the smell of my desperation has become a stench

I am a horrible person

At the birthday party on Saturday Marlo got a balloon poodle. Because of the heat some of the other balloon animals were popping around the yard, so she started screaming, “DON’T POP MY POODLE!” Over and over again. I know I should not have laughed at that because laughing makes it really, really gross, but oh my god. At one point my two kids had a minor altercation, and when I intervened I actually had to ask Leta, “Did you pop her poodle?” And I had to be very serious about it. That was not an easy thing to do.

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Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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