the smell of my desperation has become a stench


Yesterday I took Leta to buy some new sneakers, and after thirty minutes of trying on ones covered in glitter and ones with a built-in ballet rotating thing that, HOLY GOD, they are putting built-in ballet rotating things in kids’ shoes! People. This shit is crazy. Jesus wore homemade sandals and he turned out pretty good, you know?

We finally settled on this pair. No glitter or crazy accouterments, but they are silver. So, fancy enough. And she was really excited to show them to her friends at school today. Remember those days? Those days before adulthood destroyed everything?

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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