This here bringer of the pooper to the fun party

I found a creationist science book

You woke up this morning and were like, wait. Hmm… yesterday was the holiday. Not today. Why is there a feeling in my bosom that something special is supposed to happen? Is it the spirit of the Lord? Have I been listening to too much Barry Manilow? Well, guess what. The two are one in the same. It says so in Leviticus. Look it up, Lamar.

Today is that very special day when we get to explore just how much humiliation a canine is willing to endure. You’re sitting there thinking that dogs don’t understand the emotion of humiliation, aren’t you? Dogs can’t possibly understand the loss of dignity.

You’re so wrong.

Look at him. He totally wants to take a shit in the middle of my bed.

Okay, so THIS is a dog who has no concept of dignity:

But this one? This one is planning to commit murder:

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