the smell of my desperation has become a stench

The ER baby

We’ve always joked that Marlo was going to be the one forcing us to make trips to the ER, and isn’t it a little disappointing that it’s taken her this long? There is a much longer story to come, I just need to gather some time to get all the details down. Short version: she fell off of a bed and fractured the top part of her elbow. It’s a tiny fracture, but she’ll be in this splint for a couple of more days. And then she gets a full-on cast. That she can bludgeon people with.

She was super calm throughout the seven-hour ordeal at both ER facilities (see? there’s a story), and she’s very proud of the “bracelets” they gave her at the hospital. It hasn’t slowed her down one bit. You watch. This kid is going to conquer the world. Or end up in prison. Either/or.

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Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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