! Yippee! Now, where can I buy those track, clips, and carriers?

  • AshesVonDust

    2012/03/14 at 4:27 pm

    My last name IS Boone 🙁


    It is a nice room though 🙂

  • kimjay_everyday

    2012/03/14 at 6:29 pm

    I’d like to make a reservation, puh-lease!!! Is it kid-friendly? Cause the Peanut and Marlo could par-tay!


  • Janice

    2012/03/14 at 8:07 pm

    Thanks for the references. The room is so well thought out, colorful enough to be welcoming and yet allow the visitor to feel it is their own space.

    Does Dane whistle?

  • tallnoe

    2012/03/15 at 1:56 am

    Heather: is the panel in the middle, behind the curtains (or so it seems), on the same set of clips and stuff as the curtains? Or is that done differently?
    That wall is so rad.

  • ChrissyD

    2012/03/15 at 7:05 am

    I just watched the reveal video again, and noticed the water pitcher. I love that the lid is also the glass….such a whimsical design. I hope I can find it on Pottery Barn. Nice job on the decorating.

  • dianemaggipintovoiceover

    2012/03/15 at 10:36 am

    that kid has a future in assembling ikea crap. does he do that for a living? cuz he sho’ could!

    also, writing this on 3/15, and i <3 cami. but ... do your advertisers <3 her too? i know, i know -- you've heard this before. it's just a little ... weird ... her abundant appearances ...

  • phoebe218

    2012/03/15 at 1:13 pm

    I love that the square accent pillow costs almost as much as the bed frame. Yeah Ikea! (not a criticism… just like the juxtaposition).

  • Kristen Marie

    2012/03/15 at 3:01 pm

    Dooce, First, I love the room and all the great accents. I too am a little confused by Cami’s constant appearance in your blog. I get that she is your best friend and you are trying to give her and her blog some PR. But, c’mon. We come here for you because we love YOU! Also, your style is fanstastic, I would love to see more of it and less of the unrealistic style that Cami rocks.

  • Diorama

    2012/03/15 at 7:13 pm

    I like Cami pics. Maybe Heather doesn’t want to do it right now. Maybe her style is admiring Cami’s style at this moment in time. It’s her blog. I don’t know why some think she is giving Cami a golden ticket to fame and fortune,it’s not that earth shattering. Maybe Heather is changing and evolving like humans are known to do…

  • OrangeLily

    2012/03/15 at 10:48 pm

    Just commenting here because comments were closed above. Hang in there, lady. We’re wishing well for you, your whole family. Hang in there.

    This might sound like an odd thing to bring up, but there’s a point to it. Yesterday the View had John Ramsey on, and his minister advised him, when the going gets really tough, when it all gets too hard to handle, go to sleep. Go sleep. You won’t be thinking of anything then. And who knows, you may feel a little better, or a little stronger, when you wake up.

    BTW, nice room. 😉

  • Angrymermaid

    2012/03/17 at 11:13 am

    hi Heather….love love love the room. It looks amazing. I live on an island in the middle of the Atlantic ocean….sadly with no access to IKEA.

    Just wanted to say I’ve been following you for many years. I just had a peek at Leta’s most recent picture and I can’t even begin to absorb how grown up she’s looking. I feeling like I’ve watched her grow up from afar. Your kids are beautiful and I think you’re doing an amazing job at raising interesting healthy children.

    This is a difficult time for you. Hang in there. There are so many of us cheering you (and Jon) on behind the scenes. I’m experiencing something very similar…and you’re site has been a wonderful place to come and just feel normal.


Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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