the smell of my desperation has become a stench

Elvin ears

photo of Chuck the dog by Heather B. Armstrong for

Look who came when called?

You can’t see the gray patch along his back or under his snout, so he looks distinctly like a puppy. He’ll be eleven in the spring, so I’m trying to be a little more forgiving of his shortcomings. See that little mound of dirt to the right of the photo? Coco dug that hole FOR FUN, but there are three more like it in the yard that have his name all over them. We’ve got gophers. GOPHERS. And since he’s the hunter and not the herder, he thinks he can play exterminator.

Deep breaths. Please do not let him show up to the back door with “a present.”

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Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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