the smell of my desperation has become a stench

Little bow peep

photo of Chuck by Heather B. Armstrong for

I’m not really a bow type of person (you come at my hair with a bow and I am legally obligated to shoot you) but several years ago I saw these ornaments in a copy of Martha Stewart magazine and decided I could make them myself. Crafting? No. Bow-tying. Not the same thing. Do I know the difference? Of course not.

I bought huge rolls of ribbon at Costco, snipped several two-foot strips and tied bows. Attached a green hook, and BOOM.

You cannot take the Mormon out of the girl.

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Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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